The Quinlan Rules for Angels Fans
by Halowood on Feb 11, 2010 10:58 PM PST
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PrintObviously resigning Rob Quinlan does not come without consequences. I fee it would be best for all Angel fans to pos what signing Rob Quinlan means right here. Here I'll start.
- Chronic Masturbation will no longer be frowned upon for Angels fans. This should aid in relieving the stresses of seeing Wood, Morales, Abreu and Rivera on the bench in favor of Rob Quinlan.
- Anyone wishing to try out for the Angels and occupy the spot on the bench known as "worthless lump" need only prove to Mike Scioscia that they can play worse defense in more positions and produce an uglier swing with equal to or less results than the aforementioned Rob Quinlan. Dumpy white boys preferred.
- Should the Angels make the playoffs, fans will be obligated to drink one extra celebratory beer because "we did it despite Rob Quinlan".
- For every base hit Rob Quinlan gets, every Angels fan will be required to state "A broken clock is right twice a day."
- For every HR Rob Quinlan hits, every Angels fan will be required to state one of the following, "You've gotta be shittin' me." or "Un-fucking believable". Laughing at the disgraced opposing team's pitcher will be required.
-In the event that Rob Quinlan scores multiple hits in one game, this will in effect prove two things. The first, Jesus Christ did in fact walk on water and the 2nd, major league pitchers do feel sympathy. Adjust your personal lives accordingly.
This Fan-Post is authored by an independent fan. Tell us what you think and how you feel.
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Laughing uncontrolably at the pitcher
should be the preferred reaction to any HR Q hits. Any pitcher who gives up one to him should also be required to cutrsy to each base as he rounds the infield. Lastly, The Angels should be credited with double points because of the incredible improbability of it happining. Triple if Willits is on base.
Fanatic: One who cannot change his mind and will not change the subject.
----Winston Churchill
Well now let's be fair
Willits got on base at a pretty good clip in his only extended playing time. Tell you what, if Q and Willits go deep in the same game, the Angels automatically win the series.
Good one on the curtsy.
No foolin'?
The only thing I remember about the 2005 ALCS is being incredibly pissed off at Josh Paul and especially Doug Eddings.
This is also the dark, moonless night on which my hatred of AJ Pierzynski was born.
"You gotta have nuts." - Torii Hunter / Part-Time Nemesis of the HH Reply Function
by Commander_Nate on Feb 12, 2010 8:45 AM PST up reply actions
No
He also made a very heads up play preventing aaron rowand from scoring in the same game. If I remember correctly it would have been an inside the park homer (or triple and an error?). It was a great play either way…
by AlohaHalofan on Feb 12, 2010 10:04 AM PST via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
Vlad air-mailed the throw from RF
Q was playing 3rd and cut the ball off from rolling into left field foul territory and threw out rowand at the plate. Even Joe Buck praised Q, had we won the game Q wouldve been panther of the game for sure.
by AlohaHalofan on Feb 12, 2010 10:13 AM PST via mobile up reply actions
I "fee" it would be best for
you to proof read before you publish your comment.
Q was not all that bad, asshole !
It's Always Somethin'
by Funke5ive on Feb 11, 2010 11:57 PM PST reply actions 2 recs
Agree
And, uh let’s see… Quinlan has been an Angel for, what, 5 seasons? It’s spelled Robb, people.
Scot it be
Who gets one T
Robb is he
Who doubles the B
Tape an aspirin on it
by Higz on Feb 12, 2010 9:41 AM PST up reply actions 3 recs
All aboard the Q-Train!
Sorry Seattle, 2010 still isn't your year.
by Teixeira Who? on Feb 13, 2010 12:59 AM PST up reply actions
I think you mean "asshol"
Just Another Halo Victory / Rory Markas 1955 - 2010
by LazorkoRules on Feb 12, 2010 7:13 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
Q has a jersey,
and you don’t.
since 1961
by Chompo on Feb 12, 2010 8:19 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
Well I was personally at a game in which Q had a multi-hit performance...
Stranger things have happened
When we win, I'm so happy I eat a lot. When we lose, I'm so depressed, I eat a lot. When we're rained out, I'm so disappointed I eat a lot. - Tommy Lasorda
by norcaliangelsfan on Feb 12, 2010 8:29 AM PST reply actions
Let's all be real for a minute
While this is a funny fanpost, Robb isn’t exactly a liability. How many Division Titles did he prevent us from winning? None.
In fact, I’d say he was able to contribute, at least a little bit, in pretty limited playing time. Sure he’s no superstar, but he’s capable of stopping a ball in the corner infield spots and has pretty much the same power as Mighty Mouse. Flippin’ relax – it’s not like we gave him $50 million over 5 years.
"You gotta have nuts." - Torii Hunter / Part-Time Nemesis of the HH Reply Function
Yeah. I don't understand all the Q hate, especially since its a minor league contract.
Q is the guy who’s a role player, and knows it, and does it damn well. He can come off the bench and be productive — and it’s pretty damn hard to be a productive pinch hitter.
Angels baseball. We do what we must, because we can -- HaloDutch
by red floyd on Feb 12, 2010 10:12 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Absolutely
Quinny’s stats are basically irrelevant due to the fact he was lucky to get 4 ab’s over the course of 2 weeks. Not that he DESERVED any more than that, and for what he made the last two seasons he seemed to be a waste of roster space. But as a minor league utility guy who could be up in a day in case of injury and is already integrated into the team culture, I think it’s a fine pick up.
Up until last season, I always thought 2010 would be the year Matt Brown became the new Quinlan. Now Q is the new Matt Brown.
Okay
I have to agree that having him in the minors as an insurance policy isn’t a bad thing. He seems like an ok clubhouse guy as well so I give apoligies to him for the mockery.
Fanatic: One who cannot change his mind and will not change the subject.
----Winston Churchill
I hate Robbbbbbbbbbb Quinlan
If anything for the carbon footprint that he adds to the team.
Thank you, Omar Minaya! Thank you, Mets (Vaughn, GMJ) AGAIN!
Yawn.
Your douchbaggary can’t hide the fact that you mancrush on a dude in his 30s inked to minor league deal.
What do you need a fancy suit for, Charlie, you ain't got no job to wear it to.
Robb Quinlan is still a better hitter than Jeff Mathis.
The 2009 Pregame Picks Winner and Iron Man of Halos Heaven.com
Halowood...........
I typically enjoy reading most of what you write here at HH.
“Anyone wishing to try out for the Angels and occupy the spot on the bench known as “worthless lump” need only prove to Mike Scioscia that they can play worse defense in more positions and produce an uglier swing with equal to or less results than the aforementioned Rob Quinlan."
However, for the life of me, I cannot understand why so many “feel” that they “know” so much more than Mike Scioscia.
Guys....
The post is just meant to be a joke. Any amount of spelling errors really weren’t relevant for me at the time. I just thought I’d take this opportunity to crack jokes at Robb Quinlan’s expense.
If you want to know my honest opinion of the deal, I hate it unless he’s down in the minors. If Robb Quinlan is in AAA then I am perfectly fine with this deal. But knowing Scioscia’s tendencies, I gotta believe Q’s going to have a roster spot, in which case I am firmly opposed to this deal.
But spelling things correctly is relevant to your readers, dude
Tape an aspirin on it
by Higz on Feb 12, 2010 4:26 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
The town idiot speaks again....
Who cares that we signed Q. Without him we only have one backup infielder anyway. Furthermore, its a one-year contract and a minor-league one at that.
There’s no infielder on the Bees with the exception of Brandon Wood who has really proven they deserve a roster spot. Maybe Freddy Sandoval but he is injury prone and has a lot of question marks…so another year of Q. No big deal. Its not like hes gonna play a major role anyways.
Let's make it "another halo victory" for Rory...
by BryanHarvey'sMoustache on Feb 13, 2010 1:05 PM PST reply actions
Isn't a "town idiot"
like a “town crier”? or a king’s jester? or like “the fool” in King Lear?
Babbling buffoonishly, yet underneath the seeming nonsense lies wisdom, social sarcasm and truths no one wants to hear?
Or by “town idiot” do you imply more the drunken homeless guy encased in cardboard and bereft of all reason?
Speaking of King Lear
There is something Shakespearean about this Q fanpost.
That would be the fact that I could use sparknotes’ help understanding it.
Sorry Seattle, 2010 still isn't your year.
by Teixeira Who? on Feb 15, 2010 3:02 AM PST up reply actions
Why do you talk about yourself in the 3rd person form?
You’re posting we already know the town idiot is sounding off, you don’t have to make us aware, I’m sure we’d find out immediately following the idiocy which spews forth from that gaping, flapping hole in your face.
What?
Sorry Seattle, 2010 still isn't your year.
by Teixeira Who? on Feb 14, 2010 12:46 AM PST up reply actions
unrec'd
"Precious in the sight of the Lord, is the death of His Saints." - Psalm 116:15 Rest In Peace, Nick.
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