Mark Trumbo placed third in his first All Star Game Home Run Derby Monday night in Kansas City, hitting a total of 14 homeruns - including one in a 5-swing swingoff against eventual Silver Medalist Jose Bautista.

Prince Fielder won in a landslide barrage of monster shots despite a disrespectfully distracted ESPN broadcast team promoting George Brett-delivered colonoscopy procedures via John Kruk's mouth.

ESPN hit a new low, actually partnering the ulcerative Chris Berman with two co-hosts more obnoxious and in turns distracted and distracting. Nomar Hasbeen and John Krock actually lowered the terrible standards of the Bristol Conneticut trashpile beneath the main sewer line. Subterranean Homesick Blues indeed.

The highlight of the derby was the Kansas City faithful mercilessly booing a New York Yankee player, Robinson Cano, and watching the dumbfounded open-mouthed droolgazing shock on the fat face of ESPN's Dirk Ravetch or whatever his name is. He almost started crying as the reality of what baseball fans outside the east coast bubble think about teams that are shoved down America's throat 24/7/365 became apparent. It was time for someone else to get some indigestion for once. The idea that booing a Yankee is somehow sacrilegious is the weak link that would never earn ESPN an ESPY in the real world.

Overall a great showing by the classy and composed Trumbo, the Centerfield rooting of MLB Fan Cave denizen Ricardo Marquez certainly coaxing at least three of those Trumbombs over the fence on sheer willpower alone. Watching on television, Halos Heaven was alive with posts on DERBY THREAD ONE and DERBY THREAD TWO.

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