Angels Offseason Dream Checklist

You dreamed of reading this.

Let's go over everything that has happened since the season ended on September 28:

  • Chowdz eliminated.
  • Tony Reagins resigned.
  • The Yankees lost in the playoffs.
  • Bunt-whining Justin Verlander and the Tigers lost in the playoffs.
  • The Rangers lost the World Series after twice being within one strike of their first world championship.
  • In hiring Jerry Dipoto, the Angels avoided hiring Omar Minaya.
  • Dipoto hired what appears to be a great team of administrators.
  • Erick Aybar wins the AL SS Gold Glove
  • Turns out a General Manager actually talks to the press? Who'da thunk it?!?!?!
  • A suitable replacement for Jeff Mathis was acquired in the person of Chris Iannetta.
  • Out of his depth sportswriter Lyle M. Spencer is reassigned from covering the Angels for the team website.
  • Mathis was then traded for an actual AAA player with a smidgen of upside.
  • LaTroy Hawkins signed for one year, $3 million.
  • C.J. Wilson.
  • Albert Pujols.
  • 4,200 fans attend an outdoor press conference and boo an ESPN faux reporter bimbo who asks a stupid question.
  • Turns out that Arte and his wife are Lars Von Trier fans!

And 70 days to spare before pitchers and catchers report to spring training...

Merry Christmas.

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