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Angel Stadium Swag

I got the Angels Promotion Pack today - if you have season seats, you can buy this pack that has one of everything they give away during the season at giveaway days. The box came from UPS today, so here is my review of the 2005 Angel Giveaways

2005 Schedule Magnet - One has already been on our refrigerator all year. Thick, durable, looks like it will last a nuclear blast.

Halo Sticks - Never enough of these around. I pity the burglar that breaks into our pad - if we can just grab our thunderstix and inflate them, we will deafen the poor bastard (or bastardette, not to be sexist, girls can burgle your stuff too)

2004 AL WEST Mini Pennant - This is thick cloth, quite awesome, woven or knitted (I don't know the differences, but this is definitely not screen printed). It has all the Division Championships on it - except 2005 - they didn't dare jinx it ahead of time! There was a replica of this hanging in Centerfield all season.

Replica Cap - A red Angels cap that has AM/PM embroidered above the adjustable band in back.

Playing Cards - This might be the best thing in the whole deck. Vlad is the Ace, Scioscia is the King, Figgy is the Jack, and on down, but NO, Ervin Santana is not the Queen, the Rally Monkey is. So now when yeswecan has a Vlad with an Erstad kicker, I can take him all in with my pair of Bartolos.

Calendar - A desk calendar I would never be able to find under the clutter of my desk. It has This Date in Angels History on each day.

Guerrero A.L. MVP Figurine - awesome fake bronze statue of Vladdie pointing toward heaven as he crosses home plate after a homer.

2004 Season Highlight DVD - I will watch this when my girlfriend has time.

Rally Monkey Bubble Watch - it has a bubble over the digital time - I kinda feel like wearing it to be a total nerd - maybe I will give it to my nephew for Christmas, I think they are trying to make him a Dodger fan if you can believe that.

2 in 1 tote Bag - the Girlfriend grabbed this one so fast and claimed it as her own you woulda thought it was my ass.

Erstad Gold Glove Bobblehead Doll - I'm not a nationalist, and don't really see the manufacturing base of our country shifting to China as the greatest of all possible threats to the nation's health - but when they make Darin Erstad look Chinese, I get a little freaked out. Still quite cool. They should have made a button where you could press it and he would dispense ancient Chinese wisdom like, Winning player spits in glove after making great play...

T-Shirt - The Haloed A on a red shirt with ANGELS BASEBALL in white courier type - basically, homeless people who bum money near the stadium after games wear this - you just know people thought they were changing the poor bum's life by giving them a free Angel shirt.

Wristband - Like Lance Armstrong but red and with a Wild Rivers logo on it. Zzzz.

Anderson Bobblehead Doll - Garret looks like a thin Bernie Mac in this attempt at honoring him.

Travel Mug - the piece of junk came broke - A red travel mug for your hot coffee with a Red Haloed A in case you are traveling with a Cincinnati Reds fan and his travel mug.

Picture Frame - Need a red Wild Rivers plastic holder for a 4x5 picture? John "Marketer to the Stars" Carpino has got you covered.

Lenticular Cup - One day they will make a movie about Indiana Jones searching for this thing. I am getting thirsty writing all of this but do not know if i am yet worthy to sip from the sacred Lenticular cup. 3-D all the way, 21st century digital boy has a cup and a toy in one!

6-Pack Cooler - I have yet to test how long a six pack will stay cool in this carrier that looks more like a funky Prada purse.

Visor - A Red Angels Visor with a KIIS FM logo on the side. You know, a lifetime in Southern California has finally yielded one item in my possession with this ubiquitous monicker. I knew I stayed for a reason.

Steve Finley Replica Jersey T-Shirt - I so want to make this into an artwork of sorts. I am actually stumped about how to properly castigate this White Trash ballplaying imposter in the course of one sewn piece of fabric. Send any ideas this way.

Guerrero Clacker - an annoying Noisemaker in the shape of Vlad's jersey. As this blog shows, I love annoying people. Unfortunately, my girlfriend bears the brunt of my clacker's power to irritate.

Lunch Bag - Made of the same material as the 6-pack cooler, this is the kind of lunch bag that if you took to school you basically got made fun of until you convinced your mom to buy you a Land of the Lost lunchbox.

Back to School Binder - a collection of Angel players adorn the cover of this three-ring binder. They are acompanied by pics of themselves as little leaguers. Figgins actually looks older as a kid then he does now, Erstad has a gamer face from Hades at age 12 and Lackey looks he already can strike any of us out. The other side of the binder has a big Chevy logo - but this binder was only given out to kids - none of whom can legally operate a Chevy. What is next - Budweiser back to school pencil sharpener/bottle openers for the tykes?

Pom-Pom - lamest giveaway of all time was not included in the box and was not missed.

2005 Team Photo - Frankie and Garret are AWOL, I hope they got fined.

All in all most of this stuff is a bunch of junk, but the statuary, the playing cards and the Lenticular cup made it worth a few extra bucks. One thing that was missing was the Garret Anderson 1,000 RBI poster, but they added that later in the season, so it didn't qualify. I went to that game anyway, so it is not like I am all greedy and stuff.