FanPost

What type of Angels fan are YOU?

The way in which we watch and react to Angels games tells a lot about what kind of people we are. Print off this handy quiz, be honest, score yourself, and fess up in the comments below the scoring guide.

1. Chone Figgins steals third base but comes up awkwardly, wincing and grabbing his ankle. You:
a) Say "Dammit please don't be hurt Desmond. We don't need injuries at this time of year. ... but nice hustle, just like Sandy Alomar."
b) Say "Now who's going to play third? Brandon Wood might be on fire at Salt Lake City but he's not ready yet, as evidenced by his high strikeout to walk ratio."
c) Say "Hell yeah, way to get the running game going Soth! Shake it off Desmond. Rub some dirt on it. ... Hey, beer guy!"
d) Say "Shit we're really screwed now. There goes our leadoff man. I don't trust Aybar in the No. 1 spot. We can forget about the ALCS now."

2. Ryan Garko is writhing in agony at home plate after being drilled by a John Lackey inside fastball. During the 15-minute injury delay you:
a) Say: "Man nobody likes to see a guy get hurt. Hope Garko's OK. Christ, Tony Conigliaro was never the same after that he took one in the dome."
b) Watch the scene with detachment. You turn to your companion and say: "John's pitching inside too much. Garko's OBP is way up because he gets hit a lot."
c) Say: "Take that Garko, Angel killer! Way to go Thunder!" You grab a hot dog and two beers during the delay and eat the hot dog in the urinal. You think about eating a moth.
d) Say: "Oh great. Now Lackey's gonna be suspended for at least 10 games which means we're definitely going to lose Game 1 of the playoffs."

3. Francisco Rodriguez walks Jason Varitek, Julio Lugo and Jacoby Ellsbury in Game 2 of the playoffs with a 1-run lead. Then he strikes out Dustin Pedroia, Jason Bay and David Ortiz in order for the save, freezing Ortiz with a ball that breaks out of the heavens on the corner. You:
a) Say: "Just another Halo victory! What a closer. Thank God we have Frankie. What an amazing season he's had. Remember when we had Doug Corbett or Joe Grahe closing games?"
b) Say: "I'm glad we won, but Frankie is just walking too many guys this year. Why can't he throw a strike with the game on the line? Walks are a killer."
c) Shout: "Hell yeah sit your ass down Papi! On to Fenway, Chowds!" and high-five an entire row of complete strangers and spill your beer on an old lady. Anaheim police talk to you on the way out of the stadium.
d) Say: "F---ing hell I hope the coronary unit at CHOC hospital is still open." You hold your head in your hands for five minutes then swallow 2 valiums.

4) The Angels face Baltimore's Garret Olson. He baffles the men in red for 6 innings of 1-hit ball with an array of 81-mph pus balls and his pitch count is 59. You:
a) Say: "We always struggle with soft-tossing lefties. Remember how Mike Flanagan owned us? Can't wait to get into the O's bullpen."
b) Say: "It's first-pitch strikes. Look how effective Olson is. We need some guys who walk more. And stop swinging at the first pitch, the odds are not in your favor."
c) Say: "Goddamn it Vlad how can you pop up on that shit! Let's get 'em! C'mon GA ... hey dude, by the time you get back from the beer stand we'll get a little rally going!" You chuck your peanut shells under the seat ahead of you.
d) Say: "That's it. Every manager in the league knows it. This is why we'll never make it past the first round of the playoffs. Just throw a lefty at us."

5) Erick Aybar and Mark Teixeira string together one-out singles against the A's. Vlad Guerrero comes up and rips it right into a tailor-made rally-killing GIDP as Teixeira barrels into Mark Ellis. You:
a) Say: "Another double-play ball kills us. Mind you, Bobby Grich was great at turning the DP, but he was also pretty good at hitting into them too."
b) Tell your neighbour: "That's Vlad's 27th GIDP this year. You just can't have that from your No. 4 hitter. Extending his contract will be a big mistake."
c) Say: "Damn Vlad stung that one. Nice turn Ellis you asshole. Shit, I just spaced my beer. Get me another one." You break out a pack of sunflower seeds and take off your shirt.
d) Say: "He's on decline, he's on decline. Look at the way he's running. I'm telling you Vlad's got maybe one, two more good months in him."

6) Garret Anderson goes 5-for-5 with 2 HRs and 8 RBI but the Angels lose to the Royals, 15-8. As you shuffle towards the parking lot you:
a) Say: "Too bad about Saunders tonight. He looked like Ron Romanick out there. ... Wasted a great night by GA. Retire No. 16 right now."
b) Say: "Saunders walked too many guys tonight. You just can't walk that many guys and hope to compete. He went to 3-1 counts on 12 of the first 20 batters. Crap."
c) Say: "Blue Smoke almost got us free wings at Hooters tonight. What the hell, like Soth says, turn the page ... What the hell, let's go to Hooters anyway. The chicks there have nice asses."
d) Say: "Why can't we beat bad teams? Why can we beat the Yankees but not the Royals? ... Damn, I hope I've got enough gas to get home."

And now ...

YOUR HANDY SCORING GUIDE:

Mostly a) You are an Angels purist, an optimist and perhaps a bit of a historian about the team. You have a good job, probably some gray hair, and can still remember how to repair the oil pan on a VW bug ... by yourself.

Mostly b) You are a stat geek. You can recite every word in Moneyball by heart, in fact you may have narrated the audio book. That is, if you can get a job as cool as voice-overs, which you can't. Your wife or girlfriend is probably not hot.

Mostly c) You are a hardcore Angels firebrand. An optimist by nature but you take every play with the seriousness of Heinrich Himmler and party hard when the Angels win. You can handle your beers. You sit in the sun in the bleachers when you can. Your wife or girlfriend is probably hot.

Mostly d) You are a pessimistic Angels fan. You are haunted by 1995 and the ghost of Donnie Moore. The Angels are never good enough. You don't own a gun -- if you did, the Register would print a story saying "... then he turned the gun on himself."

Enjoy!

This FanPost is authored by an independent fan. Tell us what you think and how you feel.

Trending Discussions