The Rains of Baltimore: West Washes Weaver Away

World's most expensive metaphor - Patrick Smith

The one day you weren't praying for rain, the Angels lost a wet game with the Orioles after a two-hour delay.


With the field already soaking up more water than a Twinkie in a washing machine, the notorious Country Joe West, clearly worried about his bedtime, told the Angels defense to take the field, amidst a torrential downpour, in the bottom of the sixth inning. It was so far, so good up to that point—a 2-2 score, with Jered Weaver pitching efficiently if not his most effectively. The Orioles would push two runs across before Corpulent Joe finally realized that the weather was not fit for professional baseball, thanks in part to a series of defensive misplays on the world's new most expensive Slip 'n Slide.

It still feels good to blame the umpire, easily the most hated in the game, even though we all really know that this was no single-point of failure. That eight-game winning streak looks like a fluke, now that the Angels have choked away the last ten games against feeble opponents as well as strong. The Orioles are somewhere in between, though they didn't exactly bring out their best with dead-man-walking Freddy Garcia on the hill. Once again, the Angels embarrassed themselves against Freddy, with a pair of solo homers from Mike Trout and Josh Hamilton the only highlights. After the rain delay, the top of the order had reliever Tommy Hanson on the ropes—bases loaded, one out, one run in—before $250 million replacement-player Albert Pujols struck out. At least Jim Palmer, MASN's color guy, finally diagnosed the problem for everyone: Pujols has "plantar fascists." That's right, your #3 hitter is dealing with a severe case of NAZI FEET.

Sigh. At least a 2+ hour rain delay is a good reason to catch up on Boardwalk Empire. That's better than I can say of just about every other game the Angels have played in the last week or so. This team is running out of time for this season, and even the most expensive offseasons can keep a franchise relevant for so long. Are you even watching this, Mr. Moreno?

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