You dreamed of reading this.
Let's go over everything that has happened since the season ended on September 28:
- Chowdz eliminated.
- Tony Reagins resigned.
- The Yankees lost in the playoffs.
- Bunt-whining Justin Verlander and the Tigers lost in the playoffs.
- The Rangers lost the World Series after twice being within one strike of their first world championship.
- In hiring Jerry Dipoto, the Angels avoided hiring Omar Minaya.
- Dipoto hired what appears to be a great team of administrators.
- Erick Aybar wins the AL SS Gold Glove
- Turns out a General Manager actually talks to the press? Who'da thunk it?!?!?!
- A suitable replacement for Jeff Mathis was acquired in the person of Chris Iannetta.
- Out of his depth sportswriter Lyle M. Spencer is reassigned from covering the Angels for the team website.
- Mathis was then traded for an actual AAA player with a smidgen of upside.
- LaTroy Hawkins signed for one year, $3 million.
- C.J. Wilson.
- Albert Pujols.
- 4,200 fans attend an outdoor press conference and boo an ESPN faux reporter bimbo who asks a stupid question.
- Turns out that Arte and his wife are Lars Von Trier fans!
And 70 days to spare before pitchers and catchers report to spring training...