Lunch Thread: 2004, Long Ago...

Blood started leaking out of my ears when he proposed that managers or pitchers who intentionally bean get banned for a season to life, and that pitchers and coaches be liable lest they turn in managers who order beaning.

And after his exhaustive romp through fantasyland he admits that proof may be difficult, but if MLB deems beaning was intentionaly punishment should be swift… Intention can be proved how?!

Is this guy actually paid to string words together?

Bean ball is part of the game. If a player like “Big Baby” Youklis can’t handle it, maybe he shouldn’t play. As long as it’s not head hunting with fastballs I think it’s a vital part of the game. How else does the pitcher show the batters up? The batters show pitchers up all the time these days with their “stop and stare” and “bat flip.” Showing up the batter is for me, one of the most exciting parts of the game. Too many pitchers these days are afraid to throw inside, to own part of the plate. The threat that Lackey will nail a batters ass is one of the things I like about him so much. And let’s not even talk about Nolan Ryan! Shut up Douchewitz.

Besides, Youklis was probably experiencing roid rage.

"…the decision to throw at Youkilis was premeditated and deliberate whereas Youkilis’s response was unpremeditated and provoked."

Like the Tigers were never provoked? I like how Dershowitz conveniently leaves out the fact that Porcello was retaliating for Miguel Cabrera and Brandon Inge, who were victims of "premeditated and deliberate" plunkings by Red Sux pitchers in the previous night’s game. Don’t let messy things like facts get in the way of a good whine, Alan.