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Rangers Panic, Trade Farm For 2 Months of Matt Garza!

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Texas Rangers know that no playoffs = no bandwagon = no fans in football-lovin' Texas

OLT A CUB
OLT A CUB
Denny Medley-US PRESSWIRE

The management of the Texas Rangers panicked - blinked hard and after a 23rd hour meddling by Billy Beane feeling out the trade waters for Matt Garza the Rangers choked up a hairball - top prospects Mike Olt (3B) and C.J. Edwards (P) and pitcher Jason Grimm were shipped off to the Cubs for the "new sheriff in town" savior of the hayseeds and their first-cousin wife fanbase.

Two and a half months of Matt Garza minus soon-to-be suspended Nelson Cruz adds up to much less than the Ranegrs' current 1.5 game AL West division deficit.

There is now way the Rangers are going anywhere deep in October with their ragtag underachieving injury list and they just sacrificed their 3B of the future (as Adrian Beltre ages), their minor league pitcher having the most dominant season in recent Texas memory.

This will make it easier for the Angels to beat the Rangers in the 13 games they still have against the Texas Cousined-Parents and it will make it easier to beat them in seasons to come.

YEE HAW HA HA!!!