Postcard from Chicago

I arrived in Chicago hoping it would feel a little like home – mostly because it’s an architecturally interesting city with a little history divided in two by a river, not unlike my home town of London (where I also live south of the river).  What I wasn’t prepared for was a comparison that stretched to near persistent drizzle, fighting in the stands at the stadium and some truly dreadful food – secretly, I think, Chicago wants to be London.


1. MOAR CHEEZCAKE PLEEZE – at the suggestion of RexTookMyStash and Firebird81, ahead of the game I though I’d check out the Magnificent Mile and Giordano’s pizza for lunch (which was an unholy mess of inedible rubbish, not unlike the meagre offerings at the stadium). 

And as I’m walking along on the sidewalk, Black Magic himself (in a very smart, well-cut brown striped suit) and Kendry (looking like he’d slept in his shambolic black version) walked straight past me going in the other direction.  I immediately start scrambling for my camera as they strode purposefully up Michigan and slip their way into The Real Cheesecake company for a spot of lunch before I can chase after them and start firing.  I thought it might have been uncool to chase after them into the restaurant at that point and let it go. 

However, bearing in mind their respective performances last night (7IP 0ER 6K & 3 for 4 with 2 RBIs)  I can only assume that Cheesecake is the sporting fuel of the Gods.  It should become a staple part of all pre-match meals – it may turn around our season.

In other news, Frandsen and Wilson don’t like cheesecake.

2. Rain rain go away – "And the covers are going on" is an announcement frequently heard at an English cricket ground, but this was a first for me at a baseball game.  There was a point last night when my 1000 mile diversion on a 4000 mile journey home was looking somewhat foolish.  

Fortunately, they got their shit together eventually.


3. Kendry spent the rain delay staring the rain into submission through the sheer strength of his cheesecake fuelled will, while putting on a gun-show for the rest of the bench.


4. He’s not the only Rev in the Halosphere – as I wandered around snapping and occasionally talking to people during the rain delay, I spotted this guy.


Check out the stitched name on the side of his cap.  Either he’s a thief or there’s more than one gospel being preached to the Halosphere.  He snagged one gift bestowed from on high later in the game in the form of a foul ball.

5. Once they finally started warming up I witnessed this exchange between Jonny Rivers and The Admiral.


Admiral – "We shouldn’t have to put up with this shit, it’s not going to get any better"

Juan – "It’s just rain"

Admiral – "I was talking about Frandsen"


6. Meanwhile, elsewhere in the park, Hatcher was dishing out some last minute advice to the catcher


Wilson – "So with all this rain about do I have to adapt my approach with the bat?"

Hatch – "Yup, just flail hopelessly at every damn pitch, it’ll confuse the hell out of them"

Wilson – "Gotcha"


7. Now, moving on to their cheating sack of shit catcher, I have to say his was without doubt the most popular replica shirt in the stadium. 


I can only assume this was the cause of the mass-brawl in the right filed bleachers during the 6th inning, when the spirit of Pierzynski took over the souls of those wearing the jerseys and they felt compelled to beat each other half to death in disgust at their own awfulness.


Caption competition - fill in the black space… I'm going with "Fishes"


8. Nevertheless, a minor 8th inning heart attack notwithstanding, all was right with the world at the end of the day.  I caught the Fuentesaur’s post-game interview, and can only assume that the new moustache means he’s running for some kind of office (God knows we need a leader somewhere in that abortion of a bull-pen).

   Fuentesvspedro_medium Pedrovsfuentes_medium


Pedro and the Fuentesaur - Vote Fuentesaur! 

So that’s it – 3rd game on the spin that I’ve seen Ervin start, another city covered and Just Another Halo Victory.


Your overseas correspondent signing off, till next time.

The Limey

(p.s apologies to Zu and The Optimist for failing to capture an "Unspeakable amount of Beatdown" picture, but I was so hosed by the end of the game I clean forgot)

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