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No Need to Panic?

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Morrissey and I Have Some Thoughts About the Angels

Panic on the streets of london
Kendry Morales didn't get a hit last night

Panic on the streets of birmingham
Dallas McPherson struck out twice against weak Twinkie pitching

I wonder to myself
Garret Anderson won't even publicly commit to playing at 60% normal

Could life ever be sane again?
If you attended the April 30 game in Anaheim against the ChiSox, you may have seen Darin Erstad's last game as an Angel

The leeds side-streets that you slip down I wonder to myself
Juan Rivera is hardly a replacement for either of them

Hopes may rise on the grasmere
We're 9-17 when Robb Quinlan has an at-bat in a game

But honey pie, you're not safe here
Casey Kotchman got sent to the principal's office

So you run down to the safety of the town
Adam Kennedy is batting .277 and the league average is .278

But there's panic on the streets of carlisle, dublin, dundee, humberside
Figgins seems to be emulating Kennedy's uppercut swing minus about 50 points of batting average

I wonder to myself
But the pitching was supposed to save us and Bartolo is at least two weeks away.

Burn down the disco
Jose Molina cannot bat his weight

Hang the blessed dj
Mike Napoli cannot bunt, but neither can anyone else, except Kennedy, but then nobody can get a good jump on the sac bunt pitches, so what does it matter?

Because the music that they constantly play
Erick Aybar hit a triple Sunday, his 9th at bat in his 7 major league games

It says nothing to me about my life
As someone asked rhetorically in a game thread, would we have ten wins this season without Orlando Cabrera in the lineup?

Hang the blessed dj
Find me one motherfucker in this vast universe of baseball experts who sneer at the average fan who predicted Cabrera's current contributions preseason?

Because the music they constantly play
Or Tim Salmon's for that matter

On the leeds side-streets that you slip down
Of course Vlad is Vlad, but minus some Isolated Power for you stat-inclined to scratch your noggins

The provincial towns you jog 'round
And the only one affected by the absence of Izturis seems to be Stoneman's ego

Hang the dj, hang the dj, hang the dj
Everyone predicted Donnelly's slow regression

Hang the dj, hang the dj, hang the dj
But the hopeful bite their nails a little deeper when Shields pitches

Hang the dj, hang the dj, hang the dj
Like they always do when Frankie throws ball 1 and 2

Hang the dj, hang the dj
Ervin Santana is like your wife after ten years - only good at home with the lights out

Hang the dj, hang the dj
Tommy Murphy is subject to Rex Hudler's vacuous ridicule for smiling

Hang the dj, hang the dj, hang the dj
Jeff and Jered are two sides of the same coin, except nobody spells Jeff's name wrong

Hang the dj, hang the dj
Kevin Gregg is in the bullpen, so Halos Heaven is three for three with the DFAs of Yan and Fonz

Hang the dj, hang the dj
Too bad Jason Bulger flopped and J.C. Romero's not next

Hang the dj, hang the dj, hang the dj
Ask Kelvim Escobar "What do the Playboy Channel and bone chips have in common?"

Hang the dj, hang the dj
Betcha the Angels gift shop hasn't sold a single custom Hector Carrasco jersey yet

Hang the dj, hang the dj
John Lackey might be the best pitcher in baseball for outs 1 and 2

Hang the dj, hang the dj
Uhhhhhhhh... did I mention everyone?