clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Media Blitz

If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.

The controversial Angel fan/blogger Stephen A. Smith has a thoughtful treatise on the nature of bloggers as members of the media up on his blogging site at mlb blogs.

The bottom line is that the Angels are like any big company - they are tight-lipped to anyone who is a pipsqueak that they cannot use. The L.A. Times is part of the establishment and the writers there get bought off any bad stories based on how much the team advertises with their paper's ad department, duh!

No grudges against that - if I were a billionaire, I'd shred my mail and not let a blogger near my HQ. Hell, I'm hardly a thousandaire and I shred my mail!

If Halos Heaven could ever get a front office interview, here are my top ten questions I would ask:

1. How much do the Angels charge Bacardi for a billboard? Is it more or less than Budweiser - I would want to measure the cost-per-proof that the booze companies are spending.

2. What do the girls who don't make the strikeforce look like?

3. Which Angel executive doesn't even bother hiding the bottle of Mylanta on his desk anymore?

4. When friends of team executives get the runs from ARA-Mark's disgusting food at the stadium, who gets yelled at and where does the chewing out session take place?

5. Show of hands: which members of the General manager's staff and scouting department have ever heard of Bill James...

6. Of the coaches and members of the General manager's staff and scouting department who believe in the exotic RISP-2 statistic (Batting Average with Runners in Scoring Position and Two Outs), how many of them also believe in the goddamned tooth fairy?

7. Who is the creepy middle-aged wanking pedophiliac team employee who hires the zit-faced blonde teenage Lolitas to butcher and disgrace our national anthem before each home game?

8. Is there a front office employee with the balls to make Arte actually sit in a room and listen to a whole inane and childish broadcast of Physioc and Hudler?

9. Which employees are obligated to pretend to care about what Jackie Autry wants and needs and complains about? Followup Q: Has this employee ever laughed in the old bat's face?

10. Who is in charge of making sure the team hoochie-groupies don't catfight in front of the players' wives?

Think about it, do you want Halos Heaven to get into the locker room only to ask Lackey:

"How did you feel about having a shutout tonight?"

...when what we all want to know is:

"Can Percy's Thunder Mountain couch accomodate you and two OR THREE strikeforce girls at a time?

What questions would YOU ask the Angels and the team executives if I assigned you the role of intrepid reporter?