It's that time of year again, time to buy a wave of Angels tickets, and make a down payment on the upcoming season.
After looking at the overall schedule, it was time to look at the promotional calendar and check out the Angels Scrilla.
April: Calendar, (Trout) Blanket, (Trout) Bobblehead, Drawstring Backpack
May: Fedora, Drawstring bag, (Trumbo) Bobblehead, Camohat, (Trout) Pintglass
June: Rally Wig, Drawstring Backpack, (Trout) Fishing hat, (C.J. Wilson) Bobblehead
July: Cooler, Plush Surfer Rally Monkey
August: (Pujols) Pint Glass, (Trout) Alternate Jersey
Now we can see why the Angels have the majority of the player related items being Mike Trout ones, we all want that, but what items didn't quite make the cut this season? Items that we might never knew existed, until now...the lost finalist promotional items for 2013
Onwards we go, counting back from promotions...
10. Astros Minor League Tryout night. (Astros, 12:35 pm April 14th) a lucky fan in attendance will get an opportunity to pitch the fourth inning for the Astros. The first lucky fan that can hit 89Mph upon entry to the Big A, will suit up. One pitch per fan. An Astros minor league contract will be raffled off in the 8th inning, stick around.
9. Tim Lincecum Hair Extension Night. In a shameless ploy to attract the attention of upcoming free agent pitcher Tim Lincecum and to completely baffle and distract the hapless Dodgers, All Angels Fans in attendance will receive a package of Tim Lincecum Hair Extensions.
8. Howie Kendrick Mojo Night, after a season of searching Howie has relocated his Mojo, and Angel Scientists have been able to bottle it. This frangrance makes contact all the time, it really does hit, it has some pop, and most of all, it can dance...wait! is this really Howie(TM)? Who cares, Angels Mojo Night. "Smell like a Halo"
7. Albert Pujols 2021 Bat-Cane Night, No one can predict the future, but written into Pujols' 10 year contract, was a provision in year 10 for a secret new weapon; something that can both prolong his legacy, as well as keep him upright in the batters box, Bat-Cane. Let's end the debate now, we are all more confident with the bat-cane in town.
6. The Anaheim fan of Anaheim Night. On this very special day, one fan in attendance will be named the official fan of Anaheim, City of Anaheim. There will be an official ceremony in which the name Anaheim will be tattooed to the body of that fan, and after a quick signing of some paperwork, the Angels baseball team will no longer be required to have the word Anaheim in the name, as that martyr fan will now bear that mark for the team, henceforth.
5. Rev Halofan Red Hairdye Night. Outside of the big A, there was to be a giant vat of red hairdye and free white Angels' towels. All fans in attendance were to be invited to dip their head into the Red hair dye vat upon entry, and make the red commitment. The dye was also 80 proof, enjoy.
4. Jered Weaver Thank You Card Night. This is an event where the fans are given thank you cards upon entry, with a slot for money, and Jered Weaver's photo on the front. To be an Angel was enough for him, but Fan's are invited to write Jered a thank you letter for the 30-50 million dollars or more he walked away from to stay an Angel and bypass free agency completely... if you feel at all guilty when you see him pitch for us, put some cash in there, drop it into the Weaver appreciation slots on the way out of the Big A.
3. Josh Hamilton Shot Glass Night. When Texas comes to town, lookout...to make things even spicier, the Angels toyed with the idea of a Josh Hamilton Shotglass. As per Josh's request, it has a cross on it, and a line of scripture. (It even has a little "Rally Junkie" logo on the bottom too if you look real close, first edition baby, coin it)
2. Performance Enhancing Drugs for Fans Night, Fans have often wondered what it might feel like to cheer a little louder, to clap a little harder, to be able to stand up and spill your nachos farther during a key play, and this was the game when it was to happen. Upon entry into the stadium, a testosterone cheering enhancer was to be stamped on your wrist, in time a hairy Angel's Logo will appear there, but the cheering rush will be immediate (all participating fans must sign acne clause)
1. Vernon Wells Money Night. We have all been waiting for this night, a night where at each entry point to the stadium, upon entry, fans are given the opportunity to grab a handful of Vernon Wells 21 Million Dollars for 2013. The rules are simple, one hand, a garbage can of money and you have 3 seconds to grab and pull your hand free of the cash can, no peeking. If we (the fans) can take back about 15-18 million dollars that night, I think we will all feel better about all this, even Vernon.
Get your tickets now, these promotions won't last!