Angels A+ Season Ticket Service

They are going to be raising ticket prices, and the cover for this operation has landed. Oh man I am going through the mail and here is a letter from the Angels informing me that season seat holders will now have a highly-trained client service representative assigned to their section to "ensure that your Angel season seat experience is the best possible". The page-worth of bullshit goes on to say absolutely nothing - in highlighting all that they will be doing for the seatholder, there is not one solid thing noted that is of worth or interest.

Big whoop, we are getting:
Season seat renewal process (already had it)
Annual seat exchange/upgrade program (already had it)
Managing your Angels online account (already had it)
Online ticket sales and forwarding program (already had it)
Information game time changes, important mailings, etc. (already had it)
Account financials and billing questions (already had it)

They go on with more complete BS, showing a guy and girl in corporate attire on the pamphlet acting like they are there to help you like it is American Airlines and your flight has been delayed and they are going to get you a hotel, a gin-n-tonic and a massage for your troubles.

Oh here is a great service they offer: Survey and feedback requests. What the frack does that mean? Oh wow, you get to use my time to provide you information to tailor your corporate agenda to maximize revenue based on my responses? Wow, you really DO sound solely dedicated to servicing my Season Seat experience.

Hey, Corporate Shint-for-brains intern who came up with this idea of a fake concierge as an excuse to raise ticket prices, hey loser, here is what I want as a season seat holder:

1. No diaper bags blocking the aisle, mister and miss casual fan with whiny ADHD larvae.

2. No Bahsitn, Wankee or Dawdja fans in the park. Arrest them after their first sip of beer for public intoxication. Zero tolerance. That means you, Jack Nicholson and you Ben Affleck and you Vin Scully.

3. National Anthem Singers that can carry a tune.

4. Slow food service employees get fired.

5. Oh, by the way, good food would be nice.

6. Hey, keep up these teams that make the playoffs, a swell idea overall.

7. How about three seconds of peace and quiet from that stadium jukebox between innings.

8. When the Angels are getting their asses kicked, we are not in the mood for upbeat jumbotron footage of Robb Quinlan's three total hits with heavy metal music blaring in a ludicrous juxtaposition of power/no power.

9. If a kid is kicking my chair or a tall guy is sitting in front of me, make them move.

10. Don't fucking patronize me like I am one of Arte's billionaire buddies who expects the stadium to mimic the finer aspects of the Bellagio.

In lieu of bending over backwards on these items, please then just don't insult my intelligence with your corporate branding, nor jerk me off with your pretend-upscale-noveau-riche OC-concierge-bullshit.

Look kid, most season seat holders remember when the stadium was surrounded by Orange Groves, and with the mortgage crisis the way it is, we will likely be here when it is back to being surrounded by fruit trees and your concierge corporate mentality is running a brothel in Beijing's high-rent party-member-suck-off district.

Folks, the jerk-off has begun. Prepare to pay per stroke...

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