Bond's home run* ball

Then I put it on my band saw and carve it into a large asterisk.

After that, I encase the thing in a block of resin.

Finally, I mail it to the San Francisco Chronicle.

and spread it in my garden. Great fertilizer!

and sell half to a collector and donate the other half to Cooperstown.

Put it in a box and mail it to Barry.

It's just not funny, clever, or witty in any conceivable fashion.

But personally, I sell the shit out of it, because I can buy myself an official baseball for 5$ at SportsMart.

ASAP

at first that I would want to throw it back.  I mean, it's almost worth $50,000 just to be "that guy" who threw Bonds' ball back.  You'd be remembered forever, except not in the Steve Bartman way, but in the cool way.  

But now, fuck that, I'd sell it.

I was in the RF bleachers, within 5 rows of the fence, for all three games of the Dodgers - Giants series waiting for 755 and 756.  The Dodgers were so intent on not letting Bonds hit any home runs that they forgot how to beat the rest of the Giants and lost the series.  The Dodgers should have been swept, but got lucky in the 2nd game.

I would have run the interview circuit: Leno, Letterman, Larry King, Today, etc.  Then put it up on my own auction web site dedicated to the ball and fetched $1.5M.

Not quite enough to retire, but still, it would have changed my everyday routine forever.  I would have gone part time at my job and spent more time with the kids and wife than at the office.