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Rangers Deflate Angels Mattress, Inflate Mathis CERA

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Final Score in Anaheim: Angels 0, Rangers 7


The Texas Rangers showed up to a battle for the American League West tonight while the Angels gutlessly shirked from competition, confrontation or even comtemplation of how to hit the above average but not great fastballs of the vile human trafficker Alexi Ogando, who made the Angels bats appear to be about a repugnant as his own fleshy back jaw tumor growth.

The gutlessness of the mid-season Angels was only matched by a reminder of their offseason stupidity. Free Agent Adrian Beltre was theirs for the taking, but was lowballed and signed with Texas. Mike Napoli was flat out theirs and was given away for Vernon Wells and then flipped to Texas. Yes, there they were, the potential solutions to all the Angels offensive woes of 2010 right there on the Angel Stadium grass... except they were wearing Texas uniforms and will probably be snorting coke with hookers with Ron Washington or holding on to Josh Hamilton's wallet while his wife wipes his behind after he dropped quite a deuce on the Angels in the way Jose Canseco once stenched out over the Anaheim lawn.

The worst player in baseball, Jeff Mathis, saw his Catcher's ERA (fairytale stat, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain) rise when young Tyler Chatwood , a young Angels pitcher who might amount to something, was forced to throw the pitches that Mathis called for. Can we call a kid up to the big leagues and actually get him a big league catcher like, hey, maybe the one we traded for $86 million of .210 batting average???

Some people assume Mathis to be the god of baseball but he proved pathetically mortal behind the plate and uglier than Ogando's gluteal face with a bat in his hand. The Angels have absolutely no energy, no spunk, no drive and the man behind the plate needs to be shipped back to the Everglades for a shotgun wedding with an Alligator.

The Angels are 5 games behind the Rangers with 65 games to go but they ARE tied for the Wildcard lead for 2012.