(Clicky and view)
The highly scientific results are in, and the seeding has been processed through intensely technical machines resulting in one of the most precise outcomes in modern history. What you all thought were mindless, pointless questions were actually finely tuned social tests focused on placing certain people in certain places.
For obvious reasons Halowood came out on top.
-Of Macier and Men's- Halowood's first round matchup with JohnSamo will be nothing less than a struggle for what should be the front runner throughout these HH playoffs. As neither of these posters are even allowed to participate in this event whatsoever I am relying on the HH community to make the case *for each blogger in this matchup*. Find your favorite Halowood posts (by him, not about him) and your Samo posts and fire away. Then the voters can decide who they absolutely love more.
Besides the title fight we have some other interesting matchups in the first round:
- Juggernaut *Matt Welch* faces off against the young gun *Canard* in a battle of intellectual superstardom. I think this one is way too close to call and I will take great pride in refereeing this slobberknocker.
- *2pintsofbooze* faces off against *pattimelt* in what can only be described as the battle of the two things I usually love to have at 3am on a Sunday.
- *WiHaloFan* is going to be against not one but TWO rookie superposters in the combined form of *Big KGame 2448* (if you cannot figure out who they are the Rangers blog is just a few clicks away there sparky). I've seen WiHalo take on two dudes before but this should prove to be a much more challenging affair.
- *red floyd's* keen observation of HH meme's landed him in a less than savory matchup with our local shenanagins/hijinx lover *Mayheminthehood.* All I can say about this matchup is: wear your diapers, shit will get real.
- I myself am facing off against the baby machine *DADOFVLAD* which will prove difficult if he gets bonus points for every child he not only has but can produce while the voting is taking place. If each kid gets a vote I may as well forfeit now.
-Each matchup the participants will state their case (if any) as to why they should get the vote over their rival. It could be anything from a post war against that person that they clearly won to a picture of a goat, it does not matter. Make your case, win your matchup, moonwalk to victory. -
(Screw that rule, go crazy)
And reminder: The prize will be a night out with me. I in no way can guarantee I will be alive/not in jail/not in the hospital by the time this is all over, but if I am relatively alive/not in jail/healthy(ish) then a shot of tequila on me is your prize. You want something better? Too bad. You won the most wanted award in the blogosphere, shut your face.
Matchup 1, Round 1:
Halowood vs JohnSamo (HH community aided)
Friday, December 30th, 12:00pm PST.
John Samo entered the ring just a bit too old for Halowood's younger, fresher body. With Halowood's apparently hot girlfriend in his corner (yeah, I know the world is unfair) he ran circles around old Samo, fluffing literary punches at his face with all the power of baby puppies. Post after post rained down upon Samo; crammed full of angst, martyrdom, and general douche-baggery. George Kaplan relived waking in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat over great fears that Halowood's death threats might one day come true. George, you see, watched Braveheart exactly 902 times over the years (to be fair, who hasn't, thanks TNT) and was convinced that the scene with the horse busting into the bedroom a studly Mel Gibson atop its back, intruding only to murder the previously sleeping victim would repeat itself in Mr Kaplan's sleeping quarters..... but with a truck, and Halowood riding atop.
John Samo gave a little fight, lamenting on the iron fist regime of Rev Halofan and his non-nonsense control of the humor on the site, however, in the end it was all for naught. Halowood delivered a devastating blow and as Samo fell to the mat his last, fading vision, was a smiling puppy with blue sparkles behind him.. the words "Hurr Durr" echoing in his head.
Matchup 2, Round 1
red floyd VS Mayheminthehood
Saturday, December 31st, the last of 2011.
(running until the 3rd to accommodate hangovers)
This matchup was highly anticipated and red floyd did not back down from the challenge. Among the smattering of hilarious self pics Mayhem posted in attempts to win over the voting community there was a singular post that brought RF the victory. The 24 point post simply entitled "OK guys, Here's my shot." showed floyd's A game and pushed him that little extra needed for the win. The thread got long, awesome, and in the end Mayhem just did not quite rock the vote hard enough.
>>WINNER: red floyd<<
Matchup 3, Round 1
matt welch VS Canard
Wednesday, January 4th
polling ends 1/6/2012
For all intents and purposes this was supposed to be a matchup that one so one sided (well, in my mind) that Welch did not even have to show up to move on. Canard did not take his immense underdog-ness (whatever its a word now) laying down. The Might Duck threw up a post that is, by far, the best of the bracket to this point. Its epic "I dont give a F what you think of me, I am awesome" was perfect and in my eyes solidified Canard's place in HH for the future. Welch did show up, however, and if you love pictures of blond dudes drinking 40s, go visit the thread and relive the magic. Honestly, he had me at the flowing blond hair.
>>WINNER: matt welch<<
Matchup 4, Round 1
Phi Slamma VS DADOFVLAD
Friday, January 6th
polling ends 1/9/2012
Commander Nate VS opiejeanne
Turks Teeth VS Highland Halo
rghan VS DonoRomantico
2pintsofbooze VS pattimelt
George Kaplan VS Moondoggy
WiHaloFan vs BIG KGame 2448
cupie VS BrianHarvey'sMustache
Stirrups VS YETIJUICE
SubOptimal VS Halos in DE
ryanfea VS RexTookMyStash
Casey'sKissofDeath VS ladybug
RallyMonkey5 VS BigTizzie