Obviously resigning Rob Quinlan does not come without consequences. I fee it would be best for all Angel fans to pos what signing Rob Quinlan means right here. Here I'll start.
- Chronic Masturbation will no longer be frowned upon for Angels fans. This should aid in relieving the stresses of seeing Wood, Morales, Abreu and Rivera on the bench in favor of Rob Quinlan.
- Anyone wishing to try out for the Angels and occupy the spot on the bench known as "worthless lump" need only prove to Mike Scioscia that they can play worse defense in more positions and produce an uglier swing with equal to or less results than the aforementioned Rob Quinlan. Dumpy white boys preferred.
- Should the Angels make the playoffs, fans will be obligated to drink one extra celebratory beer because "we did it despite Rob Quinlan".
- For every base hit Rob Quinlan gets, every Angels fan will be required to state "A broken clock is right twice a day."
- For every HR Rob Quinlan hits, every Angels fan will be required to state one of the following, "You've gotta be shittin' me." or "Un-fucking believable". Laughing at the disgraced opposing team's pitcher will be required.
-In the event that Rob Quinlan scores multiple hits in one game, this will in effect prove two things. The first, Jesus Christ did in fact walk on water and the 2nd, major league pitchers do feel sympathy. Adjust your personal lives accordingly.