Or: Explaining the Scioscia/ Mathis Love Affair

This is the Image we all saw of Moreno hiring our new GM:

But what we missed was the story of how this came to be and why Arte had to hire DiPoto. 
What we didnt know was that Arte Moreno had recently uncovered Jeff Mathis' secret.

Close up:

Jeff Mathis is a Vampire.  That is why Reagins, the mere mortal he is, was unable to kill Mathis and needed to be replaced.  So Arte and Co. took off on the road to find the biggest, baddest Vampire slayer around.  Friedman was a great baseball mind, but he lacked the knowledge of how to kill the immortal so Arte passed on him.  He did however, refer them to Omar Minaya, a good Vampire killer.  After a brief interview, however, Minaya informed Arte the best vampire slayer in the world was....

Jerry DiPoto, Vampire Killer.

So Arte Moreno and his associates of geniuses called up our new leading man and informed him of our predicament.  "We have been troubled by this problem for 6 years, Mr. Dipoto.  We need to get rid of this Vampire and we are helpless to do it without you.  Name your price and we will pay it."  Dipoto considered the circumstances for a minute and decided he was in.  He would help kill our vampire menace. 

Little did Dipoto know, that behind the scenes, Mathis- the once most promising catching prospect not named Joe Mauer had not always been a vampire but had become one late one night after a team meeting when meeting with the vampire king.  Mathis' ability to hit a baseball had been sucked away along with his humanity and he was left to feed on the lifeblood of his team led on by the king vampire...