2011 Angels: That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

The Angels are not contending for anything besides 2nd place in the AL West and the 5th Best Record in the AL. Quit saying they might contend. They are not contenders. I know you want to be a good fan and keep hope alive, but that joke isn't funny anymore.

First they broke our hearts by going on a losing streak in Oakland after the All-Star Break. Gotta admit, we were feeling good before that, Jered Weaver was starting the All-Star Game... even went out to Vegas for it... Me, Mayhem and Moondoggy in Vegas living the dream with Weav up on the big screen.

Then Texas came to town a month later and we had crawled close to contention and they were only ahead by four games with four against us in our home park. And we tanked. Heartbreak #2.

Then Mark Trumbo hits a walkoff in the final game against the Rangers and instead of 7 back it is 5 and there are over forty games to go... and we sorta sail in the fog three games and two games back, never dipping below four and a half, never getting closer than a game and a half. But it is September and we are playing meaningful games. Finally the Angels get kicked in the balls in Baltimore and we are finito in the West except for the Math. Heart broken a third time.

But wait... Boston is tailspinning and we could win tonight and be two back with 6 to play, all at home! Not content to just lose, these halos go into extra innings before breaking our hearts a FOURTH time this season.

I've had psychobitch exes who broke my heart and came back and broke it again and maybe dragged me around by D in order to lower my defenses so that they could break my heart a THIRD time, but this team, this collection of millionaire senior citizens, post-roid-era rookies and Lyle M. Spencer's proudest turd, Jeff Mathis, these sunzabeaches have managed to break my heart four times. Damn.

I've Seen This Happen in Other Peoples' Lives and Now It's Happening in Mine.

But that joke isn't funny anymore

It's too close to home
And it's too near the bone
It's too close to home
And it's too near the bone

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