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Stadium Etiquette

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Dear Angel Stadium Production Staff:

You put on a good show. The player theme songs, the scripted “Third Base Steal,” the Rally Monkey videos, et cetera. While it is the Angels that inspire us, you deliver the entertainment of the stadium experience.

I have never asked you for anything.

The Angels might lose on national television Sunday night. If that is the case, then the following request I am about to make will be a moot point.

Here goes: If the Angels win Sunday night, instead of playing the traditional “If the House is a-Rockin’,”  followed by “Celebration” at the end of the game ... could I implore you to immediately, and at full volume, upon the moment our possible sweep occurs to do one thing. Please Play “Sweet Caroline.”

On Saturday, the Angels suffered through a national Fox broadcast in their home that was a 7-inning Francona stroke-a-thon. While the Angels destroyed the Red Sox and their Texan ace Josh Beckett, the two-hour Fox asslicking remains unanswered.

There is no reason to think that ESPN, Boston’s very own submissive love slaves, will produce a Sunday broadcast any less biased in favor of the World Chumps – IN OUR OWN YARD. Yes! OUR. YARD. The "national" broadcast is THEIR broadcast, reiterating their interviews, their narrative, their struggles over adversity, emphasizing their fan culture. IN. OUR YARD.

Well... you guys control our yard.

Rumor has it that John Carpino and Dennis Kuhl were both Yankee fans until Arte smacked some sense into their heads, Ask them for permission. And if the team pulls it out on Sunday, please crank up the Neil Diamond like it is Van Halen at a crowded wet tee-shirt contest.

Sincerely,

Every Angel Fan.