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Weaver Beats Lackey for Angels 10th Win in 12 Games

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Game of the year so far.

The Weave.
The Weave.
Jeff Gross

Final Score in Anaheim: Angels 3 Red Sox 0

Benedict Arnold was defeated in Anaheim 237 years and three days after the signing of the declaration of Independence.

On national television Jered Weaver pitched into the seventh inning without allowing a run against the team with the best record in the American League.

The Angels bullpen smothered a withering Boston offense, the whole overrated bunch of bearded slimebuckets gelded last night by a surging Angels machine awakening from its April slumber in July. The Angels won their tenth game of their past twelve by a 3-0 score,,mocking the Chowd-saturated stadium transplanted Boston bandwagon fans dim-wittedly financing the Halo payroll.

All Star Starter Mike Trout hit a solo homer in the bottom of the first, his fifteenth of the season. Hank Conger hit a solo home run in the bottom of the fifth. It was his sixth of the year and he made the horse-face traitor John Lackey look like a fool with a blast many many rows up in section 236 of the Right Field seats, a puddle of bitter chowder as each pointless and pathetic Boston ABs passed by with nothing save for the hot air of the worshipful ESPN telecast crew.

It was awesome. If you are an Angels fan, it carried apocryphal weight in a man who not only turned his back on the Angels franchise, but who signed with a despised east coast media darling. Weaver took the Angels to the mountaintop just two days after becoming a dad, deepened in meaning for Halo Nation by the naming of his son Aden after the late Nick Adenhart. Shakespeare doesn't write sheet as good as John Kruk watched tonight.