The LA Times employs some dorkishly backward columnists and Bill Dwyre would be a finalist for the least stylish homely shut-in of the year award, but his slobbering worship of the selfish pig that is Derek Jeter was a new low point on the SS Titanic-Tribune of Chicago creaking downstream into obsolescence. The Times is desperately seeking google searches thru puff piece coverage of a player whose only talent has been to stay healthy and smile as he gets driven in by a more-accomplished teammate but it manages to break a sad story in this opinion piece: The Angels are planning a tribute to Jeter pregame before a matchup with the Yakees later this season.

WHAT? Woah there, this better not happen, this cannot be, this has to stop.