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If you can read these words you are an addict! Why are you even on your computer? What the hell are you doing here reading my crap?? It's the Thanksgiving Holiday weekend, and nothing is going on in baseball for heaven's sake. For me, I am stoned on tryptophan and nearly comatose. You should be, too. It's leftover day. You have turkey pancakes to eat for breakfast before you have turkey sandwiches to eat for lunch before you have turkey soup to eat for dinner. It's your Uncle Bud coming over to visit and bringing his favorite serving of Chone Figgins. Or your dad's new girlfriend and her lumpy Adam Kennedy. Or your best friend's spicy Juan Rivera was really better yesterday and not something that really survives being a leftover.
No. This ain't a day to be playing on Halos Heaven. It's Day One of Christmas Season 2012. Black Friday. Normal people will not be here. You, "addict", are gonna be alone. Just you and, maybe, some other addict. And me, looking for evidence that any addicts have been here and have read what I was assigned to compose ON THANKSGIVING NIGHT. It's like I work at WalMart or something. But think about it. Who the hell is going to be here reading this stuff with you, anyway? Normal people are doing a ton of nothing, or a ton of shopping, or a ton of hanging around and playing some catch in the fall leaves or something. It's not a time to be staring at a computer screen. Alone.
So go. Just go. Close your laptop and grab your dog and go for a walk. Baseball will be quiet for the next two weeks anyway. Right after you finish reading my stuff. And anything anybody else might write.
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This Date In Baseball: Awards and signings, mostly. 1962 - Maury Wills of the Dodgers is selected NL MVP..........2009 - Joe Mauer of the Twins is selected AL MVP..........2010 - Josh Hamilton of the Rangers is selected AL MVP..........1988 - Steve Sax, ex of the Dodgers, signs with the Yankees to take over shortstop second base from Willie Randolph. Willie Randolph will then sign with the Dodgers to take over shortstop second base from Steve Sax..........2007 - Joe Kennedy of the Toronto Blue Jays awakens in the middle of the night, collapses, and passes away.
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- CBS Sports puts up an All-Thanksgiving Team. An outfield of Turkey Stearnes, Hunter Ovens and Felix Pie. Delicious.
- Seeing as it is Leftover Weekend, Mike Napoli is being wooed by the Boston Red Sox, with the Seattle Mariners coming up next. Now, since we all know Napoli is significantly productive only when facing the Halos, why can't he sign with, say, the Atlanta Braves or something?
- Here is MLB's Most Thankful Man of 2012: Jonny Gomes nabs a deal from the Boston Red Sox. Reportedly two years for $10 million on a guy who made just $1 million in 2012. And my best line in that article is "It’s unclear how the Red Sox would use Gomes...". Yeah, because, like, the guy cannot play defense. And he gets a 1000% raise.
- Jim Baker up at SBN puts forth Part 2 of his Old-Timey Baseball Publications, this one on baseball comic books gone wrong. Who knew that Nostrodamus wrote his predictions for our sport via Casper the Friendly Ghost???
- Barn doors being what they are, and all, the MLB Player's Union has decided to keep on eye on the Florida Marlins and their payroll.
- As News Corp. buys into YES network, folks are waking up and realizing that regional sports networks are going to have a huge impact in the near future. Whether that impact is for the good or bad is not yet figured out.
- You know you kick some serious ass as a baseball player when Fangraphs starts using YOU to define the brilliance of Jason Heyward!
- John Parent over at Sports Illustrated chooses an interesting take on how Hiroki Kuroda being signed by the Yankees spells trouble for the Angels, since it removes Kuroda from the plate of the Dodgers and intensifies the Dodgers focus on Zack Greinke.
- Just a small reminder that Mike Trout was not the first Mike Trout we had a chance to see playing on this current team.
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And now, being the full service weekend linkage institution that we are, here is the obligatory moment we take out of each Friday for beer:
For the most part, just sit back and share your thankfulness with your loved ones this weekend. It's a good time to be doing this, since there is very little formal activity in the beer scene in California planned for the holiday. But if you DO need an excuse to escape Uncle Bud, on Saturday out in Redlands the Ritual Brewing Company is hosting their Brewery Launch Celebration. Tickets are $25.
Stay safe, everyone!
