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Senator George Mitchell Splooging Steroid Hysteria Thread

Today, Senator George Mitchell, board member of the Boston Red Sox baseball club, will release the findings of a biased, leaked and parasitically opportunistic investigation into the use of products that are not getting inner city kids shot on street corners nor can help anyone hit the curveball or locate on the black of the inside part of the plate.

To satisfy media whores and an imperious legislature eager for acclaim over accomplishment, Mitchell will drag many names through the mud as part of a broader cultural effort to eradicate habeas corpus and render anyone anywhere subject to being considered guilty until proven innocent in an expensive, inaccessible and hostile court of law.

America once stood for the freedom to smoke indoors, to marry your pubescent cousin and to shoot ferrel cats entering your property. Now Evel Kneivel is dead and Senator George Mitchell is seeing to it that the right to mess up your own body as you choose is an Orwellian thought crime punishable by a public scolding constructed for the sole purpose of expanding the egos of a few, powerful bureaucrats in the warm glare of the 24-hour cable teevee floodlights.

Steroid abuse is a thousand times less-threatening to baseball than gambling, and yet the floating strike zone and shameless bad calls of unregulated, permanently-tenured umpires are ignored while the betting line becomes a regular facet of the game. Steroids take the attention from the plethora of Doug Eddings-style controversies that are the truer can of worms. HgH and the like could only tarnish this fine game when a certain anti-hero played the race card to spoil Mark McWhitebread's Andro-aided pureboy march to the top of your granpappy's record books.

Post your opinions of this gutless Mitchell malarky in this thread. If David Ortiz is named as a juicer, okay okay, maybe I am being too harsh here...