Vernon Wells Too Trash To Mash

The Angels actually lost their April 27 game on January 19 when they acquired a pile of trash named Vernon Wells for Mike Napoli and Juan Rivera. How many games will this bucket of lard and discarded hamburger wrappers chug aimlessly in the field and flail like a baby seal in the batter's box? Probably 130 more contests of this over the hill stiff... oh and then 400+ more over the next three seasons.

The Angels co-Ace Dan Haren could not thread the needle perfectly and in giving up one run he flooded the Anaheim offensive desert with a downpour. The Angels had a controversy-filled 9th inning where they benefited from an error, got jobbed on a bad call on a HBP being called a foul ball - Does Erick Aybar have a wooden knee? Bobby Abreu had a great double down the line to score the tying run but instead of using the intentional walk of Torii Hunter to get to him as motivation, everything Vernon Wells touches turns to trash. Wells struck out and then to top it off, he made a pathetic three base error to lead off the top of the tenth inning and the Angels lost the game and why am I still writing this...

UPDATE: My nickname for Vernon Wells from here on out: King Lousy.