Still have not figured out how I am going to tell my 9-year-old nephew the news that his favorite three Angels are not returning to the team - and to add that Vlad is being replaced, Figgy is on a division rival and that Lackey is a hated R... Red S-- aaaack, finding it hard to even say it...
about 2 years ago
Rev Halofan
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Dang
Pretty unlucky that those three happen to be his three favorite Angels…
I’d watch out for who he says are his new favorites — based off his luck, they might not be around long!
They've been around almost his whole life
when you look at it that way he might have “the touch”…
by Rev Halofan on Dec 18, 2009 11:25 PM PST up reply actions
Just as long as he didn't send them off to the cornfield
“You’re a bad player… a verrrrry bad player!”
If that’s the kind of “touch” he has, then try to get him to cast a glance at Gary Matthews Jr.
by Hoppity Hooper on Dec 19, 2009 9:23 AM PST up reply actions
Breaking the news
Here’s what you say:
Ok buddy, you know how when people are no longer here they go to a special place? And if they lived a good live they go to heaven with the rest of the Angels like Mr. Adenheart. Well Mr. Figgens has just moved and will just visit us sometimes and Mr. Vlady is looking for a new home but when he finds it he will probably stop by sometime but Mr. Lackey has gone to that place where you go if you’ve been bad and he will never be the same.
Or you can just get him excited about his new favorites Mr. Wood, Mr. Godzilla and Mr. Saunders.
by sunshine thermometer on Dec 18, 2009 11:27 PM PST reply actions
He's not 4, he's 9.
No matter what happens from here on, it has been a great season.
by Rally Manatee on Dec 18, 2009 11:56 PM PST up reply actions
not 4, 9
my mistake, since he’s of the ripe old age of 9 why not tell him the truth; well buddy, economically its the best for all involved. See, when you are dealing with large sums of money some times emotion means nothing at all, so now that you are 9 it’s time you start to realize that it doesn’t pay to become attached to anything and that all that matters is the all mighty dollar.
Also Manatee, should I tell my kids to go ahead and light a fire in the fire place on Christmas eve………..
P.S. correction on the original post should read “Mr. Figgins”
by sunshine thermometer on Dec 19, 2009 12:31 AM PST up reply actions
I know how you feel Rev.
I’ve had to talk my brother off of “the ledge” everyday since Monday.
He lacks some of the optimism we possess here.
Nick would be proud.
I'm with you rev...
I’m having the same problem with my 6yo, who knows the line-up, rotation, and numbers of the “regular” team…
Easy
Papa Rev says, "Mini Rev, would you rather have 72 million dollars, or 80 million dollars? “80 million,” says Mini Rev. “So, would John Lackey.” And proceed from there.
No matter what happens from here on, it has been a great season.
I have been thinking about it and have come to several conclusions.
1) for 10 million more we could have had a 5th year ( almost half price of what we would have paid him per year for the 4.)
a. bad move FO
b. Lackey was done with Angels, and for equal money would have gone to the Sux anyway. (who knows?)
2) Matsui signing is pure business (as taken from the ideas presented here at H H.) , so F- U FO, I love VLAD!!!. He is so much more entertaining than Matspukey will ever be..
3) Figgy was low balled. I guess Sosh really didn;t want him back. I hope he is right.
by Wally's World on Dec 19, 2009 12:18 AM PST up reply actions
or i could say:
If two old men wanted 115 million from you and might fall apart before they did their jobs and you could replace them with 2 young guys for less than a million who would stay cheap for a long time and you always had the option to pay someone else part of the remaining $114 million to do that job, would you?
I think I can convince him that Vlad is learning to become a Jedi Master and that he had to leave because real lightsabers are illegal in California.
by Rev Halofan on Dec 19, 2009 12:49 AM PST up reply actions
Vlad = Jedi?
I can just see him swinging wildly at the Sith.
by TheKingfish on Dec 19, 2009 10:00 AM PST up reply actions
The blinder helmet...
is just part of that training. He’ll be able to use the Force soon enough.
by BruinHalo on Dec 19, 2009 12:02 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
Just tell him that the whole Santa thing is a sham first.
He won’t even care at that point.
Apologies in advance.
oops
you beat me to it.
"I know Lackey...let's have a spelling contest."
by autry's cowboys on Dec 19, 2009 10:35 AM PST up reply actions
Mini-Rev, my advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Thanks for the memories, John Lackey .............. now go fuck yourself!
I told my 13 month old
and she just laughed at me.
I think im doing something wrong.
What do you need a fancy suit for, Charlie, you ain't got no job to wear it to.
you can kind of go along the "where babies come from" vibe but...
instead of telling him him a man and woman really love each other they, yada yada yada. you can tell him that when a baseball player really loves money and the team they played for doesn’t like giving them as much money and their former team values compensatory draft picks to build up their farm system so they can maybe have lackey’s and figgy’s and vladdy’s (well not really vladdy) of the future. and then we wait until those newer younger players are older and do it all over again. also try to stay away from the evil scott boras players but we can wait for another day to talk about him.
My 12-year-old likes Torii Hunter and Eric Aybar fortunately but...
he really wanted us to pick up Doc Halliday…
(He has a point there…)
While you're at it you might as well break the news about Santa Claus.
"I know Lackey...let's have a spelling contest."
by autry's cowboys on Dec 19, 2009 10:34 AM PST reply actions
There's totally a Santa
They were able to prove it in a court of law in Miracle on 34th St.
by BruinHalo on Dec 19, 2009 12:00 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
Yeah.
This whole “no Santa” shit is a conspiracy.
Nick would be proud.
by halofan4life on Dec 19, 2009 12:13 PM PST up reply actions
i think the proper way to let a child know there isn't a santa claus...
is through a scott boras press release.
by thejd on Dec 19, 2009 10:51 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
After he has used the media to drive up speculation.
Nick would be proud.
by halofan4life on Dec 19, 2009 12:13 PM PST up reply actions
"Scott Boras here....ah kids, I hate to let you down but there is indeed no Santa Claus."
“He will remain a great part of our American culture and a folk-lore hero for generations to come. It just so happens that this Santa Claus fellow can be immediately upgraded by a man named Holliday just in time to make your season merry! His name is synonynous with Santa Claus, Christmas, and any other joyful occasions young sports fans celebrate. Mr. Holliday possesses strong religious values and can set an example for the youth of today on their path to achieving their goals!”
"All this in one strong promising package available to you for the outstanding value of just 120 million dollars over the next six years. That’s right folks, Uncle Scott will let you pay over a loooong…..time! To take advantage of this unique opportunity for my elite player please call (949) 760-0188 or stop by Scott Boras Corp at 3 San Joaquin Plaza, Suite 100, Newport Beach, CA 92660.
The 2009 Pregame Picks Winner and Iron Man of Halos Heaven.com
by 44FAN on Dec 19, 2009 11:29 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
The larger-than-life posters have been removed from the front of the stadium...
Just drove by over the weekend. That’s how my 5-year-old figured out that Lackey Figgy and Vlad are gone. He cried.
I love this team.
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