Matchup 10; R1: WiHaloFan vs BIG KGame 2448
by PhiSlamma on Jan 19, 2012 1:00 PM PST
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(Big Game 48 submitted his part. WiHalo is a jerk and sent me nothing, so I made him into a midget. This is why we can't have nice things, Wi.)
Doing the Bracket Dance:
(I am assuming Kaplan is going to win as of 12:07 when I am posting this. If it changes I will change the bracket.)
Let me be the first to say that this matchup makes absolutely no sense. Sure, at the time of compiling the bracket I thought it would be funny to put two newer posters (Big Game 48 and KB_24) against the Immovable Force that is the WHF. Since only Big Game emailed me his shizzle I can only assume KB_24 is going to act as a closer and bring the pain in the actual thread itself. Who knows how this is going to work, I sure don't.
The vote tallying is entirely ridiculous. It displays different totals literally everytime I check it, varying wildly. Could be vote bots, could be that SB Nation did not account for the fact that someone could be a bad enough dude to create an entire offseason series centered around a poorly programmed voting system. Could be space rabbits. Could be super LA insider Scotty Allen.
As of now Rev has still not used his Wild Card powers, which puts me on edge. I feel as if at any second he could burst out of nowhere like the Kool Aid man with more editing powers and bring the pain down randomly on some unfortunate soul. I have starting preparing for the Halowood vs DoV matchup, and I can safely say that one of the posters has absolutely no chance at moving on. Not going to name names, but DoV needs to step up his game... thats all I have to say.
The degeneration of this series into some sort of venting process to closely document my twisted descent into the oblivion that is my own mind is apparently popular. I received around 50 emails encouraging me to continue chronicling my personal adventures with each post in the series. I hope people are not expecting me to die at the end. We may as well call the bracket challenge "Phi Dies at the End, The Game".
Since the last post of drunken poetic ramblings not much has happened. Wine and Game of Thrones was enjoyed last night, culminating in a surprise visit from She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. A drunken discussion followed. TIll 5am. The woman has more issues than the X-Men comic books. My boner for chaos and unstable women remains resolute.
(Oddly, Google Image searches for "resolute boner" are entirely Not Safe For Work. Fair warning.)
I can hear you now:
"This is only going to end in disaster"
"Stop making terrible decisions"
"You know you like dudes, stop pretending you dont"
"Women don't satisfy your carnal needs, come to terms with yourself"
"The WNBA is actually enjoyable to watch"
Listen, voices in my head, I don't care what you have to say. I am going to try and change people who obviously have shown they cannot be changed. I'll fix it, damnit.
My next post will most likely be from phone, so it might be weak. If everything falls apart in dramatic fashion you can bet your ass a poorly worded diatribe will be posted somewhere. I have a totally not lame at all beer pong tournament Im going to be participating in on Friday, so wish me luck.
Big Game emailed (mrguyofstuff2@gmail.com) me this, so without further nonsense no one cares about, here is something that is actually relevant to your interests:
WHY ONE HALF OF BIG KGame 2448 IS AWESOME:
"As my vicious first round match up with WiHaloFan drew nearer, I gave some thought about how I would go about pulling off the colossal upset that would propel myself (and my partner KB24) into the Sweet Sixteen of the inaugural Halos Heaven Blogger Tournament. Several strategies crossed my mind. Maybe, I'll could come blazing down the ramp, spandex-clad, stand on the top turnbuckle and yell into the mike that I'm the biggest, baddest mofo in this arena. Or maybe I'll run a smear campaign in hopes of shamelessly plucking votes from the community by running Wi's name through the mud.No... Those weren't going to cut it.It didn't take long to realize the appropriate plan of action. I concluded that if I made a real effort to convince you all to vote for this HH rookie over a first-ballot Halos Heaven Hall of Famer like Wi, you would probably never take me seriously ever again. So instead I want to use this opportunity to praise the great community that is Halos Heaven. Collectively, you guys provide the perfect blend of knowledge, passion, history, and humor that cannot be matched anywhere else. I can only hope that my participation is appreciated in the same way that I value everything you all bring to the table on a daily basis..... My other hope is to draw a better seed in next year's tournament cause this one is fucked up.Wi, may your arsenal of Halolinks and cartoon wit take you to the promised land. Good luck the rest of the way.... Next year the gloves are coming off!Go Halos."
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Weeeeeeee!
Like ya Big48. Tough draw.
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry
Wisconsin....therefore the WHY?????
"We are the JeDi, the ultimate power in the universe. We will do as we choose. And we will destroy any who dare stand in our way."
Wih-SCON-sin
I lived there briefly. It was weird. And flat. But I liked Milwaukee.
"And that’s why to hell with the traffic, Diane, we’re staying until the end of the game, and that’s final." ~brokenyard, 8/18/11
Not where I was.
Fuh-lat. Lake Michigan was purty, though. I think up north there is some hilly country?
"And that’s why to hell with the traffic, Diane, we’re staying until the end of the game, and that’s final." ~brokenyard, 8/18/11
Is that the bathroom at the Minneapolis airport?
"Don't take life for granted, because tomorrow isn't promised to any one of us." -Kirby Puckett
"Tell Gardy there's nobody around to protect him now." Ozzie Guillen
by less cowbell, more 'neau on Jan 19, 2012 8:42 PM PST up reply actions
Gotta go with my man, BigGame48...
Just wait ’til you see my Haren shirt!
Winning doesn't matter. -Lyle
The comics rule and add so much to the HH experience
Jim gets the vote
"When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby."
That was a reference to one of the greatest things ever posted online
John Dies at the End which used to be a free read online and Im sure you can find it somewhere. I just realized its being made into a movie. Interesting.
"DOV all the way
Just compare the signature lines. Phi’s is terrible, just like his skidmark…errr…"mohawk". "
Former cohost of lunch time halo talk, author of hilarious comics, and purveyor of halo links.
Some kind of david and goliath action.
...
"One time, when we got back to the locker room, all of our clothes were gone," Trout recalled. "They left me a Lady Gaga costume and I had to wear it."
by 44FAN on Jan 19, 2012 1:49 PM PST reply actions 5 recs
He's laughing so hard he's crying. Again.
"You say this game go 9 innings...you lie!"
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 19, 2012 1:55 PM PST up reply actions
"Resolute" Boehner
"One time, when we got back to the locker room, all of our clothes were gone," Trout recalled. "They left me a Lady Gaga costume and I had to wear it."
"Look at me, I'm f***in' orange!!!"
Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.
by Commander_Nate on Jan 19, 2012 2:23 PM PST up reply actions
I think that I would choose Wi over myself
in a head-to-head match-up, that is how integral he is to this site.
but you are the spiritual leader
"One time, when we got back to the locker room, all of our clothes were gone," Trout recalled. "They left me a Lady Gaga costume and I had to wear it."
More like Cult of Personality
"Two-thirds of the Earth is covered by water. The rest is covered by Peter Bourjos" ~ markinca
"You say this game go 9 innings...you lie!"
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 19, 2012 2:02 PM PST reply actions
This is my favorite thing to ever be posted on the internet of all times evar.
"You say this game go 9 innings...you lie!"
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 19, 2012 2:02 PM PST up reply actions
To quote the poet John Rambo: Nothing is over! Nothing!
"You say this game go 9 innings...you lie!"
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 19, 2012 3:34 PM PST up reply actions
.... so stealing this.
"DOV all the way
Just compare the signature lines. Phi’s is terrible, just like his skidmark…errr…"mohawk". "
No more interwebz for you!!!!
SOPA sees all and knows all!!!!
YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE...
My vote is for Wii Halo Fan...
12/8/11!!! What a day!
by stuck in Romania on Jan 19, 2012 2:08 PM PST reply actions
This is pretty straightforward
Mattwelch vs WiHaloFan in the finals! I am voting to make that happen.
"I have something 95 percent of all those All-Stars only wish they had: a World Series ring. If I had to choose between that and being an All-Star, it would be no contest. I’d grab the gold ring and never look back." -Tim Salmon
I'm just chasing the ratings
Giving the people what they want to see.
"I have something 95 percent of all those All-Stars only wish they had: a World Series ring. If I had to choose between that and being an All-Star, it would be no contest. I’d grab the gold ring and never look back." -Tim Salmon
They were the only 2 challenges I saw in the brackets.
It’ll be rghan v matt welch and subop v wi
That’s a nasty competition, but the favorites are mattwelch and wi in those matchups.
Plus, mattwelch vs subop as a final would be two bloggers of similar style (in terms of fanposts). I like the apples and oranges you get with mattwelch and wi.
"I have something 95 percent of all those All-Stars only wish they had: a World Series ring. If I had to choose between that and being an All-Star, it would be no contest. I’d grab the gold ring and never look back." -Tim Salmon
I am going to ruin your dreams in the next round
Sorry in advance.
Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.
by Commander_Nate on Jan 19, 2012 3:10 PM PST up reply actions
Stirrups and DOV could be surprise winners...
and you never know which way vote bot swing things. I almost think that we have to vote opposite of what we want for it to turn out right.
12/8/11!!! What a day!
by stuck in Romania on Jan 19, 2012 3:15 PM PST up reply actions
If the Price is Right
I will They will know.
by eyespy on Jan 19, 2012 3:34 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
mY VOTE FOR WIHALOFAN BECAUSE THE PACKERS SUCK
SORRY Phi i dont know how i am not stepping up?
I will beat Halowood becasue he is really a texas fan
Forget Tebow
Andy Lee is the second coming of Jesus
-ME
Rum ham
I’m sorry rum ham!
"Two-thirds of the Earth is covered by water. The rest is covered by Peter Bourjos" ~ markinca
I voted for Wi, even though I know it's a guaranteed ass-kickng for me in the next round!
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
This is what's going to happen in this matchup, sorry about your bad luck BigGame
Unlike this cat, my love for the LAA will never die.
Damn, bro, show your bus pass next time!
But seriously, what’s the backstory behind this?
Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.
by Commander_Nate on Jan 19, 2012 2:41 PM PST up reply actions
I have no idea
I found it floating around twitter.
Unlike this cat, my love for the LAA will never die.
Guy in white shirt said that Yu Darvish will be the next Pedro Martinez, and give Texas all they need to win multiple titles.
"You say this game go 9 innings...you lie!"
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 19, 2012 2:53 PM PST up reply actions
So green shirt guy is Daisuke Matsuzaka?
Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.
by Commander_Nate on Jan 19, 2012 2:56 PM PST up reply actions
I think it's Moondoggy's neighbor. He's become a fan since Moon moved nearby.
"You say this game go 9 innings...you lie!"
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 19, 2012 2:57 PM PST up reply actions
It's a fantasy league baseball dispute from a few years ago.
The guy sitting down wanted to trade Vernon Wells to the kicking guy for Mike Napoli and Juan Rivera.
Either that or the guy sitting down told the other one his boner was hilarious.
After this off-season, I have no recollection of this Del Ninja character we used to discuss.
I was actually in a league one year that had a pretty serious dispute
It might have gone like this gif had the offended parties actually met in person.
Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.
by Commander_Nate on Jan 19, 2012 3:12 PM PST up reply actions
So what did you guys decide?
Hilarious boner or not?
After this off-season, I have no recollection of this Del Ninja character we used to discuss.
Dude, when is it not?
Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.
by Commander_Nate on Jan 19, 2012 3:33 PM PST up reply actions
You've obviously never spent time in a state penitentiary.
"You say this game go 9 innings...you lie!"
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 19, 2012 3:57 PM PST up reply actions
As long as you don't make eye contact, it isn't gay.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE...
I guess only when they're resolute.
Or in prison, as per mayhem.
After this off-season, I have no recollection of this Del Ninja character we used to discuss.
That dude meant business
Fucking hell, good thing I don’t live in the US anymore, instead only in the UK where I get my ass beat like this on a weekly, rather than daily, basis.
Don't call me Bugs. Although Bugs Bunny could do it all on the baseball field.
by highlandhalo on Jan 19, 2012 5:35 PM PST up reply actions
What is so funny about this?
That defenceless guy (he had his hands up) was viciously assaulted an could have been killed. No place on a baseball blog, thank you very much.
~ highland
Don't call me Bugs. Although Bugs Bunny could do it all on the baseball field.
by highlandhalo on Jan 19, 2012 6:12 PM PST up reply actions
I get the feeling he was giving the dame some shit
and the cop/military guy didn’t take to kindly to it. But still wrong, and yes, has no place on a baseball blog.
Then ask it to be taken down.
Didn’t intend to offend.
Unlike this cat, my love for the LAA will never die.
by NathanielS on Jan 19, 2012 7:25 PM PST via iPhone app up reply actions
DAD OF VLAD VS SubOp 2012
"Baseball is beautiful. It is the only sport in which you can fail 70% of the time and still be considered the greatest player"
by Halos2011champs on Jan 19, 2012 2:42 PM PST via mobile reply actions
Dammit Jim, I can only vote ONCE!
"We are the JeDi, the ultimate power in the universe. We will do as we choose. And we will destroy any who dare stand in our way."
No diss to the other guys, they are cool too
But we are talkin’ WiHaloFan here
CJ Wilson is OUR douche now!
I think it'd be bad form for me to campaign for votes
So I’d like to take this opportunity to say thank you to everyone in our HH family (and that’s everyone who spends any amount of time here) for all of your kind words. The last few months have been “interesting” in my life and I’m glad all of you here were here for me.
As sort of a fatherly advice-thing to Phi (and you other recently single guys), I’ve been spending my new, post divorce freedom doing what newly divorced 50 year-old geezers do…{insert BONERZ ARE HILARIOUS joke here} and I’ve learned it’s okay to think this, but never say it out loud:
Thanks!
by WiHaloFan on Jan 19, 2012 3:31 PM PST reply actions 4 recs
"These big vagina ladies are getting away with murder."
"You say this game go 9 innings...you lie!"
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 19, 2012 3:46 PM PST up reply actions 3 recs
adore that episode
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 19, 2012 4:08 PM PST up reply actions
Disgusting
in so many ways. I would like my son to enjoy this site at some point and I understand what you’re going through Jim, but c’mon.
Don't call me Bugs. Although Bugs Bunny could do it all on the baseball field.
by highlandhalo on Jan 19, 2012 5:31 PM PST up reply actions
I thought it was awesome
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 20, 2012 4:19 PM PST up reply actions
I'm a divorced 30-year-old chick,
and even I thought it was funny.
"And that’s why to hell with the traffic, Diane, we’re staying until the end of the game, and that’s final." ~brokenyard, 8/18/11
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 22, 2012 11:07 PM PST up reply actions
Newly divorced 50 year old geezers
Should visit Moondoggy in Thailand
Well, come see a fat old man some time!
How about dudes in their late 30's?
Because it sounds like fun!
YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE...
How about guys in their early 30's that are on the run from Johnny Law and need somewhere to lay low for awhile(Read: 15 years or so)?
"You say this game go 9 innings...you lie!"
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 19, 2012 9:03 PM PST up reply actions
I know a guy
When I flip a coin I dont say heads or tails, I say Halos or Spurs
by ItCouldHappen on Jan 19, 2012 9:10 PM PST up reply actions
Welcome to the Hotel Bangkok
you can check out any time you like
Well, come see a fat old man some time!
Phi, I seen that the bottom of your bracket is getting a little muddled with the edits
so I added some extra space for you to work on.
by eyespy on Jan 19, 2012 3:57 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Thank you sir.
"DOV all the way
Just compare the signature lines. Phi’s is terrible, just like his skidmark…errr…"mohawk". "
Big Game 48 came out of the gates as a more than solid contributer, and hasn't looked back since his arrival
but I still gotta go with Wi on this one. every time I log on to HH and see that a new comic has been posted I literally (figuratively) shart myself.
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
Big Game 48, as stated above, is a solid contributor.
But he is not the workhorse that is WiHaloFan. Wi gets my vote.
A wise man does not need advice and a fool won't take it.
Honestly I just want Yetijuice to resurface for his epic clash with Stirrups
I’d buy a new laptop to read that … hell, when is it available on Kindle?
Don't call me Bugs. Although Bugs Bunny could do it all on the baseball field.
Who gives a shit anymore?
This tournament has too many rounds.
down upon his head
When I flip a coin I dont say heads or tails, I say Halos or Spurs
by ItCouldHappen on Jan 19, 2012 6:56 PM PST up reply actions
I sent you an email, dude.
Need your opinion on nude pics something.
"You say this game go 9 innings...you lie!"
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 19, 2012 7:34 PM PST up reply actions
Its like March Madness
Interest is at its maximum as it starts and in the later rounds.
"DOV all the way
Just compare the signature lines. Phi’s is terrible, just like his skidmark…errr…"mohawk". "
Gotta vote Wi
He is glue that holds HH together in many ways
COMICS. Period. WiHaloFan has his own section/hall-of-fame for his work.
He’s still missed on Lunch Time Halo Talk.
Halolinks, the morning equivalent of having a newspaper devoted to Angels/MLB news front and center ready to go. No day is complete without a heaping serving of Halolinks.
"Two-thirds of the Earth is covered by water. The rest is covered by Peter Bourjos" ~ markinca
when I get to work and log on to my computer
the very first thing I go to is HH, and then straight to Halolinks. Before reading the links I go to the kitchen, get a cup of coffee and a bowl of oatmeal, bring them back to my desk, sip on my coffee while slowly spooning warm and soggy meal of oats into my mouth, and then finally read the Halolinks.
Once this ritual is finalized and I have placed my vote on whatever question Wihalo put into the poll that morning, only then am I ready to be a productive worker bee and contribute positively to the organization’s success.
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 20, 2012 1:46 AM PST up reply actions
This sounds strangely similar to my morning routine
Except mine includes a Ham & Cheese Croissant
"I was at a Del Taco, on the phone with Alex Anthopoulos, When the Drugs began to take hold…"
-- No Bologna Polonia
oh wow, I don't even remember writing this
2pints had more than 2 pints last night
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 20, 2012 4:19 PM PST up reply actions
We'll see. I don't think VoteBot has spoken yet.
"You say this game go 9 innings...you lie!"
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 19, 2012 11:34 PM PST up reply actions
I'm kinda digging VoteBot
He’s a dead-pull swing kind of hitter. An anti-Hatcher type.
"Two-thirds of the Earth is covered by water. The rest is covered by Peter Bourjos" ~ markinca
by blast21dave on Jan 20, 2012 12:55 AM PST up reply actions
I think VoteBot has spoken
Went and doubled the vote count for Wi.
"Two-thirds of the Earth is covered by water. The rest is covered by Peter Bourjos" ~ markinca
by blast21dave on Jan 20, 2012 12:44 PM PST up reply actions
Well this was a predictable shoeing...
…not even votebot, with all his whimsical might, can swing this one
I see red people
Guys, what are we gonna do when VoteBot becomes self-aware?
Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.
by Commander_Nate on Jan 20, 2012 9:54 AM PST up reply actions
Hope that a terminator from the future comes to save us?
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
How many zeros can you add to a bank account balance?
Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.
by Commander_Nate on Jan 20, 2012 1:33 PM PST up reply actions
I am literally placing my fingerprint on the screen right now
You can use that to get the info, right?
Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.
by Commander_Nate on Jan 20, 2012 1:58 PM PST up reply actions
If I put my credit card in my CD drive does that work
When I flip a coin I dont say heads or tails, I say Halos or Spurs
by ItCouldHappen on Jan 20, 2012 2:11 PM PST up reply actions
I once had to remove a credit card from a floppy drive
Good times.
"DOV all the way
Just compare the signature lines. Phi’s is terrible, just like his skidmark…errr…"mohawk". "
OT... Who's "BigTizzie"? Is she related to the Big Tizzle?
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
Be interesting to see if Big Tizzle shows up for his match
And see how soon till someone mentions Vernon Wells.
CONGER, CONGER, CONGER !!!
Lets just replace him with eyespy
F it.
"DOV all the way
Just compare the signature lines. Phi’s is terrible, just like his skidmark…errr…"mohawk". "
he bailed when he knew the VW onslaught was coming his way
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 20, 2012 4:22 PM PST up reply actions
So that is a yes, right?
"DOV all the way
Just compare the signature lines. Phi’s is terrible, just like his skidmark…errr…"mohawk". "
So, I could put you in
and you could make a case for people NOT to vote for you, this cant fail.
"DOV all the way
Just compare the signature lines. Phi’s is terrible, just like his skidmark…errr…"mohawk". "
So you're saying there's a chance?
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
Well, we need a replacement for Tizz
suggestions?
"DOV all the way
Just compare the signature lines. Phi’s is terrible, just like his skidmark…errr…"mohawk". "
eyespy should get it
Otherwise I think you would have to do a “qualifier match” between Phi and Mayhem to see who takes on Rally Monkey 5
CONGER, CONGER, CONGER !!!
Eyespey or resurrection round.
Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.
by Commander_Nate on Jan 20, 2012 3:17 PM PST up reply actions
But JohnSamo wasn't there either.
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
QUALIFIER MATCH
of those who lost already or new person?
"DOV all the way
Just compare the signature lines. Phi’s is terrible, just like his skidmark…errr…"mohawk". "
new person
a lot of god posters were discounted in the original seeding (by no fault of yours, of course)
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 20, 2012 4:23 PM PST up reply actions
I really think it should be eyespy
we could use the pacific island representation.
CONGER, CONGER, CONGER !!!
I'll see your 115% and raise you 10%
"We are the JeDi, the ultimate power in the universe. We will do as we choose. And we will destroy any who dare stand in our way."
And another!
Shaka!
"And that’s why to hell with the traffic, Diane, we’re staying until the end of the game, and that’s final." ~brokenyard, 8/18/11
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