Angels @ Red Sox - John LACKEY versus Josh "Blister Bitch" Beckett
3:30 PM Pacific Time on TBS
The key to this game will be surprising and aggravating a bored, spoiled bunch of babies playing before the most narcissistic fans on Earth. The sociopathic alcoholic white supremacists in the stands will take any Angel scoring personally and pout, thus taking 90 percent of the crowd out of the game.
The Angels should score early, score often, and refuse to be intimidated by one-dimensional non-stars who hit for chemically-induced and Gammons-hyped power while pretending the strike zone is the size of a lima bean.
For Fun Before the Game:
Name two Angels who will drive in a run in today's contest. You get one point for naming one, but three points for naming two.