Round 1, Matchup 3: matt welch VS Canard
by PhiSlamma on Jan 4, 2012 8:10 PM PST
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My oh my, I am a lagger
Between New Years, ex-girlfriend goings ons, having no internet and finding out my house is apparently a dead spot for all cellular devices (awesome) I haven't been able to get to a computer long enough to update this. Tomorrow Ill have plenty of time, will get a schedule out, and everything will be set.
Until then I want to see this epic beat down, er, I mean... no yeah epic beat down. I have no idea how Canard can pull this one out, but it might be awesome to see his attempt. Come on man, do it for all the newbies.
More substance later, folks.
This Fan-Post is authored by an independent fan. Tell us what you think and how you feel.
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As a newbie and as his #1 fan
Canard has my vote.
by Halowitz on Jan 4, 2012 8:27 PM PST via mobile reply actions 1 recs
Dude
Canard:Vladdy::mattwelch:Babe Ruth
"I have something 95 percent of all those All-Stars only wish they had: a World Series ring. If I had to choose between that and being an All-Star, it would be no contest. I’d grab the gold ring and never look back." -Tim Salmon
by BruinHalo on Jan 5, 2012 1:50 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Is that a Borg Panda?
Your comment couldn’t be posted. Please wait a few minutes and try again.
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
by red floyd on Jan 4, 2012 8:37 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
I've been here a while now.
So I await both arguments from the candidates for my vote. But I ain’t gonna lie, Canard is going to have a tough campaign ahead of him against Matt Welch. But first, I demand to see birth certificates!
YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE.....
by halofolife on Jan 4, 2012 8:37 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
to show you the birth certificates that is
by eyespy on Jan 4, 2012 9:09 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
But I demand birth certificates...
If you can’t supply these, you can"t be worthy of my vote…
YOU DON'T KNOW THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE.....
by halofolife on Jan 4, 2012 10:14 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Matt Welch
still the voice of reason around these parts. It just isn’t the right time for Canard right now BUT if there ever was a time for an upset victory, this is that moment.
"Two-thirds of the Earth is covered by water. The rest is covered by Peter Bourjos" ~ markinca
by blast21dave on Jan 4, 2012 8:50 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Voice of reason?
Or did you mean the voice of the publication known as “Reason”?
THIS… IS… ANAHEIM!!
by opiejeanne on Jan 4, 2012 9:28 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
your point?
Well, come see a fat old man some time!
by Moondoggy on Jan 4, 2012 9:36 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
My point is ... well, I'm not of the same persuasion
being an unreasonable sort.
THIS… IS… ANAHEIM!!
by opiejeanne on Jan 4, 2012 9:47 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
but you are persuasive
The saddest day of the year is the day baseball season ends.
by ladybug on Jan 5, 2012 8:44 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I'm not waiting for the arguments
This is an easy one for me. Canard has been a breath of fresh air and his "Yu Darvish and the Dead Cat" post was brilliant, Plus I now know what an Apologue is (not that it will ever come in handy out here in the Land of Smiles). But Canard, I knew Matt Welch, Matt Welch was a friend of mine. Canard, you’re no Matt Welch (yet anyway).
Matt Welch is the only reason I even listen to Ron Paul (the good Congressman would’ve done well to have Matt edit his newsletters in the 90’s). Matt presents the most thoroughly researched, well reasoned, articulate baseball analytical pieces I’ve ever read. And on this blog no less.
Matt is such an HH mainstay that he has his own HH t-shirt (I know, I know, I do too. But I share mine with Mayhem and we saw what that got him).
He has his own Wikipedia page for crying out loud, and it states, and I quote, "A life-long Los Angeles Angels fan, Welch is a frequent commenter on Halos Heaven." (To be fair, Canard also has a Wikipedia page which defines him as, and I quote, "an unfounded or false, deliberately misleading fabrication, a false report"…which to be honest almost swung my vote)
Therefore, I am voting for Matt Welch.
Amen
Well, come see a fat old man some time!
by Moondoggy on Jan 4, 2012 9:12 PM PST reply actions 4 recs
Canard also means duck in that foreign Frenchy language.
Quack quack.
Good enough for me.
THIS… IS… ANAHEIM!!
by opiejeanne on Jan 4, 2012 9:29 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
you must mean the "freedom" duck
Well, come see a fat old man some time!
by Moondoggy on Jan 4, 2012 9:37 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I think you just convinced me to vote for you over Kaplan with this post.
Captain, there are doubt''s...
by Match Day 5 on Jan 5, 2012 11:32 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I think he convinced me
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read" ~Groucho Marx
by George Kaplan on Jan 5, 2012 1:13 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
like an idiotic jury member on Survivor, my vote is wide open
sway me
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 4, 2012 9:13 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Mine's for sale
but not in this particular matchup. Mattwelch wins.
by rmhalofan on Jan 5, 2012 5:43 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Anyone that takes pictures in bathrooms
gets my vote
The neighbor is a cranky irish expat. He if wanted no snakes, he shoulda stayed in Ireland.
-Moondoggy
by DAD OF VLAD on Jan 4, 2012 9:25 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
I'll keep that in mind when its my turn in the gauntlet
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 4, 2012 9:34 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
try not standing on a stool and make that catch
The neighbor is a cranky irish expat. He if wanted no snakes, he shoulda stayed in Ireland.
-Moondoggy
by DAD OF VLAD on Jan 4, 2012 10:02 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Bathrooms, stool,
get it?
I crack myself up sometimes.
Official prediction: The Angels will win the AL west this season.
by RexTookMyStash on Jan 4, 2012 11:25 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Matt Welch goes on television to drink martinis with hot news anchors.
Shit aint even a contest.
No offense, Canard.
"Lose your pants and only good things can happen."-MayhemInTheHood
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 4, 2012 10:02 PM PST reply actions 2 recs
a poet who says in two lines what i couldn't say in three paragraphs
Well, come see a fat old man some time!
by Moondoggy on Jan 4, 2012 10:03 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Canard's fanposts were fantastic
But bear in mind he did post this in a comment
We should put together a package of a young player or two, or one and some prospects, and an offloading of Abreu and a load of cash to go and acquire Evan Longoria from the Rayshowever, he also says that soccer sucks 4 times on his profile page, and that is worth some points in my book.
"id take 5th Dimention Wormhole Rivera over Wells any day of the week"
-clover_black
by the king of CERA on Jan 4, 2012 10:07 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
He did admit his love for Longo knows no reason, no rationale, no logic.
What I’m saying is: he knew that suggestion was ridiculous.
Winning doesn't matter. -Lyle
by 5thStarter on Jan 4, 2012 10:20 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
and that is the ballgame folks
Willits? Check. Reagins? Check. Mathis? Check
by hauldog on Jan 5, 2012 9:20 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Gotta go with Welch
If only for sentimentality.
I mean, come on. Even if Canard is just-drafted 2004 Jered Weaver, Matt is still Nolan Ryan. Canard will be great some day, but today is not that day. Or something.
Light up that halo! RIP, Nick.
by Clutch on Jan 4, 2012 10:49 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Welch
Will get my vote every single time — including if he runs for the Presidency of America or France.
by YouthofToday on Jan 4, 2012 10:55 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
I voted for Rick Santorum.
Official prediction: The Angels will win the AL west this season.
by RexTookMyStash on Jan 4, 2012 11:25 PM PST reply actions 3 recs
Too Soon...
CJ Wilson is OUR douche now!
by ryanfea on Jan 4, 2012 11:43 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
you live in IOWA?
Cedar Rapids Kernels Games any time this season?
by Rev Halofan on Jan 5, 2012 12:16 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
You better believe it.
Official prediction: The Angels will win the AL west this season.
by RexTookMyStash on Jan 5, 2012 9:06 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
There was a comment piece in The Guardian in the UK yesterday on the Iowa caucuses...
…in which Rick Santorum was likened to anal lube. I laughed a lot.
For what it’s worth The Guardian is one of our more respectable (though left-leaning) papers, and the author was one of your lot.
I see red people
by The Limey on Jan 5, 2012 3:33 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
have you googled 'santorum'?
The saddest day of the year is the day baseball season ends.
by ladybug on Jan 5, 2012 8:47 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I have now - that was pretty much the tone of the article
I love watching your Presidential elections.
I suspect this year’s is going to be a new low (from a mud-slinging perspective), but a new high for comedians the world over.
I see red people
by The Limey on Jan 5, 2012 10:07 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
It's a total true life SNL skit
The saddest day of the year is the day baseball season ends.
by ladybug on Jan 5, 2012 10:22 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Jimmy Kimmel wants to get Herman Cain back in the race
by LanaBanana on Jan 5, 2012 10:40 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
So does my son
He can’t get enough of Herman Cain
by eyespy on Jan 5, 2012 10:47 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I realize that Kimmel wants this for the added comedic possibilities
but Kimmel wouldn’t know what to do with it.
THIS… IS… ANAHEIM!!
by opiejeanne on Jan 5, 2012 10:47 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Not so much.
I’ve been disappointed with his show and wondered if I have ever thought he was funny.
THIS… IS… ANAHEIM!!
I find him to be the funniest guy on TV.
Everything he says makes me laugh. Went to see his show in person a couple of years ago.
Louis CK is funnier
Official prediction: The Angels will win the AL west this season.
by RexTookMyStash on Jan 5, 2012 6:16 PM PST up reply actions
Yeah. It was when I was on Win Ben Stein's Money.
My “personal fact”/schtick was that I was the world’s worst fencer. Jimmy asked me if I ever wore the white suit with the little red heart on it, and I said I’d been known to do that. Jimmy said, “That is so gay.”
I asked him if he wanted to see my scars.
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
I loved that game show!
Although there’s 18 episodes with a Scott in it. Would love to rewatch that episode and see how you fared against Ben Stein.
"Two-thirds of the Earth is covered by water. The rest is covered by Peter Bourjos" ~ markinca
Chicks dig the longsword.
“Jimmie” has Harnischfechten envy.
Dear Texas: "One, two...........THREE!" The next number IS THREE!!!
Time to sign up Red for Jeopardy
he can win money for the ALS Foundation, and maybe a few verbal jabs at Trebek as an HH section in the audience cheers him on.
CONGER, CONGER, CONGER !!!
Been there, done that, came in second.
Won a trip to SF.
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
Guess a trip to SF beats a years supply of
“Jolly Time” popcorn or “Turtle Wax”, but not by much.
CONGER, CONGER, CONGER !!!
Oh, I got a years supply of Rice-A-Roni.
And it was a $300/night room (in 1991 dollars)
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
Don't you hate it when you get Santorum on your caucus?
Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.
by Commander_Nate on Jan 5, 2012 8:49 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Haha
Official prediction: The Angels will win the AL west this season.
by RexTookMyStash on Jan 5, 2012 9:05 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
someone saw the daily show last night?
by firebird81 on Jan 5, 2012 9:21 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Actually haven't seen it since the latest batch of episodes started
There was a string of puns and jokes about the Google definition of “Santorum” on an article I was reading yesterday morning and this was one of the better ones. Just thought I’d share.
Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.
by Commander_Nate on Jan 5, 2012 10:12 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Matt Welch is like the Ron Paul of this match. All eyes on canard while MW the veteran gets ignored...
I choose Ron Pa…err Matt Welch!!
Representing the Angels in Sin City.
by maze88 on Jan 4, 2012 11:41 PM PST via mobile reply actions 1 recs
Interestingly enough
Googling Ayn Rand Baseball and GIF didn’t turn up any actual GIFs.
Unlike this cat, my love for the LAA will never die.
by NathanielS on Jan 5, 2012 12:33 AM PST reply actions 2 recs
I am guessing the Venn diagram of Rand- and baseball-fans, it is not so big
And it certainly doesn’t include me!
Second post on his own matchup thread
Disqualified.
"I have something 95 percent of all those All-Stars only wish they had: a World Series ring. If I had to choose between that and being an All-Star, it would be no contest. I’d grab the gold ring and never look back." -Tim Salmon
Matt is clearly one of the (if not THE) best writers here...
…with a long and glorious track record of insightful forensic analysis. But I’m going with the underdog purely because the final results almost certainly won’t reflect the excellence of Canard’s writing and recent contributions.
I see red people
by The Limey on Jan 5, 2012 3:37 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
...despite the horrifically French user name
I see red people
by The Limey on Jan 5, 2012 3:39 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
Canard is awesome
but Matt Welch is the voice of Reason. (see what I did there?)
On the basis of historical contributions, Matt gets my meager vote. But in a year’s time, this could be wide open.
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read" ~Groucho Marx
by George Kaplan on Jan 5, 2012 4:47 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
see Blast21Dave above
almost original (taking shots before our battle)
Well, come see a fat old man some time!
by Moondoggy on Jan 5, 2012 6:27 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Yes, but I capitalized it
That made it wildly original.
But I should have used italics. Dammit.
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read" ~Groucho Marx
by George Kaplan on Jan 5, 2012 7:40 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Get us an Edit Button George,
and you’ll get my vote.
by eyespy on Jan 5, 2012 9:54 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Erm, I got there before you. (see above)
So I’m even More Original.
THIS… IS… ANAHEIM!!
by opiejeanne on Jan 5, 2012 9:58 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Matt Welch
I reject your reality and substitute my own.
by mustard_man on Jan 5, 2012 5:17 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
I will wait to see the combatants posts
and then if that doesn’t sway me I will take the scientific approach and put each name on 10 separate pieces of paper*, drop carefully into Angels cap, mix gingerly, hold brim of cap exactly 13" above eye level, raise hand and pick 1 piece of paper out of hat.
- Paper to be cut into exactly 1″ × 1″ squares, names to be block letter with red ink, handwritten and then folded in half.
CONGER, CONGER, CONGER !!!
by steelgolf on Jan 5, 2012 6:24 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
Habeas Papem
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
by red floyd on Jan 5, 2012 9:09 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I meant he should burn them with black or white smoke to indicate his selection.
Isn’t that latin phrase what they say once they elect a new Pope?
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
by red floyd on Jan 5, 2012 10:49 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I don't remember now.
Been a while since the last Pope was elected… er, chosen by Divine Influence, or whatever they call it when they decide on the next Italian man to run things. Karol Whosis was a Divine Exception to the norm that has lasted for over four centuries.
THIS… IS… ANAHEIM!!
Don't forget Cardinal Ratzinger (now called Benedict XVI)
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
Come on, now.
You still believe that all that smoke comes from dozens of dudes, living beyond the law, locked up in their own private man cave, because they are burning a few little slips of paper? And you never paid attention to all the smiling that goes on immediately thereafter?
And you lived through the 60’s???
Dear Texas: "One, two...........THREE!" The next number IS THREE!!!
After all that effort
One will be hanging
by eyespy on Jan 5, 2012 9:56 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
One of them is named Chad?
Science, don’t let me down, or blind me.
CONGER, CONGER, CONGER !!!
by steelgolf on Jan 5, 2012 10:23 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Both Canard and Matt Welch are articulate, eloquent, expressive writers.
But Matt’s baseball acumen gives him the edge in this contest.
A wise man does not need advice and a fool won't take it.
by angelslogic on Jan 5, 2012 6:34 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
Welch!
Canard = wonderful. And appreciated.
But, If you’ve spent much time here over the years, it’s gotta be nearly impossible to imagine Matt being bested by pretty much ANYONE.
Welcome, Canard! Sorry about the bad draw, Dude.
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry
by LAASurfin on Jan 5, 2012 7:22 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
Looking forward to mattwelch v WiHaloFan
omg omg omg that beats out LSU vs Alabama round 2
"I have something 95 percent of all those All-Stars only wish they had: a World Series ring. If I had to choose between that and being an All-Star, it would be no contest. I’d grab the gold ring and never look back." -Tim Salmon
by BruinHalo on Jan 5, 2012 1:56 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
You don't think SubOp can beat WiHalo?
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
by red floyd on Jan 5, 2012 2:49 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
He COULD
but no one else has their own dedicated section of awesome on this site:
"I have something 95 percent of all those All-Stars only wish they had: a World Series ring. If I had to choose between that and being an All-Star, it would be no contest. I’d grab the gold ring and never look back." -Tim Salmon
by BruinHalo on Jan 5, 2012 3:26 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Canard has a great start in HH post history
Darvish & the Cat was up there in the posts hall of fame.
But I’ve never heard anyone use so many f bombs in one rant and still make sense.
The saddest day of the year is the day baseball season ends.
by ladybug on Jan 5, 2012 8:59 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
so it's the dude in the devil suit for me
The saddest day of the year is the day baseball season ends.
by ladybug on Jan 5, 2012 9:00 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Canard's track record is too short...
We have volumes of material from Matt backing his case, but only a couple from Canard at this point. He’s gonna really need a gem to pull this one off so early in his career…..
by firebird81 on Jan 5, 2012 9:24 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
Agree
2 post and 174 comments. Canard must be Keats or Milton given the comments by some….
I reject your reality and substitute my own.
by mustard_man on Jan 5, 2012 10:04 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Go Gauchos!
Willits? Check. Reagins? Check. Mathis? Check
by hauldog on Jan 5, 2012 9:27 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
Saddleback or Santa Barbara?
Go Gauchos!
by Halowitz on Jan 5, 2012 11:17 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
UCSB. Matt Welch is a Gaucho
As am I. Although I took two GE glasses at Saddleback.
Willits? Check. Reagins? Check. Mathis? Check
by hauldog on Jan 5, 2012 11:23 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I am a Gaucho dad.
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
by red floyd on Jan 5, 2012 11:27 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
My quote is from Gaucho Marx
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read" ~Groucho Marx
by George Kaplan on Jan 5, 2012 1:15 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
by red floyd on Jan 5, 2012 2:49 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Neither one of them has posted on this thread.
I want my money back!
THIS… IS… ANAHEIM!!
by opiejeanne on Jan 5, 2012 10:00 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
me too!!
The saddest day of the year is the day baseball season ends.
by ladybug on Jan 5, 2012 10:23 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
this will probably happen in this first round
Im sure interest will peak for user participation in later rounds because it will matter so much more, etc etc.
I brought sexy back, but they only gave me store credit....
by PhiSlamma on Jan 5, 2012 10:39 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
You must promote this ESPN Tebow style Phi.
In every comment you make, in any post, on any subject. Just slip in some info on the challenge.
If it would help I can hold up the bracket in front of a camera, while wearing face paint, or some sort of mascot costume.
by eyespy on Jan 5, 2012 10:44 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Somehow I've generated like 500+ posts with this nonsense so far
I fear what would happen if I promote it.
Unfortunately I am so hungover at work right now Im just trying to keep my shit together so no one notices. Someone needs to remind me that you break up with people for a reason, hot or not.
I brought sexy back, but they only gave me store credit....
by PhiSlamma on Jan 5, 2012 10:49 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
you break up with people for a reason.
Hot people can be bitches just like anyone else that’s ‘not so hot’
except the girls here….we’re all hot bitches and proud of it!
The saddest day of the year is the day baseball season ends.
ok fine.... hot SWEET bitch. I swear, some people want everything
The saddest day of the year is the day baseball season ends.
Can't kill 'em?
THIS… IS… ANAHEIM!!
by opiejeanne on Jan 5, 2012 10:49 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I, too, am a sweet bitch. (Jokes about names are funny!)
(The hotness determination can be left up to the rest of you.)
"And that’s why to hell with the traffic, Diane, we’re staying until the end of the game, and that’s final." ~brokenyard, 8/18/11
thats the smartest thing I've ever heard
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 6, 2012 9:26 AM PST up reply actions
I smell REFUND!!!
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
by red floyd on Jan 5, 2012 10:51 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Since Phi is hungover,
we may all be able to get the refund we are entitled to
by LanaBanana on Jan 5, 2012 11:03 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I think my hangover has a hangover
and absolutely no refunds allowed.
I brought sexy back, but they only gave me store credit....
by PhiSlamma on Jan 5, 2012 11:10 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
After some thought, I gotta go with Matt
The dude always adds to the discussion in a positive way and provides a lot of research for the articles he posts (some on topics I’ve never even thought of!). Plus, I used his analysis of Adrian Beltre to hammer quite a few people on MLBTR, other sites and in person. That may have been late 2010, but it was so good I’m giving him rollover points for 2011. He also gives HH a bit of celebrity cred.
Also, I just stumbled upon an article from Matt’s real job that I enjoyed.
Also, I’m kinda hoping to do battle with him should I advance beyond the first round.
Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.
by Commander_Nate on Jan 5, 2012 10:20 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
I love Mr. Welch but
I voted for Canard ‘cause I love underdogs and ’cause I’m free to do so. This is America after all.
Captain, there are doubt''s...
by Match Day 5 on Jan 5, 2012 11:37 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
Francophile!
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry
by LAASurfin on Jan 5, 2012 11:55 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Hiring you on as our "Senior Socio-economic Political Blogosphere Voting and Polling Advisor"
would be amazing,
I brought sexy back, but they only gave me store credit....
by PhiSlamma on Jan 5, 2012 12:09 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I like how Northern Maine is voting avec les Quebecois
I love this team.
by Downing Rules on Jan 5, 2012 12:12 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
The French Canadians live there
Jus like in duh Bayou
by eyespy on Jan 5, 2012 12:18 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
My Aunt grew up there as an Acadian
and spoke only French through middle school
Well, come see a fat old man some time!
by Moondoggy on Jan 5, 2012 1:38 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
South Dakota would vote for Canard...
CJ Wilson is OUR douche now!
by ryanfea on Jan 5, 2012 12:18 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
two out of three voters did
it is duck hunting season
by eyespy on Jan 5, 2012 12:19 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
the oregon contingent did not go unnoticed btw
But where is the representation of the OC fans of les canards puissants?
I love this team.
by Downing Rules on Jan 5, 2012 2:18 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I'm guessing N. Dakota is grey because Darin Erstad wanted to stay neutral.
Captain, there are doubt''s...
I thought it was because he's got it, dammit.
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
ND and MT are gray
because nobody is there
"id take 5th Dimention Wormhole Rivera over Wells any day of the week"
-clover_black
by the king of CERA on Jan 5, 2012 5:48 PM PST up reply actions
Sorry Canard, even though I also hate cats, I voted for Matt Welch.
After this off-season, I have no recollection of this Del Ninja character we used to discuss.
by snowhor on Jan 5, 2012 12:49 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
Welch is an og
He gets my vote
me and the wonder dog got high!
by YOUknowulovetheIE on Jan 5, 2012 1:15 PM PST via mobile reply actions 1 recs
I find the dead cat analogy distasteful. I find Matt Welch's posts to be some of the best reads on the interwebs.
FINISH HIM!!
by Wally's World on Jan 5, 2012 1:43 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
SWEEP THE LEG!!!
I love this team.
by Downing Rules on Jan 5, 2012 1:49 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Find him and kill him!!
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
by red floyd on Jan 5, 2012 2:53 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
So, you want a case made, eh? (HT: Quebec)
I know I have myself a bad draw, and I don’t care, you know why? I am an Angels fan, and for 50 years, a fraction of which I was neither alive for nor cognizant of baseball, we have been great exactly once. It’s not that I am used to rooting for total suckage, so much as I am accustomed to getting overrun by those with superior history, credentials, records, payroll etc., as is the case today.
However, I am high right now. My handle is “Canard,” which is French for “Duck” and English for a baseless rumor or intellectual dodge. It also means my team just won the Rose Bowl on a gorgeous Monday evening for the first time since mustard gas was all the rage, syphilis was incurable, and gas was 0.4 cents a gallon. The results of this contest cannot possibly kill my buzz.
You see, I DESERVE to lose this vote, even as by the count I am looking like the French facing Army Group Center’s Panzers in 1940.
Matt Welch is a baseball writer of sorts. I don’t write about baseball in any more than the most ephemeral way when you think about it. I write about dead animals, cocaine use in managerial offices, how stupid the Doyers are, (without reference to any statistics), those mouth breathing shit kickers in that DFW hellhole, craptastic Japanese pitching, how much I dislike red compared to blue, my Evan Longoria man crush, and why I’ll never be a M’s fan despite MLB insisting that those teal wearing coffee sippers are supposed to be “my team” territorially.
I love baseball. I loved playing it. I love coaching it. I love teaching my son grips that might one day get him a loud and proud TJ scar, hopefully as a TORP in the employ of the Angels while having a guaranteed FA contract. I love rooting for the Angels and sorta of rooting for the Padres out of pure underdog driven Doyer hate. But you won’t catch me ever going on like I am Billy Fucking Beane, WAR this and FIP that. I understand these statistics, but I have never gotten into fantasy league bullshit or “You Be the General Manager for a Day, Nancy.” Just hit the damn cut off man and don’t call yourself “premium” if you are looking up at the Mendoza line.
I am stuck with the Angels I have, which is a continually improving situation by the day, but my bitching about their UZR and peripherals isn’t going to change a damn thing if the team is under performing its payroll.
If my opponent is “the voice of reason” then I am the “shriek of fanatical irrationality,” though it is always directed outwards. I come by that honestly as a college football fan.
So go ahead, vote for him. It’s not like I know where you all live or something.
Ah Look! My California Angels are now all grown up!
by Canard on Jan 5, 2012 2:24 PM PST reply actions 9 recs
I've been to Eugene a couple times with my old band.
Cool place, but sketchy as hell.
"Lose your pants and only good things can happen."-MayhemInTheHood
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 5, 2012 2:36 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Joke's on you then.
If you were expecting anything deeper than our being both cool and sketchy as hell simultaneously.
You’re talking about the spiritual home of One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Fight Club, the global exploitation of child labor in the name of Michael Jordan, naked dudes on public access television, and America’s assisted suicide movement.
Amidst all of that, I rock the halo when admitting liking anything from California is tantamount to saying, “Kiss me, I have herpes.”
Ah Look! My California Angels are now all grown up!
by Canard on Jan 5, 2012 2:44 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
We played almost every college town there is on the west coast. I guess they are all pretty sketchy, but knowing little about the area, I pictured more girls-getting-roofied-by-frat-guys, some-dude-sold-me-bunk-shrooms sketchy.
Turned out to be more ghetto, is-this-Eugene-or-downtown-San Bernadino? sketchy. That’s all I meant.
Not that I cared that much. Give me a couple days in the sketchiest of places and i’ll be running that bitch.
"Lose your pants and only good things can happen."-MayhemInTheHood
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 5, 2012 3:35 PM PST up reply actions
It's the meth
I have a lab in my pants right now.
Ah Look! My California Angels are now all grown up!
Dude, you were in a band?
the aura of coolness that surrounds you just gets thicker and thicker
Well, come see a fat old man some time!
I was in a band too.
In fact, I was in several. There was a time when I was young and cute.
THIS… IS… ANAHEIM!!
Note to self:
Mention in my argument that I was in a band, to get Moondoggy’s vote.
THIS… IS… ANAHEIM!!
Dude, this post is Panther!
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
by red floyd on Jan 5, 2012 2:55 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Follow-up. Just on this post alone, you get my vote.
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
by red floyd on Jan 5, 2012 2:56 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I'm convinced that Stirrups, for some reason or another, created another account to post under.
"Lose your pants and only good things can happen."-MayhemInTheHood
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 5, 2012 3:37 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
It's a channeling of my inner Sybil. (<--see what I did there??)
Half the accounts on HH are actually mine. But rest assured, Canard (and George Kaplan, while I am at it) are decidedly too calm and rational for me to pull off successfully.
Dear Texas: "One, two...........THREE!" The next number IS THREE!!!
So Halos Heaven is mostly you
and the rest will be assimilated.
We are the Borg.
THIS… IS… ANAHEIM!!
But Captain, I don't want to be a Yank!
If the Halos don't care about the way they play, then why should I?
Canard also defines a design type of aircraft.
Here.
Most significantly: “Canards have poor stealth characteristics because they present large, angular surfaces…”
I would think again about that one…
Dear Texas: "One, two...........THREE!" The next number IS THREE!!!
I am anything but stealthy
And you are welcome to kiss my enlarged surface at an angle if you wish.
Ah Look! My California Angels are now all grown up!
Quintuple post on his own matchup thread
Disqualified
"I have something 95 percent of all those All-Stars only wish they had: a World Series ring. If I had to choose between that and being an All-Star, it would be no contest. I’d grab the gold ring and never look back." -Tim Salmon
I was never "qualified" to begin with.
And one can always look to a latter day Bruin for a proponent of taking a win without making any effort.
Ah Look! My California Angels are now all grown up!
I got stoked on that, too. Then I realized he may be talking about college football.
"Lose your pants and only good things can happen."-MayhemInTheHood
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 5, 2012 3:59 PM PST up reply actions
it better not be the football thing
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 5, 2012 5:59 PM PST up reply actions
You got my vote.
And I think I’m in love, because I could never post shit like this.
THIS… IS… ANAHEIM!!
and because of you, i hate cats even more, so yeah, you're welcome for my precious vote.
hula dula da dominoes rula.
by DanishThunder on Jan 5, 2012 5:08 PM PST up reply actions
Well, damn, someone just improved their seed next year
Chalk full of awesome.
I brought sexy back, but they only gave me store credit....
or, chock full... chock-full? Neither looks right to me now.
chalk is that stuff for the blackboard.
THIS… IS… ANAHEIM!!
The second one.
(I’m catching up on all the old matchups.)
"And that’s why to hell with the traffic, Diane, we’re staying until the end of the game, and that’s final." ~brokenyard, 8/18/11
Matt Welch has my vote all the way through.
12/8/11!!! What a day!
by stuck in Romania on Jan 5, 2012 3:55 PM PST reply actions
First of all, I just spent three weeks eating canard in France
It’s true! I love that stuff, and the mother-in-law fries it up real nice….
But I am not here to talk shit about my fellow Angels fan with an Oregon connection (both my parents are from Portland, don’tcha know, and my mom even worked in the mental hospital in Salem where they filmed Cuckoo’s Nest).
Actually, speaking of my mom—and I hope I’m not wasting all my ammo here—did you know that in the history of Anaheim Kaiser Hospital (hell, maybe any Kaiser hospital), there has been exactly one man ever admitted as a patient after being pronounced dead. That man’s name was Donnie Moore (his poor wife, who was all shot up and on the edge in ICU, was desperate to see her Donnie), and the admitting nurse who made the decision was …. my mom.
I’ll let it sink in.
Weirder yet, I only found out about this a couple of years back.
Point is, I actually don’t use FIP or VORP or anything off the Fangraphs site (NTTAWWT!); my first favorite Angels were Bobby Valentine and Joe Lahoud, and I grew up in an area where hitting the cutoff man, “working it,” and nailing down the daylight play at age 10 were considered the normal rites of adolescence. I go to bed every night thinking about how to trade Vernon Wells, how Albert Pujols will hit at age 38, and how many I can score on this list using only former Angels (45, the first go-round).
I am Canard, just without that weirdo college football distraction, and the fondness for trades that’ll never happen. It’s an honor just to be nominated.
by mattwelch on Jan 5, 2012 4:26 PM PST reply actions 3 recs
I support mattwelch
The neighbor is a cranky irish expat. He if wanted no snakes, he shoulda stayed in Ireland.
-Moondoggy
This guy wins. Every time. (I apologize, Matt. I couldn't help myself. People need to see the awesomeness. Delete at your discretion)
"Lose your pants and only good things can happen."-MayhemInTheHood
He's doing that damn brushing back of the hair move that makes bald men like me simultaneously envious and pissed off.
"Lose your pants and only good things can happen."-MayhemInTheHood
by Mayheminthehood on Jan 5, 2012 5:50 PM PST up reply actions
I laughed out loud and scared the dog next to me
The saddest day of the year is the day baseball season ends.
Is this Matt?
And if so, when?
Official prediction: The Angels will win the AL west this season.
by RexTookMyStash on Jan 5, 2012 6:15 PM PST up reply actions
crazy
Shape of a 40
me and the wonder dog got high!
by YOUknowulovetheIE on Jan 5, 2012 7:02 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
what is more Sad?
that jacket or the hair cut?
The neighbor is a cranky irish expat. He if wanted no snakes, he shoulda stayed in Ireland.
-Moondoggy
I think it's a full-on lady-purse, or just a filthy hippie-sac
Either way it wasn’t mine; I was either holding it or stealing it.
I like how literally every post has 1 rec on it.
The rec bandit needs to be stopped!
I brought sexy back, but they only gave me store credit....
by PhiSlamma on Jan 5, 2012 5:59 PM PST reply actions 3 recs
hey Phi
how are you deciding the order of matchups?
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 5, 2012 6:06 PM PST up reply actions
thats what I was assuming
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 5, 2012 6:41 PM PST up reply actions
Im planning to do a lot of updating and whatnot tomorrow
because I wont have the internet all weekend, maybe till even Wednesday (I hate ISPs and their awful scheduling of appointments).
You will have a full breakdown of when each Round 1 matchup is so everyone can prepare accordingly.
People might have missed it but I updated the bracket thread. Tomorrow’s matchup will be DoV against myself.
I brought sexy back, but they only gave me store credit....
ok cool
and YES! the matchup we’ve all (namely me) been waiting for!!
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 5, 2012 6:41 PM PST up reply actions
I just recently got a new job
and shit just got crazy busy, with no end in sight. I like the job and am stoked to have it, but its really cutting into my HH time. now instead of commenting all day and then living my life at night, I’m having to come on here after work. it seriously blows and I have no clue what to do. I mean, I could just take super long shits throughout the day and bring my phone in with me, but I hate writing comments on my phone. so I guess this is how its to be from now on, part of the PM crew.
the point is, its going to be a struggle to stay off this site tomorrow and work now knowing what is coming.
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 5, 2012 6:48 PM PST up reply actions
Man, the pressure is on for me to bring it.
I brought sexy back, but they only gave me store credit....
pretty sure you'd bring it regardless
Phi’s 5 vs. DOV aka the great giffer
gonna be a bloodbath
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 5, 2012 6:59 PM PST up reply actions
I gotta save Phi's 5 for the Halowood matchup if I get past DoV
Cant use it. Gotta bring other ammunition.
I brought sexy back, but they only gave me store credit....
true
true
"You realize that Ive been posting on AN since 07 on this name and I am one of the most rec'ed posters there right?" - Some tool named Designatedforassignment from Athletics Nation
by 2pintsofbooze on Jan 5, 2012 7:05 PM PST up reply actions
You do realize that DOV will have all 37 of his children signed up with accounts by tomorrow, right?
THIS… IS… ANAHEIM!!
watch for them
Son(daughter)ofDadofVlad1-55
The neighbor is a cranky irish expat. He if wanted no snakes, he shoulda stayed in Ireland.
-Moondoggy
This post describes my exact situation if I get a new job
Career? HH? How does one decide?
Scioscialist Party of America - Redistributing your defense since 2000.
by Commander_Nate on Jan 5, 2012 8:01 PM PST up reply actions
Matt Welch
This wasn’t even that hard for me.
Matt Welch is a first ballot Halos Heaven Hall of Famer. His posts are one of my favorite things about this site. He even brought a Boston Red Sox fan to the Vegas Meetup and i didn’t think twice about it since i respect his writing so much.
Canard, As a U of O alum I feel obligated to vote for you in almost any matchup. But against Mr. Welch you never stood a chance.
Just wait until my next fan post
Yu Darvish and The Dead Cat 2—Litter Maid Dumpster Fire
I’m gonna totally jump the shark.
Ah Look! My California Angels are now all grown up!
only Fat Bastard looks sexier than this:
The saddest day of the year is the day baseball season ends.
Has anyone seen Matt Welch and Elvis Costello in the same place at the same time?
I’m just saying it’s PROBABLE they are one in the same……
I reject your reality and substitute my own.
------------NEW THREAD UP------------
http://www.halosheaven.com/2012/1/6/2687437/phi-slamma-vs-dadofvlad-megathread-matchup-4-round-1
I brought sexy back, but they only gave me store credit....
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