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Mike Trout Cycle Slays Seattle in Angels Birthday Cakewalk

Trout Cycle and Jerome Williams Goose-Eggs make AAA Mariners look like a Double-A Team

Harry How


Josh Hamilton hit a two-run homer on his 32nd birthday as part of a three-run first inning but a Mike Trout home run in the bottom of the eighth was the big story as it completed the cycle for the 21-year-old slugger. The Angels crushed the Seattle Mariners easier than your wife stomping an upside down cockroach on the center of the kitchen's linoleum floor.

At 21, Trout became the youngest player EVER in to hit for the cycle in the American League and the youngest since 1972 (Cesar Cedeno) to hit for the cycle.

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The final score was 12-0 and it was not really even that close.

If only the Angels could face Aaron Harang every night. If only men of the obtuse incomprehension of building a baseball tam like Jack Zduriencik were in charge of our other division rivals. If only the three Sasquatch hipsters and four Ichiro stalking cougars who comprised the Mariners fan base until late last season were the only opposing team trash cluttering the seats of our beautiful stadium. If only the club that Dave Cameron at FanGraphs called the sixth best front office in all of baseball a few seasons ago were to share the wealth of its total ineptitude, then and maybe only then the Angels would have a chance in 2013.

Oh Seattle, your caffeinated populace is ignoring the slaying that took place to the name of your fine fair city tonight in Anaheim. You all know you are a cursed sports town and flat out ignore the putrid expansion mess of a baseball team you were handed when they win less than 116 games. Your little group has always been and always will until the SafeCo stadium gates open to crickets.

Mike Scioscia did not take Jerome Williams out after 74 pitches and the righthander rewarded the decision with eight strong innings of shutout ball. The pink glove slapped the espresso out of Microsoft's hand. A four-run fourth inning featured two doubles, two triples and a Howie Kendrick home run. It was wild. It was pandemonium. It was the dream that every team we face will be the hollow backward punching-bag that is the Seattle Mariners.

And even when our boys get on the plane after the finish of tomorrow's 4:05 PM start in Anaheim, the Angels might just be able to carry a flake of that dream with them for the 117 remaining games of this season.

...and meanwhile, at the MLB FanCave in New York, Angels fan Danny Farris got dizzy hitting the big team slide on three Angels home runs!

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