Boston Red Sox Fans Now Being Served the Karma Due Super Chumps

by Rev Halofan on Sep 21, 2011 1:51 AM PDT in COMICS

The Boston Red Sox have lost 15 of their last 20 games and their once comfortable Wild Card lead stands at 2 games over the Tampa Bay Rays and 3.5 Games over the Angels.

Every last Massholio and Chowd-sucking pink hat fanboy is being gut-punched by fate at this very moment. All of the smug superiority of the Fenway faithful and their ignoble bastardizing of the concept of the underdog is turning into a vat of acid in which they are trapped and disintegrating - team and fans alike melting into the hot liquid of karmic burn.

What is one to do during a display of the awesome force of karma against the ugliest fan base on earth?

There is something one must NOT do. One must NOT sit back. Revel in it firsthand by taking action. Now is the time, the day, the hour to lash out. NOW is the time to twist the psychological knife of hopelessness and cackle while looking straight into their fat faces that have no control over the fates.

After the disgusting display of snotnosed sore-winner syndrome that we experienced as they took over our stadium earlier this season, nothing on earth would make this season the grandest one of the past nine for Angels fans to then cheer on our team's taking away of the assumed postseason berth of the Boston Red Sox from their nation without us even having to let one of their bloated tubs of goo through the turnstiles of our fair field for a contest to see who should play in October.

Here are some pain-inducing articles for you to reference and link to as you post gleeful smackdowns on the social media pages of every one of your redsack-loving ~~friends~~ boors. Time to cut and paste these stories and talk all the smack you can poetically manifest. Hey, they love that dirty water anyway...

Bedard Served Papers by Yanks Fan
Erik Bedard gets served papers in a child custody dispute just before he is slated to start last night's game. Dude serving the papers was a process server.

Red Sox Exude That Old-Time Sinking Feeling
At the close of August, the Red Sox were in first place and sailing. Then came 15 losses in 20 games.

Curt Schilling Doesn't Want the Red Sox to Make the Playoffs
A rant about Big Mouth.

Curt Schilling on Red Sox chances
BigMouth Strikes Again

David Ortiz feels bad for Manny Ramirez
Once a needle-sharing roider, always a needle-sharing roider sticking up for the other butt.

Manny Ramirez: Where Did it All Go Wrong?
British newser rips the dreaded chowd wife-beater a new one.

Ric Flair
Old School wrestling goon tried to wake the Red Sox from their slumber. Didn't. Woo!

Tito deflects A-Gon Shoulder Qs
Adrian is gone alright. And soon so will the puddle of clam chowder from the Wild Card standings.

ANGELS WIN OUT AND TAKE THE WILD CARD - Face Yanks and force Texas to play Detroit.

Poll

Are the Boston Red Sox Fans responsible for the karmic meltdown of their team this September?

I do not believe in the supernatural except in this humbly gratifying case

83 votes

YES and I am burning old Tim Wakefield and Mike Greenwell baseball cards in case fate thinks that the contents of my attic actually reflects my fan loyalties.

56 votes

You call those drunk Fenway tourists fans? Can you dig a ditch to set the bar any lower over what constitutes a "fan"?

164 votes

303 votes | Poll has closed

Tweet Comment 53 comments | 1 recs |

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Comments

karma against the ugliest

Rev, You talkin’ to me?

by Funke5ive on Sep 21, 2011 2:08 AM PDT reply actions

Awesome.

You know what’s awesome-r? Rays have a double header today. I like the Rays and all but if “we’re still in this” our only hope is the WC (since the cocaine’s offense is unstoppable).

Representing the Angels in Sin City.

by maze88 on Sep 21, 2011 4:51 AM PDT via mobile reply actions

Sweet Caroline, bah bah bah!

I’ll continue to do my part to salt the wounds. Had fun last night trash talking a Chowd during pub quiz night. Didn’t need to do much talking during the 8th inning though…

He thanked me, and all Angels fans, for allowing Lackey to go to Boston and particularly enjoyed hearing the term “Sphincter Lips” during Papelbon’s gutty performance. Let the shithouse burn…

by Big Easy Halofan on Sep 21, 2011 7:06 AM PDT reply actions

I'm going to allow Nelson Muntz to speak for me...

If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?

by red floyd on Sep 21, 2011 8:06 AM PDT reply actions

Well played sir.

Official prediction: The Angels will win the AL west this season.

by RexTookMyStash on Sep 21, 2011 8:40 AM PDT up reply actions

All the projections give us a better wildcard than division chance....

…although combined the percentage playoff chance is about 2%. I guess we root for TB to split and Bosox to lose. I’m still rooting for Texas to lose, but we have to gain 2 games over the next 5 just to reach the final series in which we would have to beat them 4 straight times.

...on the road....

by Jack Kerouac on Sep 21, 2011 8:55 AM PDT reply actions

Shouldn't we be rooting for the Rays to lose both games today?

We need to surpass them and the chowds if I’m not mistaken.

Official prediction: The Angels will win the AL west this season.

by RexTookMyStash on Sep 21, 2011 9:11 AM PDT up reply actions

You're right, Jack is Kero-wack

Trust the Deception

by Rally Manatee on Sep 21, 2011 12:12 PM PDT up reply actions

CLASSIC! Sand in the collective eye of Chowd Nation.

Filthy, grotesquely-ugly, racist-to-the-core Boston and its starfucker, barnacle, Geisha-whore national fanbase. F You and Whitey Bulger!

"I'm Tony Reagins. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded."

by PieceOfAase on Sep 21, 2011 8:55 AM PDT reply actions

"Whaddidoo wrong?"

All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.

by Quad Fin Rider on Sep 21, 2011 9:06 AM PDT reply actions

He's probably moved on to blaming society.

Arte Went Biblical sounded nice until it was clear it didn't involve sitting the twenty-three million dollar man.

by snowhor on Sep 21, 2011 12:35 PM PDT up reply actions

I already thought, VW had that covered.

by eyespy on Sep 21, 2011 12:39 PM PDT up reply actions

RED SUXS

I take it you don't have the DOV Secret Decoder Ring
You need to drink more ovaltine
-Quad Fin Rider

by DAD OF VLAD on Sep 21, 2011 9:15 AM PDT reply actions

Red Sux burning out of their playoff chances would be almost as joyous as the Angels making it

by Dontbatvlad4th on Sep 21, 2011 9:43 AM PDT reply actions

Could this collapse be better than the Mets shanking 12 games in the last month a couple years ago?

I would have to say so…

F.F.F.

"Do you think we need one more...? You think we need one more... Alright we'll get one more"

by UMDfutbol11 on Sep 21, 2011 9:54 AM PDT reply actions

karma

Don’t be calling her a b because she will begin to haunt us….

Again

by Halos in DE on Sep 21, 2011 10:02 AM PDT via mobile reply actions

A funny quote I read at Over the Monster by Matthew Kory on the Red Sox woes:

At least we can all sleep at night comforted by the fact that when this hellish season ends we can just give Carl Crawford away to the Angles, who are composed A) 50% of money, and B) 50% of stupid.

"It's our money," owner Arte Moreno said.

by 44FAN on Sep 21, 2011 10:05 AM PDT reply actions

That's a very generous money-to-stupid ratio

by Suboptimal on Sep 21, 2011 10:44 AM PDT up reply actions

He's completely wrong there.

We’ll only take him if there’s less than 5 years on the contract. Those suckers are stuck with him for AT LEAST another two years.

by TheKingfish on Sep 21, 2011 11:12 AM PDT up reply actions

Nobody takes down the Sawx like Rev Halofan.

God help him if he ever has to spend time in Boston. Might need to hire private security.

"Lose your pants and only good things can happen."-MayhemInTheHood

by Mayheminthehood on Sep 21, 2011 10:09 AM PDT reply actions

Adrian's September

.328 .463 .609

Maybe Vern needs some shoulder surgery?

Lobotomy?

What do you need a fancy suit for, Charlie, you ain't got no job to wear it to.

by clover_black on Sep 21, 2011 10:39 AM PDT reply actions

Adrian is actually good........

There is still a chace until elimination.

by Angelsrthebest101 on Sep 21, 2011 1:41 PM PDT up reply actions

What kind of backwards ass day is it

when I’m rooting for the Yankees ?

Unlike this cat, my love for the LAA will never die.

by NathanielS on Sep 21, 2011 11:11 AM PDT reply actions

Ok ok guys

OK, guys, listen
Guys… guys, ok ok
All we need to do is
Guys, listen, guys
All we need to do is go like
guys, come on listen
All we need to do is go like 11-0 and have everyone lose every game then we have to like sweep Texas who is a better team then hope the Rays somehow both win and lose then forfeit a playoff spot

We got this.

I brought sexy back, but they only gave me store credit....

by PhiSlamma on Sep 21, 2011 11:24 AM PDT reply actions

Stranger things have happened.

Official prediction: The Angels will win the AL west this season.

by RexTookMyStash on Sep 21, 2011 11:40 AM PDT up reply actions

Boston plays 3 in New York this weekend

Our next 5 are against Toronto and Oakland with our 3 best starters going. Now through Sunday is the time to really get it done.

Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.

by Commander_Nate on Sep 21, 2011 11:47 AM PDT reply actions

Its time to give it up man

We would need to win out and have Boston and Tampa got sub .500. Its such a pipe dream at this point its silly.

I brought sexy back, but they only gave me store credit....

by PhiSlamma on Sep 21, 2011 11:50 AM PDT up reply actions

The Red Sox are 5-15 this month, the Rays are playing just about .500 ball in the same time frame.

And as Nate said, we’re about to face more Toronto and Oakland.

Is making at run at the wild card really that much of a pipe dream still?

Official prediction: The Angels will win the AL west this season.

by RexTookMyStash on Sep 21, 2011 12:05 PM PDT up reply actions

We're 4-4 against Toronto and 7-9 against Oakland.

Arte Went Biblical sounded nice until it was clear it didn't involve sitting the twenty-three million dollar man.

by snowhor on Sep 21, 2011 12:13 PM PDT up reply actions

Previous performance doesn't necessarily dicate future returns.

Official prediction: The Angels will win the AL west this season.

by RexTookMyStash on Sep 21, 2011 12:31 PM PDT up reply actions

Except for when you cite it for red sux and Rays?

Arte Went Biblical sounded nice until it was clear it didn't involve sitting the twenty-three million dollar man.

by snowhor on Sep 21, 2011 12:33 PM PDT up reply actions

Yes, we're incomparable.

Official prediction: The Angels will win the AL west this season.

by RexTookMyStash on Sep 21, 2011 1:01 PM PDT up reply actions

In that case, count me on board.

We got this.

Arte Went Biblical sounded nice until it was clear it didn't involve sitting the twenty-three million dollar man.

by snowhor on Sep 21, 2011 1:04 PM PDT up reply actions

Rays losing 4-2 in the bottom of the 8th. :)

Man on 2nd, one out with A-roid batting.

We got this.

Official prediction: The Angels will win the AL west this season.

by RexTookMyStash on Sep 21, 2011 1:17 PM PDT up reply actions

My point is that the opportunity is there for the taking, however small

It is possible, albeit remotely, that the Angels could be tied or 1 game up in the Wild Card standings by Sunday night. Then they’d have Haren, Santana and Weaver throwing the final 3 games of the year at home against Texas (who might be resting some players post-clinch at that point).

It’s unlikely, but it’s possible. As some other guy who was pretty good at swinging a stick once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” The Angels can make this really interesting if they don’t f**k it up…plus I need as many reasons as possible to justify going to the game on Sat.

Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.

by Commander_Nate on Sep 21, 2011 1:46 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs