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Memo to all Paul Allen employees: Payback is a bitch

Today, Vladimir Guerrero and Brendan Donnelly, wearing suits, were cruising thru the streets of Redmond, Washington talking about the differences between McDonalds in the USA and in the Dominican Republic.

When they get to Safeco Field, Vlad walks into Team Frapuccino's clubhouse and announces

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

And then they shoot them all, except Ichiro - they let Kevin Gregg strike him out swinging to end the massacre.