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2013 Angel Killer All-Star Team

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The gang of guys that absolutely slaughtered us this season. When their name was on a lineup card against us, it was the bane of our existence. 34 guys, just like the real All-Star team. Every team represented at least once, just like the real All-Star team. So let's dig in!

Harry How

With the way this season went, it would feel like there are PLENTY of Angel killers, right?

Clearly there was a decent handful, as 34 were selected out of the approximately 400 or so the Angels played against. The requirements for this were simple: for hitters, 25 plate appearances, and for pitchers, 10 IP and/or 4 appearances.

This is a sadistic little thing to look at, honestly, but with one last look at the 2013 season, we give due to those who simply beat the Angels at seemingly every turn. Tipping our caps, if you will, before we turn the page.

Before we get to the team itself, we have a leaderboard--yes, a leaderboard--of how many players each team contributed. Let's take a look and see who slaughtered us the worst. For those players who were traded, the team with which the ENDED the season is the one counted.

Texas Rangers 7
Seattle Mariners 6
Oakland Athletics 5
Houston Astros 2
Baltimore Orioles 2
Tampa Bay Rays 2
Chicago White Sox 2
New York Yankees 2
Boston Red Sox 1
Toronto Blue Jays 1
Detroit Tigers 1
Minnesota Twins 1
Kansas City Royals 1
Cleveland Indians 1

It's hardly a surprise that the team with the best record against us has the most representation on this team

And now, for the team itself. The team was offensively deep; out of 34 players, only 11 are pitchers. Here we go, beginning with...the starting lineup!

SS Elvis Andrus TEX .364/.412/.481, 1 HR, 8 RBI, 28 H, 10 SB
2B Jose Altuve HOU .320/.373/.427, 2 HR, 6 RBI, 24 H
1B Brandon Moss OAK .364/.456/.707, 5 HR, 18 RBI, 41 TB
LF Raul Ibanez SEA .313/.389/.625, 4 HR, 9 RBI, 15 H
3B Adrian Beltre TEX .338/.417/.568, 5 HR, 13 RBI, 25 H, 13 R
DH Billy Butler KCR .391/.517/.652, 1 HR, 9 RBI, 6 BB
RF Alex Rios CWS/TEX .333/.386/.706, 4 HR, 13 RBI, 17 H, 36 TB
C A.J. Pierzynski TEX .324/.343/.500, 3 HR, 12 RBI, 22 H
CF Leonys Martin TEX .303/.338/.413, 19 H, 8 RBI, 10 SB

That strikes the fear of God into me, how ridiculous that lineup is. Between those starting nine, we have a batting average of .352 (180-for-511), a slugging percentage of .573, 25 HR, 96 RBI and 293 total bases. That doesn't even scrape the surface. These guys SLAYED us on a consistent basis. But just look at the bench:

C Derek Norris OAK .278/.381/.472, 2 HR, 6 RBI
1B Chris Carter HOU .271/.384/.593, 6 HR, 17 RBI, 12 BB
1B Nick Swisher CLE .269/.367/.692, 3 HR, 5 RBI, 18 TB
2B Dustin Pedroia BOS .308/.379/.385, 8 H, 3 BB
2B Eric Sogard OAK .386/.400/.500, 1 HR, 6 RBI, 17 H
2B Robinson Cano NYY .480/.552/.560, 12 H, 4 BB
3B Matt Dominguez HOU .308/.347/.492, 3 HR, 17 RBI
3B Manny Machado BAL .300/.344/.533, 2 HR, 5 RBI
SS Jose Reyes TOR .286/.355/.571, 2 HR, 8 H, 16 TB
SS Yunel Escobar TBR .304/.407/.565, 7 H, 3 2B, 13 TB
OF Alfonso Soriano CHC/NYY .485/.514/1.152, 6 HR, 17 RBI, 38 TB
OF Dustin Ackley SEA .286/.352/.388, 1 HR, 3 RBI, 14 H
OF Dayan Viciedo CWS .409/.552/.455, 9 H, 6 BB
OF Torii Hunter DET .320/.393/.520, 8 H, 6 R, 13 TB
UTIL Ben Zobrist TBR .458/.581/.708, 1 HR, 5 RBI, 11 H

Half this bench is to be taken with a grain of salt because of small sample size (many of them being at or slightly above the 25 PA threshold), but have a history in their careers of exceptional play against the Angels (Cano, Pedroia, Viciedo and Zobrist are all exhibits of this). Let's have a bit of a look-see at our rotation now, shall we?

SP Chris Sale CWS 2-0, 0.00 ERA, CG SHO, 0.420 WHIP, 10.3 K/9
SP Bud Norris HOU/BAL 3-0, 0.32 ERA, 0.964 WHIP, 18 K
SP Bartolo Colon OAK 2-0, 1.20 ERA, CG SHO, 0.933 WHIP
SP Martin Perez TEX 1-0, 1.98 ERA, 1.024 WHIP, 7.2 K/9
SP Hisashi Iwakuma SEA 1-0, 2.08 ERA, 0.846 WHIP, 10.4 K/9
SP Felix Hernandez SEA 2-1, 2.90 ERA, 9.6 K/9, 5.5 K/BB

Yikes. And this is with the notable snub of Yu Darvish from the list. Darvish's K/9 of almost 12 against the Angels was ridiculous, but his ERA of 3.04 and uninspiring WHIP close to 1.4 paled in comparison to the other six on the starting staff. This leaves five spots--enough for a decent bullpen to shut the Angels down.

RP Sean Doolittle OAK 0.00 ERA, 0.391 WHIP, 5.9 K/9
RP Yoervis Medina SEA 1.00 ERA, 0.889 WHIP, 1 SV, 2.0 K/BB
RP Glen Perkins MIN 1-0, 2.25 ERA, 3 SV, 9.0 K/9
RP Tom Wilhelmsen SEA 1.17 ERA, 3 SV, 0.652 WHIP, 2.5 K/BB
RP Joe Nathan TEX 3-0, 0.00 ERA, 6 SV, 0.818 WHIP, 8.2 K/9

What? No Mariano Rivera? Yeah, that's because he's one reliever we actually owned, to the tune of a 13.50 ERA. These five, however, held the Angels down collectively with an ERA of 0.69. Nathan's three wins come from Michael Kohn and three of his walkoff Texas losses, but are irrelevant to his sheer dominance of the team otherwise.

I hope that we aren't in a situation where I can find 34 guys that dominated the Angels next season--maybe one of them winds up in an Angels uniform next season (as our heads turn pessimistically to Robinson Cano). In any case, hey, it's been fun remembering the guys who completely branded us as theirs.