Maicer Izturis Living Legend
On Tuesday, Maicer Izturis will turn 31 years old. He sure put another big candle on the this season's Halo pennant hopes Wednesday night!
The story of Maicer Izturis' birth is as interesting as his ascension into the Angels pantheon and the affection fans of his have shown on Halos Heaven with innumerable, inevitably sublime nicknames.
Maicer is the brother of Cesar Izturis. Unlike Bengie Molina and Jose Molina, the Izturis brother were not born eleven months apart. The Izturis brothers were born seven months apart. You see, Maicer's dad is a deliveryman in Venezuela, He would be gone on his route for days, sometimes weeks at a time before returning to the wife. The road is a lonely place and one day he brought back an unexpected package home. It was the infant Maicer. Nobody ever publishes Maicer's mother's side of the story, but suffice to say, Cesar's mother was ...uh, fucking pissed off.
But, bless her soul, she took in the baby (much more warmly than Pops, who slept on the porch for two years) and raised him as her own with his brother. The two boys grew up consumed with dreams of big league baseball and you cannot be human without being touched by their tale of reaching the bigs.
But it doesn't really stop there. Maicer Izturis has established a silent legacy with the Angels. In addition to being the god of clutch in last night's come from behind victory, his four plate appearances Wednesday moved him past Devon White into 30th place on the All Time franchise list for PAs with 2,431. The only active Angel with more visits to the batter's box wearing a halo is Howie Kendrick. His double last night was his 126th, ranking 19th in Angels history. Rod Carew is 18th with 140 doubles. That's 14 more doubles in 1,100+ more PAs and almost 200 more games.
And for you WAR fanatics, his 12.9 WAR before last night's game was just ahead of Torii Hunter's 12.3 with only a hundred more PAs favoring Izturis. His 2.6 Defensive WAR matches Dick Schofield's mark in Anaheim in only 60% of the playing time as the great 1980s shortstop.
While the oft-mentioned August 1995 injury to a for-once-hot-hitting Gary DiSarcina is invoked repeatedly as the reason the Angels blew their season and one-game playoff, Izturis' injury in late 2008 sealed the fate of the Angels in the 2008 LDS when another switch-hitter would have worked wonders. Fast forward to last night and Mariners manager Eric Wedge leaves a gassed Charlie Furbush in to face what looks like a midget with the tying run on 2B, the go ahead run at 1B and the inevitabile switch to the Left Side of the batter's box by the switch hitter. Instead of the longed-for double play... cue comic book: it is an Emerald City bitch-slap all the way to the wall, Clutch God exists to destroy sabermetric atheism.
It has all added up to an Angel who gets a lot of love here on Halos Heaven. Here on the oldest archived Angels blog are the relics of our collective love of that little love package from deep in the Venezuelan jungle... Here on this blog, the man with the unique two-name combo (Mario + Cesar) is the man of many nicknames...
'ztu - First used on the Chronicles of the Lads Blog in June of 2005 and a few days later in THIS Game Thread.
Izzy - First used in July of 2005 by Rex Hudler on air, as recorded in THIS Game Thread by cupie.
Izzy Pop - It was September of 2006 when yeswecan dropped this rockstar allegory into THIS Game Thread.
Izzy Stardust - It was TheOptimist (legendary for an Izturis Avatar for years as the token Angels fan posting at Lookout Landing) comparing Maicer to David Bowie's favorite Alter-Ego in THIS May, 2008 Game Thread.
The Miceman - THIS Game Thread comment by cupie in July of 2005 evoked Henrik Ibsen's masterpiece of nihilism The Iceman Cometh. After many clutch hit over the years, Game Threads have challenged 20th century theater history to rise to the level of excitement as the moments where THE MICEMAN COMETH.
Mighty Maicer (a favorite term for Maicer of Rex Hudler's back in the day) - It was THIS June, 2008 Game Thread where HawaiiHaloFan35 echoed Hud's comparisons to the mythical Mighty Mouse (which has also been a popular name of Maicer's over the years).
UPDATE: Just added one based on reading the comments here: The Great Gazoo, which started off as Kazoo, mentioned in THIS awesome discussion of Maicer nicknames from the summer of 2007. Gazoo was a character from the Flintstones and the doppleganger effect was unmistakable once pointed out by K3YEROUT.
Pharoah - Read all about yeswecan's revelation in October, 2006 of how a scientific recreation of King Tut's likeness based on catscans of his mummy revealed a face that looked exactly like the greatest utility infielder in Angels history, and we are not talking Chone Figgins. This led to a variation on the theme that you will read in these parts often: Boy King and many a Steve Martin King Tut SNL screen shot.
And of course, the NC-17 classic: MICE TITS. From whence did it emanate? On THIS September, 2005 thread, Matt Welch of all people asked a question and cupie answered it...
Leading to many questions like THIS by proletariat throughout the 2006 season.
And there you have it. Bill Stoneman turned a suspended Jose Guillen into Juan Rivera and The Clutch God of Nicknames in November of 2004 and here it is, 6 years and 10 months later and there isn't enough valium in Texas to stop the anxious mountain of worry forming over in Arlington.
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Great tribute to Maicer
Maicer Izturis career slash line with RISP- .311/.380/.449- CLUTCH
Never realized he's played so much
Guy is an Angel as much as Howie or Jered. I’m glad Sosh has been able to give him the rest he needs to stay healthy this year.
I’m just surprised this wasn’t titled “Of Maicer and Men.” Because he is clearly more than a man.
R.I.P. Nick Adenhart - Always an Angel
...Did I really come up with that? Wow.
#34 Forever
Plugging the upside since 2006.
Never give up, never surrender!
Nice write up, Gazoo is the Boy King of Clutch Tits
"Ballplayers play baseball. Hrrmmmff." -Jose Mota
I hate the Mice tits nickname so much (no offense to Cupie)
All the others are awesome.
Defending maligned chants since 2009
Do you find it offensive? Lol
Representing the Angels in Sin City.
by maze88 on Sep 8, 2011 9:43 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Somewhat, yes
I hate the word “tits.” It’s not more offensive than plenty of other words, but that word just bothers me for some reason. And I hate using any kind of vulgar word in someone’s nickname. There’s a guy I used to play softball with, and a couple of guys very matter-of-factly called him “Bitch” as a nickname. I just couldn’t bring myself to do that.
Defending maligned chants since 2009
So Dick Schofield=Richard Schofield?
"Lose your pants and only good things can happen."-MayhemInTheHood
by Mayheminthehood on Sep 8, 2011 10:09 AM PDT up reply actions
Pussy Galore = Vagina Galore?
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Sep 8, 2011 10:16 AM PDT up reply actions
Dick is an actual non-offensive name. The name of my grandfather, to be honest.
I know you’re just being sarcastic now, but I figured I’ll play along.
Defending maligned chants since 2009
What about the dude from D.O.A., Joey Shithead?
Just kidding, dude. You sound like a gentleman…much more than I can say for myself. Or most of the men I know, for that matter.
"Lose your pants and only good things can happen."-MayhemInTheHood
by Mayheminthehood on Sep 8, 2011 10:27 AM PDT up reply actions
I'm old school in a lot of ways
But I have my immaturities, just like any guy. I have no problem calling Ian Kinsler a giant douche, for example.
Defending maligned chants since 2009
Pretty much everyone's grandpa's name
In fact, counting my relations by marriage, three out of my four grandtathers were or are named Dick.
Bet you’re glad you know that now.
R.I.P. Nick Adenhart - Always an Angel
It's interesting to me
That such a popular name, even one that’s been popular fairly recently, could so quickly turn into a widely used epithet. I mean, with most people under 20, there’s no way you could use the sentence “My grandpa, Dick, used to build his own boats” without drawing a round of muffled laughter.
Defending maligned chants since 2009
I hate the word...
“horny”. For some unknown reason that word just bugs me.
And now back to your regularly scheduled baseball talk.
I know several girls who absolutely hate the word moist
something about that word really gets to them. so I try to incorporate it into every sentence I can, which is surprisingly easy to do. :)
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Sep 8, 2011 10:58 AM PDT up reply actions
It's apparently the most unliked word in the english language
Something about the descriptor and the way the word “feels.”
R.I.P. Nick Adenhart - Always an Angel
That and 'plump'
That tends to get the same reaction
I see red people
by The Limey on Sep 8, 2011 12:07 PM PDT via iPhone app up reply actions
and apparently the word
moist. Gets a weird flinch every time it’s mentioned.
"Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." ~ Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
Angels 2011 W-L record with the alternate red jersey: 17-11
Even when you get moist towlettes with your BBQ ribs?
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
When followed by "towelette"
Or however it’s spelled, it’s acceptable. Because then you’re not thinking about clammy skin.
R.I.P. Nick Adenhart - Always an Angel
understandable
But just so you know, “tits” is used here to mean something great and fantastic. Which they are — and he is!
+1 on the awesomeness of tits
can’t be over-stated
I love this team.
by Downing Rules on Sep 8, 2011 12:45 PM PDT via iPhone app up reply actions
There are few things more tits than tits.
Only 2 things come from Texas, and I don't see any horns.
by Halo Hurricane on Sep 8, 2011 1:00 PM PDT up reply actions
Oh I know why it's used that way
And I love breasts, too (my wife’s, anyway). Just hate the word. Everyone else is free to use it as they see fit.
Defending maligned chants since 2009
thanks
tits tits tits
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Sep 8, 2011 2:26 PM PDT up reply actions
Does anyone know how much milk you can get from a mouse tit?
by TheGodofRuns on Sep 8, 2011 9:14 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Infamy! None of those 'stats' are possible!!
Not only must we define mathematical models which refute any possibility that Izzy has an inate ability to deliver a key performance when it is needed most and opportunity presents itself, but we also must stick to the meme that Izzy never remains healthy long enough to accomplish career goals.
Against stupidity the very Gods themselves toil in vain.
He has me confused this year.
He’s been healthier, but has had a lackluster season. So would I rather have healthy andcrappy Izzy or MadeofGlass and awesome Izzy?
"Lose your pants and only good things can happen."-MayhemInTheHood
by Mayheminthehood on Sep 8, 2011 9:57 AM PDT up reply actions
The BOY KING!!!
Now when he was a young man
He never thought he’d see
People lining up
To see the BOY KING!!!

If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
by red floyd on Sep 8, 2011 9:52 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
I go with Mice Tits. It's original, which is sort of rare as far as baseball nicknames go(although not so rare with the group of creatives we have here).
Mighty Maicer is So Rex Hudler…the guy whose other ideas for nicknames mainly involve adding an “O” or “-ey/ie” at the end of every name. ZzzZzzz.
I didn’t know Cupie made up Mice Tits, but that just solidifies that it’s the coolest nickname. Totally cool, never lame. (I also really like The Boy King, too)
"Lose your pants and only good things can happen."-MayhemInTheHood
by Mayheminthehood on Sep 8, 2011 10:02 AM PDT reply actions
Mighty Macier is pretty damned cool
"Its like when i’m right…i’m right… and when i’m wrong…i could have been right..so i’m still right cause i could have been wrong"-Chevy Clarke's Twitter
Izzy is always the player I would choose off the roster if I needed a hit in a clutch situation.
Luckily he was in the right spot at the right time last night and delivered.
"It's our money," owner Arte Moreno said.
great write up
seeing some of those numbers really opened my eyes to how important he’s been to the team during his tenure.
I’m too GA to look, anyone know how much longer he’s locked up for?
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
He signed a 3 year 10 million dollar contract in 2010. So we have him till 2013.
what angel game does not kill me, just makes my heart weaker
by snowball1813 on Sep 8, 2011 11:08 AM PDT up reply actions
thanks

"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Sep 8, 2011 11:31 AM PDT up reply actions
whoa thats big
my bad
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Sep 8, 2011 11:31 AM PDT up reply actions
Maicer = Mario + Cesar?
Did you hear or read that somewhere? Same question re: the backstory of him joining the family – did his dad really just come home with him one day?
SUPER EMPEROR IZTURIS
I wish I named my kid a matchup of such amazing names.
Luintony, for example.
R.I.P. Nick Adenhart - Always an Angel
LOVE this write-up. Thank you, Rev
Maicer is My Man, so I was particularly excited to read how significant his contribution has been to the team on a pretty consistent basis over a pretty long time! As big a fan I am of Izzy Izbourne, I was not aware that he had made this big of an impact. NICE!
And it turns out that the CORRECT answer to Matt's question back in 2005, is...
YES!!!
Against stupidity the very Gods themselves toil in vain.
Links are delicious for breakfast
http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/gameday/index.jsp?gid=2011_06_27_wasmlb_anamlb_1&mode=recap&c_id=ana
Coined by Figgins and reported by Lyle Spencer on one of his short breaks from his Mathis love fest.
I love this team.
by Downing Rules on Sep 10, 2011 6:05 AM PDT via iPhone app up reply actions
interesting...
i did not know figgins came up with it… that wasn’t the same article, but informative nevertheless
One time...

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