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Tonight I Played Poker With Jose Canseco

Canseco_medium

(L-R) Rev Halofan, a blond actress who made the final table, Annie Duke (standing), Jose's date who did not play cards, Jose Canseco. Photo by Missus Halofan.

I played poker in a charity tournament Saturday night with Jose Canseco. I got into three hands with him:

  1. From a stack of 1,500, I took 1,200 of his chips in a hand when I flopped 2 pair, he was chasing a straight and missed, raised me on the river, though, he knows how to play.
  2. I flopped trips on low pair and he had two pair after the turn, one being an Ace, and I got 1,600 of his chips from his 1,000 chip shortstack rebuy from which he proceeded to steal some blinds and take a legitimate hand.
  3. He went all in for 375 after flopping a nut flush and my pair of kings on a rag board were crushed. He busted out two hands later and split, didn't even stick around for the post 3rd round add-on.

So I got a net of 2,425 in chips from Jose Canseco. I did not ask him to retract that 1986 statement about Wally Joyner not being able to carry his jockstrap but a little vindication on Wally's behalf was carried out.

From 7 tables, there were 2 and I finished 14th, out of the money/prizes. When the tables consolidated, I got seated at a table with Annie Duke but did not go up against her before my trip 4s lost to a straight on the river.

Canseco was mellow, knows his poker, likes to throw chips around and get in hands. He chases, bluffs, bets more than he checks and does not have a "bad mojo" vibe at all. He was still buff, not fat, and his date had more plastic inside her bra than all the poker chips melted down would have added up to.

All of the money went to a good cause, the Edgemar Center for the Arts in Santa Monica. My friend Mike Napoliello is one of the center's patrons and he entered me into the tournament - Thanks MIke!

Annie Duke cracked someone's aces with her Ace King at another table, she was all giddy about it and came and told the poker pro at our table. There was a "celebrity" and a poker pro at every table, I didn't catch the name of the cat in the Full Tilt hat at mine but he was patient and cool. Jose was our table's celebrity and he was there to win. The guy who played Mini Me and Camryn Manheim from The Practice teeve show (this according to a watchful Missus Halofan) made the final table. Top prize was a trip to Vegas, HA, just got back from there two nights ago!

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The fact that you WON money from Jose Canseco...

is effin awesome and might be the best thing I have ever read on HH.

red colors and jaded pasts...

by BryanHarvey'sMoustache on May 23, 2010 1:40 AM PDT reply actions  

JOse has money?

"Fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless" - Kenny Powers

by DAD OF VLAD on May 23, 2010 10:41 AM PDT up reply actions  

Do a search on e-bay for Jose Canseco

He has a lot of bids……..NOT

I actually don’t hate Canseco, but I wish I could stab Mcgwire in the neck/eye-balls with a rusty screw driver !

It's Always Somethin'

by Funke5ive on May 24, 2010 1:41 AM PDT up reply actions  

Very cool

that pushes you to within six degrees of separation to just about everyone in the sports world

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.

by Moondoggy on May 23, 2010 4:24 AM PDT reply actions  

I might have tried to throw him off of his game by asking him how he knee was....

Mike- “Hey Jose how is your knee?”
Roids- “What knee?”
Mike- “You know the one you blew out when fighting. You remember walking to the ring with a baseball bat in your hand. Then that dude that was like 7 foot tall was right in front of you. Then he hit you a couple of times and you went down with a knee injury. How is that knee?”
Roids- “I did hurt my knee.”
Mike- “I know that is why I am asking how it is.”
Roids- “Good, thanks for caring.”
Mike- “Oh I don’t care I just want to see you get in a ring again and get pummeled.”
Roids- “F*** YOU Man. Why don’t I just……”
Mike- “ALL IN…. You got the balls or are you just going to sit there bumping your gums?”

This is my fantasy….

"F@&* it, lets pitch"
-Ervin Santana

by pendletonmike on May 23, 2010 7:36 AM PDT reply actions  

Or....

Mike- “Hey Jose I saw that documentary that you were in. It is a classic.”
Jose- “What documentary?”
Mike- “Mail Order Bride?”
Jose- “What the hell is that?”
Mike- “You don’t remember the guy who paid to have a girl fly here from Thailand or something.”
Jose- “I don’t think I was in that one.”
Mike- “Yes you were, that perv of a father was drooling all over you. They were going to borrow your boat. I remember you telling them not to mess it up. Then you asked them how much they were going to pay you because you needed the money now.”
Jose- “What are you talking about?”
Mike- “Mail Order Bride, you should watch it because your in it.”

"F@&* it, lets pitch"
-Ervin Santana

by pendletonmike on May 23, 2010 7:41 AM PDT reply actions  

Two things

1. THANK YOU for vindicating Wally.
2. His name REALLY isn’t Mike Napoliello, right? Seriously, it’s not. Unless Nipples flew back from “Red Bird City”, through on a Luigi-type moustache, slicked his hair back and used really poor Italian and wa-la…MIKE NAPOLIELLO!

by Sethy on May 23, 2010 7:49 AM PDT reply actions  

high five to Rev!

Camryn Mannheim is big in the celebrity poker world. No Jennifer Tilly?

by ladybug on May 23, 2010 8:26 AM PDT reply actions  

fixed it for you
Camryn Mannheim is big in the celebrity poker world.

"If we can put four quarters together, that's the objective. Let's see how somebody else feels playing from behind." (TWCS)

by norcaliangelsfan on May 23, 2010 10:05 AM PDT up reply actions  

She's a Banana Slug -- class of '84, just like me!

Go Slugs!

Angels baseball. We do what we must, because we can -- HaloDutch

by red floyd on May 23, 2010 6:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

Mini Me = Vern Troyer

Angels baseball. We do what we must, because we can -- HaloDutch

by red floyd on May 23, 2010 9:08 AM PDT reply actions  

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