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Here comes those TWINKIES

They may not be living up to Kirby Puckett's mistress count, but the Minnesota Twins are a bunch of real men, tuff guys with personality, sorta like the Yankees or the Red Sox, but just with cheap boring fans and totally downer, uninspiring uniforms. But Ron Gargoyle's boys know how to win when they don't have to play for Boring old Tom Kelley, so this series is gonna be a little bit of a beeeeAHtch.

Game 1:
Lackey v. Silva ... We have never beat this Carlos Silva guy and every inning is: walk one, give up a hit, pop one up and then the double play. Our offensive approach is like him being Emperor Palpatine muttering yes, give in to your anger, hack at the ball, feel the power of the dark side,,,

Game 2:
Our Santana v. Scott Baker ... They called up some kid with a 3.18 ERA from their AAA club because Brad Radke is a pain in the neck, I mean HAS a pain in the neck. Our AAA vs. their AAA, okay!

Game 3:
Paul Byrd v. Their Santana ... It will be a hot sunny day game. I think it will last 1 hour and 5 minutes and I will still get a damn sunburn.

So me and the ball-n-chain are going to all three games, got us a nice hotel near the stadium and will be poolside up until game time each night.