I've been saving this one for a rainy day.
If you asked Angels management why they tendered a contract to Jeff Mathis (and some privileged Old Media type should really get on that), they would probably say they did it because Jeff Mathis is a good major-league ballplayer. That is certifiable nonsense. Since no public documentation exists to disprove any of the following statements, they are all technically more rational explanations than the above:
- Arte Moreno is using Jeff Mathis as a fence in an elaborate money-laundering operation.
- Tony Reagins has already received several lucrative offers to sell Mathis's player rights to Japan.
- The Angels gave up on finding and marketing the game's "best" player and decided to sell its "worst."
- Every time a nice baseball player gets non-tendered, a cute little puppy dies.
- The Bill Bergen Foundation made Arte "an offer he couldn't refuse."
- Jeff Mathis is going to bring the NFL back to Los Angeles.
- The last position player who hit this poorly is pitching pretty well in the Dominican Winter League.
- Yesterday was Thursday.