With apologies to E.L. Thayer... Without further ado:
The season wasn't brilliant for the LA Angel team
The outfielders were tragic and bullpen strength a wistful dream.
KMo was a low blow and 3B stunk from heaven
Our only happy hope was for the Summer of '11.
Yet comes a winter harvest, with FAs ripe to pluck
And arbitration eligibles, our small measure of good luck
The FO sought just winning, so often we were told
"Cash? It's not the numbers, we'll certainly be bold".
First TR tendered contracts, in this case neatly done
All worthy of nice money, that is save just the one
Arb-eligibles keep need at bay, strong players nearly all
But THE BAT, just one big bat, was our need, one hope, the call.
But on a pitch down in the dirt, our FO kept Jeff Mathis
His defense, naught but prem'um, will somehow save our Angel asses?
Then bullpen arms were signed, good lefties but low tier
A mere session in the cage, for sure the big boys were quite near
The Crawford's all but ours, just wait and you'll be thrilled
Our gaping maw of 7 suck clearly dearly filled
If not CC then a 3B, aging yet still hale
Only he can patch the Woody whale of fail
Strode our Ninja to the plate and sodden masses roared
The crappy AL West soon bitten by our sword
But Crawford came to pitch, he threw them hard and high
The Nats with him conspired, and now Werth was the sky
Ninja Reagins, lowball hitter, watched the pitches sail true
Then cried a girly cry when Sux closed where Ninja blew.
Slunk the Ninja to the office, no contract to his name
But surely it's the market, the FO is not to blame
Redemption though was in the air for Ninja's next at-bat
Beltre's offer was reported, strong and fair and fat
Ninja eyed The Boras, Scott showed an icy gaze
"AB's worth some money sure, a Werthian sort of raise"
But our want is large Dear Ninja, this guy's our Obi-Wan
And subsumed in our denial, we cheered the Ninja on
Boras threw a heater-a strike three, 5/90 pitch
And the Ninja simply crumpled, more pitiful than just bitch
So the Angels again are silent, and the team is barely changed
We're simply treading water, the deck chairs re-arranged
And though wish we will for one more Series Heaven
Mini TR has struck out, and GMJ still gets 11.