Help Victor Roast Weaver
Victor Rojas is soliciting suggestions for material for tomorrow night's roast of Jered Weaver. Tap into your inner Lisa Lampanelli and show your mad skillz.
4 months ago
yeswecan
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He's sooooo good.
He’s not bad.
"Baseball is beautiful. It is the only sport in which you can fail 70% of the time and still be considered the greatest player"
by Halos2011champs on Jan 23, 2012 6:31 PM PST via mobile reply actions
that HAD
to be you , Rev.. I was gonna go there, too, but was trying to find a polite way to say “Hey, Weave, it’s puff, puff, PASS”..
by pattimelt on Jan 23, 2012 6:36 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
YOU DICK!
"Bloody your hands on a cactus tree/
Wipe it on your dress and send it to me."
by Hutch83 on Jan 23, 2012 6:52 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
EDIT: Hey, Jered, facial hair is supposed to be, you know, hairy.
Winning doesn't matter. -Lyle
by 5thStarter on Jan 23, 2012 7:41 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
No More Singing
Christmas carols. Top 40. Nothing! Please, think of the children.
Pujols called you Jeff
The confusion stops when you take the mound, there can be only one highlander from Simi Valley.
"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."
Now.... wait a minute mate :)
Don't call me Bugs. Although Bugs Bunny could do it all on the baseball field.
by highlandhalo on Jan 23, 2012 8:28 PM PST up reply actions
Thanks. I should have posted this... I work in Simi, and all four of my nephew went/go to Simi High.
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
What's amazing is how much the current Crispin Glover
looks like 1980s Crispin Glover.
by lightupthehalo29 on Jan 23, 2012 8:16 PM PST up reply actions
Sam Miller needs to get in on this!
Some of the stuff he Tweets is hilarious!
"Every time I think I’m out, they pull me back in" -George Costanza
by Howie's Batting Title on Jan 23, 2012 7:25 PM PST via mobile reply actions
victor needs to ask jered when hes going back on tour with his brothers
Hanson hasnt been the same since he left!
The score dictated they pass
by norcaliangelsfan on Jan 23, 2012 7:57 PM PST via mobile reply actions
mmmmmmmmmBop
Jim Bowden on Tony Reagins.
Style: Authoritative, brilliant baseball mind who works well in the trifecta with owner Arte Moreno and manager Mike Scioscia. Builds teams on pitching and defense up the middle. Active at trade deadlines, will trade prospects and has the resources to acquire All-Stars
I'd go with something like
man what an interesting World Series we witnessed. Couldn’t believe the Rangers were so close to sealing the deal. If only Nelson Cruz could have caught that ball……. man speaking of that play, I haven’t seen someone go that slow since Jered took the analogy section of the SAT.
Jim Bowden on Tony Reagins.
Style: Authoritative, brilliant baseball mind who works well in the trifecta with owner Arte Moreno and manager Mike Scioscia. Builds teams on pitching and defense up the middle. Active at trade deadlines, will trade prospects and has the resources to acquire All-Stars
Well done, sir.
Great setup and a nice, clean “Oh, no he din’t!” punchline.
Winning doesn't matter. -Lyle
My Tweets
kentnichols 8:22pm via HootSuite
@VictorRojas29 Jered is also one of the nicest guys in baseball, before gametime he reads Trumbo The Lucky Baseball Bat
kentnichols 8:17pm via HootSuite
@VictorRojas29 If you’ve never made a farting noise while Jered is in middle of a windup, do yourself a favor. It’s hilarious.
kentnichols 8:11pm via HootSuite
@VictorRojas29 Jered signed an $89 Million deal saying who needs any more? Maybe we should keep him away from Albert…
kentnichols 8:09pm via HootSuite
@VictorRojas29 Jered’s hair. I think it’s great, how many players love flashback fridays enough to look like a dork all of the time?
kentnichols 8:06pm via HootSuite
@VictorRojas29 Jered got tossed from a game last year for being a headhunter, I hear he learned those skills on the Jungle Cruise
kentnichols 8:02pm via HootSuite
@VictorRojas29 Jered led the league in strikeouts, which is weird since he’s not that bad looking.
Let's Go P-BO!
The last one is the very best.
Your Angels: Telling Pythagoras to go to hell since 2004.
by sheisalovelyladyandmyapologiestoher on Jan 23, 2012 9:18 PM PST up reply actions
She's got lovely hair
Pity she has to throw cross-arm to miss those huge bazoombas
(Sorry Weav i love you man)
Don't call me Bugs. Although Bugs Bunny could do it all on the baseball field.
It's a good thing Jared signed that extension.
’Cause someone needs to support his skilless brother.
Unlike this cat, my love for the LAA will never die.
by NathanielS on Jan 23, 2012 8:33 PM PST reply actions 3 recs
ROFL
best one yet.
bravo, sir.
What do you need a fancy suit for, Charlie, you ain't got no job to wear it to.
by clover_black on Jan 23, 2012 9:07 PM PST up reply actions
It's a good thing Jared signed that extension
Now he can take them out of his hair.
Everybody thought Jered was just a laid back surfer dude until that game against Detroit
After that people got a little scared of him. Even Scott Boras does what he says now.
by JeffJoiner on Jan 23, 2012 8:35 PM PST via mobile reply actions
Hey, Weave, which will you miss more?
His premium defense, or his bat?
Winning doesn't matter. -Lyle
by 5thStarter on Jan 23, 2012 8:37 PM PST reply actions 3 recs
Truly premium!
Your Angels: Telling Pythagoras to go to hell since 2004.
by sheisalovelyladyandmyapologiestoher on Jan 23, 2012 9:20 PM PST up reply actions
Jared went up to ^&% and ^@#%^*
&&^&* %$# then he ^$#@$^c ^& *&^&%% then he drops his &&% in his &%&$% then %%^& the he gargles #$#! then he takes the fluid and $#%#
We call it the aristocrats!
Unlike this cat, my love for the LAA will never die.
Frank McCourt is ptitioning for MLB to recognize the Weaver/Arredondo no-hitter at Dodger Stadium
He wants to use it as precedent in the Bryan Stow defense
“Look white-guy-brown-guy no hit RIGHT HERE at Dodger Stadium …”
by Rev Halofan on Jan 23, 2012 9:05 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Its hard to live past your older brother.
when even Albert Pujols calls you Jeff.
Mathis is finally gone. Only good things can happen now.
by Angelsrthebest101 on Jan 23, 2012 9:09 PM PST reply actions
He was ok for a little bit.
Won a world series. The only reason I say that is because Pujols called him Jeff during the press conference.
Mathis is finally gone. Only good things can happen now.
by Angelsrthebest101 on Jan 23, 2012 10:09 PM PST up reply actions
Jered Weaver on steroids = Clay Matthews
Kinda funny that both were born in Northridge
Representing the Angels in Sin City.
by maze88 on Jan 23, 2012 10:02 PM PST via mobile reply actions
Hey weaver,
You’re a dirtbag.
^best I got. I like weave.
"I have something 95 percent of all those All-Stars only wish they had: a World Series ring. If I had to choose between that and being an All-Star, it would be no contest. I’d grab the gold ring and never look back." -Tim Salmon
by BruinHalo on Jan 23, 2012 10:06 PM PST via mobile reply actions
Like how he and Tim Lincicum ride around in a van,
solving mysteries, sharing a barber, and always looking like they’re after a mythical strain of the goos stuff?
Unlike this cat, my love for the LAA will never die.
love me some of that goos stuff
When I flip a coin I dont say heads or tails, I say Halos or Spurs
by ItCouldHappen on Jan 24, 2012 7:04 AM PST up reply actions
Weave has spent as much time post game hangin with frat guys at Goat Hill
As Billy Mac has spent frolicking pre game with the local jr. High girls at recess.
Is there a "Billy Mac harrasses young girls" meme that I don't know about?
Winning doesn't matter. -Lyle
Rev, do you have the link? I'm too GA to use search, and it doesn't really work too good for really old posts.
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
Just read through it all for this first time.
Crazy to look at the time/date stamps, and knowing now how our Halos world would be rocked within days. (RIP #34)
"And that’s why to hell with the traffic, Diane, we’re staying until the end of the game, and that’s final." ~brokenyard, 8/18/11
Oh Our Weaver...
You used to be a dirtbag and have blossomed into a million dollar douchebag…
I heard that you got married in the rain recently… good thing god showed up to throw water in your brides eyes so she couldn’t see what she was getting into.
I also think it is great that you have kept your hair the way you have for so long… it worked in bad news bears and still does today… good job tanner… way to grow up buddy.
and in closing…
Weaver lay off the weed… weed = munchies munchies= kevin appier.
One more Weaver
Weaver i know you think that you are the man… signing that huge contract and all… but if you really were the man… why is Victor Rojas roasting you?
Victor Rojas is like the William Hung of announcers. I too believe that special people should be working… but i bet witnessing this roast live will be like watching Dick Clark host New Years Eve!
You got me...
I am just not thrilled with the broadcasting team… i would take one of Hudler’s rants about playing for every team in the league any day over the crap we have now. They should have Terry Smith on TV and put the other junk on the radio.
False
Listen to the Mariners. You will miss Rojas.
I would rather watch the M’s/Angels games on mute than listen to their announcers. DAMN MLB.TV BLACKOUT RESTRICTIONS!
"I have something 95 percent of all those All-Stars only wish they had: a World Series ring. If I had to choose between that and being an All-Star, it would be no contest. I’d grab the gold ring and never look back." -Tim Salmon
What to Tony Reagins and Jered Weavers mom have in common?
They did exactly one thing right.
Unlike this cat, my love for the LAA will never die.
by NathanielS on Jan 24, 2012 2:05 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
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