Vernon Wells Angels Walkup Music (in a perfect world)

FORT WORTH, TX - OCTOBER 25: Vernon Wells #10 of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim prepares for a two-seater ride with Kurt Busch, driver of the #22 Shell/Pennzoil Dodge at Texas Motor Speedway on October 25, 2011 in Fort Worth, Texas. (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images for TMS)
Basically, most athletes have terrible taste in music as revealed in their lousy walkup music... The Angels would do well to have a sophisticated musicologist curate songs to match the strengths of the team's players at their moment of stepping up. This is the first in a series.

Imagine Vernon Wells stepping to the plate to Love, Love, Love Drags Me Down off the Barbarella Soundtrack with the Bob Crewe Generation reminding every fan not to get their hopes up...

INDEED... Vernon, you drag us down and the sound of the feigned excitement as you pop one up a mile high but right into the catcher's glove. Every awesome facet of the 1960s music scene is either missing or pandered to in this terrible imitation of superstar. Come to think of it, what an exact parallel to your career and the desperate circumstances of a trigger happy general manager who buried whatever meager legacy he may have had when he traded for you.

In the end the whole recorded performance is weirdly pleasant enough, much like the observation that you, Vern Dog, are quite the inoffensively magnanimous twittering teammate, but can you rock harder than this brassy paean to impressing one's self at the expense of turning everyone off? If not, I say curate this as the Vernon Wells Walkup music for each and every 2012 At Bat.

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