Okay. Here we are. You reading this and me insomniacally writing it. You checking the internet for answers, me suckered into buying season tickets four days before Carl Crawford signed elsewhere. You checking StubHub to laugh at the deals, me smugly thrilled that my preseason prediction of 79 wins for this team will be seen as a wildly optimistic lurch. But forget the team, I have five questions for you to answer:

1. After about every third comment on the radio, Jose Mota makes an odd humming sound that seems to be asking for the approval of the person with whom he is conversing or implying that there is an insight to what he just said that should be apparent. The sound of this Mota-hum is a cross between a monotone hum and the hoot of an owl. IF Jose were Canadian, one feels he would be saying "Ehhh?!?!" in this spot. But he does his Mota-Hum. My question: How do you spell this hum? Tune in tonight and see if you can decipher the proper lettering...

2. Is it apparent to everyone else that Mark Gubicza was the last kid in school to listen to good music?

3. Is there a part of you that can take Victor Rojas calling a losing game better than you did Steve Physioc calling a winning one?

4. Will you be listening to AM-830's Rex Hudler Wonder Dog Show this afternoon? It is on 3:00 - 4:00 PM on Air-Crapino KLAA. Rex's guests will be Mike Sweeney and Mickey Hatcher. Will any of you call and tell Mickey that it is time to retire?

5. At tonight's postgame Taio Cruz concert, what will the ratio of hot bro-hungry chickage at their first Angels game be to the road-tested forty-something cougar that normally inhabits the Anaheim Stadium terrain?