Open letter to a GM...

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 13, 2008 10:35 PM PST Comment 48 comments

I loved VladIS's latest fanpost (us vlads stick together), so I have decided to take it one step further. Hey, what the hell, its Sunday. This is for all you die hard 170/8yr Teix fans.

Dear Theo,

C'mon. You have this very good big sweaty albino gorilla at 1st, and a really good third baseman already. Teix isn't worth nearly as much to you as us. And besides, what you really need is a guy with offensive stats comparable or better than Teix's but at a different postion. There is one guy on the market that fits that description: Manny Ramirez.

Yeah, I know you guys have had your problems, but it is time to man up. He is the man you need. He fits perfectly into your team. If you really care about your team, you will put your ego aside. Call Manny and set up a meeting. The script should be as follows.

Theo: I'm stupid, you're smart. I was wrong, you were right. You're the best, I'm the worst. You're good looking, I'm not attractive.

Manny: All right, as long as you're willing to admit that.

Then everything will be back to normal in NE Patriot Land.

(Bonus points: What movie is the script from)

This Fan-Post is authored by an independent fan. Tell us what you think and how you feel.

1 recs | Comment 48 comments

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Comments

HAPPY GILMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve seen that movie like 50 times and it never gets old.

by Chzburger Jones on Dec 13, 2008 10:40 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Damn, first guy that replies gets the bonus points.

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 13, 2008 11:37 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

You guys have lost me

appealing to an asshole preppy who lucks into a big budget. Get off your knees Haloland.

by Rev Halofan on Dec 13, 2008 10:57 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

It's a joke

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 13, 2008 11:33 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Or rather, a half truth with an ironic, funny, twist (sheesh, at least I thought so)

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 13, 2008 11:40 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

well i don't get the joke

but even dignifying those slimy chowd administrators as worthy of having their name in a Halos Heaven headline (which i removed and replaced with “a GM”) … no matter how sophisticated, hip and ironic your approach is, it still is like rolling into a puddle of one’s own drool instead of just flipping the pillow over and going back to dreaming about next season.

by Rev Halofan on Dec 14, 2008 1:28 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs

Wow

Keeping it real, over here!

by mattwelch on Dec 14, 2008 6:29 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

You two should get a room

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 15, 2008 1:27 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Why not just

change EVERYONE’s original language to reflect your personal viewpoint? Then we can be just like the “Free Press” in China – “:Censorship Central”
Lighten up guys – he was having a little fun here

by SocalAngelFaninOC on Dec 14, 2008 8:28 AM PST up reply actions 4 recs

i AM lite

Did I ban him?

Okay I got harsh, whatevah …. ya hit a nerve ya get slapped, what is so hard to understand about that? Free Tibet, Falun Gong in my underwear, Hu Jintao has a mistress named Right Said Fred … how is that?

by Rev Halofan on Dec 14, 2008 11:17 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Right Said Fred?

I thought Hu had a thing with the Thompson Twins?

YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE.....

by halofolife on Dec 14, 2008 11:51 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Hu Me Now

In your Falun Arms
DALILAMA with me

i think you might have a point here…

by Rev Halofan on Dec 14, 2008 12:38 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs

Double * * and dark green

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 15, 2008 1:28 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

double asterisk and dark green

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 15, 2008 1:29 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I got the joke

Now lets all go out and get a delicious foot long Subway Sub.

YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE.....

by halofolife on Dec 13, 2008 11:55 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Cold Cut Combo

I eat three a day to help keep me strong.

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Specializing in maniac-ball since 2000

by halofan4life on Dec 14, 2008 9:04 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

oh, i'm sorry

here’s your pinky

"i got 5ive on it"

by Funke5ive on Dec 14, 2008 12:31 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Joke or not...

These whingy posts make us look like assholes. There is way too much discussion about Boston on this blog. Why is this even a post? It’s not news, informative, or even humorous. And yes, I recognize the irony in attempting to make a point in a pointless thread, and the fact that this colossal waste of time makes me a jerk-off.

White trashin' the 909

by Red114 on Dec 14, 2008 12:40 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

I wasn't whinging, honestly

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 15, 2008 1:30 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

some people took this post a little too seriously

maybe manny for the halos would be helpful. could all relax a little more.

by linkbruin on Dec 14, 2008 1:10 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

I'd want to clean out his car!

Do you know why Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls? Hair doesn't grow on steel.

by vlad IS my man on Dec 14, 2008 11:07 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Asterisk/green

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 15, 2008 1:31 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

here you go

by blochead on Dec 14, 2008 2:20 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Can't we all just get along...

YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE.....

by halofolife on Dec 14, 2008 2:21 AM PST reply actions 1 recs

The negotiation transcript

Ninja: I heard manny bad things about you(ha! i kill myself), but we need you if we want to beat the sux in the playoffs.

Manny:How much?

Ninja: 20 mil for three years and your own personal secretary that you can push to the ground whenever you want.

Manny: Can I grow my dreads and pee on the rocks in CF?

Ninja: OK

Manny: also I want Willits and matthews to carry me to LF every night.

Ninja:done

Manny:alright

by blochead on Dec 14, 2008 2:31 AM PST reply actions 2 recs

so what wrong with that!!!

except…..the Nijna forgot Manny needs someone to pull down his pants for him before he pushes his own personal secretary to the ground.

When I'm not at the stadium, I'd rather be watching my Halos back in Costa Rica!

by Dono Romantico on Dec 17, 2008 7:55 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Feeling Like Bostons Bitch

Cut this shit out!! You me us look and sound like their BITCH. We will suck no mans wienie. You can if you please, but like I am trying to say, You come up less than a man. JUST NOT FUNNY.

"......and you can kiss it GOODBYE"

by Hapyorange on Dec 14, 2008 7:37 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

You said wienie

Hehhhh hehhhhhh hehhhhhhhh

You ever feel as if your mind had started to erode?

by PieceOfAase on Dec 14, 2008 11:52 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Hey man...

But I got these double cheeseburgers! You want some burgers man?

—name that movie

Peanuts...Get your Overpriced Peanuts!

by Angel Hawker on Dec 14, 2008 3:23 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Don't be a manace to South Central while drinking your juice in the hood

YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE.....

by halofolife on Dec 14, 2008 5:10 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Allllrriiiiigggghtttt

My attempt at humor obviously failed.

I’m stupid, you guys are smart. I was wrong, you guys were right. You’re all the best, I’m the worst. You’re goo. Sorry, can’t go there!

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 15, 2008 1:36 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Hey vladtheimpaler

Don’t feel bad, you managed to work in a Happy Gilmore reference on this thread, next try Airplane or Airplane II.

YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE.....

by halofolife on Dec 15, 2008 10:57 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Thanks for the reply

It’s actually kind of my fault. Been away for awhile, then I come back too strong. It’s all good. I’m settling back in.

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 16, 2008 12:51 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I know you from the posts...

And therefore I’m sure you read my stuff before. Unlike many of our Halo brethren (and sistren?) I don’t take things too seriously, after all it is just a game, however seriously we all take it…Ive said things that have earned the ire, of our fellow Halo fanatics, I’m sure you’ll redeem yourself brotha…keep on keepin on…Let’s hope we get 101 wins this upcoming season!!!

YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE.....

by halofolife on Dec 16, 2008 1:03 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

How dare you not say 102 wins!

;)

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 16, 2008 1:11 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

My bad

162-0, good enough?

YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE.....

by halofolife on Dec 16, 2008 1:15 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Alright, as long as your willing to admit that

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 16, 2008 1:19 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

P.S.

Tequila is a funny thing, when drunk in small amounts, you pay attention to what is said, when more is drunk, you don’t give a sh*t, about what’s said!

YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE.....

by halofolife on Dec 16, 2008 1:19 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Nighty night. See ya tomorrow.

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 16, 2008 1:25 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Later Mr.vladtheimpaler

Have a good one. Go Halo’s!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE.....

by halofolife on Dec 16, 2008 1:28 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Go Halo's!!!!!!!!!!!!

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 16, 2008 2:06 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Awwwww

It was really sweet witnessing the blossoming of your relationship. It’s so inspiring how two people who don’t understand how to use an apostrophe can find each other. There’s someone for everyone.

White trashin' the 909

by Red114 on Dec 16, 2008 5:18 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Ok, whingy, that's enough

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 16, 2008 2:56 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

How am I whinging?

Just breakin’ balls.

White trashin' the 909

by Red114 on Dec 16, 2008 6:45 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

See your 1st post here

And I doubt if you could break a sweat. People attacking others behind the veil of the internet are usually the biggest pansies around.

Angel Pitching, Angel Defense - get past that.

by vladtheimpaler on Dec 16, 2008 11:23 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Hey all..

Its whiny….what is whingy? whingy like a bat? As for the improper use of an apostrophe, I was drinkin tequila…why are ya breakin’ my balls Red114? Seriously, what is whingy Red114?

YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE.....

by halofolife on Dec 17, 2008 12:57 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Ha!

Ok ok! Sorry if it came across harsh. My bad. I too may or may not have been influenced. And whinging is pretty much like whining. It just means to complain. But seriously, I’m just messing around.

White trashin' the 909

by Red114 on Dec 17, 2008 7:02 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs