Joe Blanton pitched five scoreless innings against the Texas Rangers in a spring training game against the Texas Rangers on Wednesday in Surprise, Arizona.
He allowed one hit.
This is not a rookie who shares the same name as the worst pitcher in baseball. Nope. This IS the worst pitcher in baseball, Joe Blanton, yes, THAT Joe Blanton.
He struck out five Rangers.
The conspiracy theory is that the Texas squad would give us false hope on this strange and mournful day, as a Blanton and Angels reunion is only a Scioscia away.
And so we have Jered Weaver and C.J. Wilson. We have Hector Santiago and Tyler Skaggs. And then it seems to be Garrett Richards (terrible this spring, P.U.) but now Joe "Little Darling" Blanton has reared his ugly head, not half the pitcher as Matt Shoemaker (and not one-tenth the beard) but ... THERE. HE. IS.
He won today, Charlie Sheen WINNING style. He only won two games last year. The WIN stat doesn't mean anything but... THERE. IT. IS.
Joe... Get off the mound, get off the stage, if Blanton pitched like he pitched today it could mean a lot of things but it means only one thing:
Baseball is a funny game.
Anomalies are not proof of anything. Don't connect the dots. Don't look for videos of the third tower falling. There is no conspiracy. It is just a coincidence of swings and misses instead of swings and contact. There was no pitcher on the grassy knoll in Texas. The game was in Arizona anyway, Surprise!.
There was Joe Blanton on a mound and it wasn't a disaster. Now go look for the missing airplane, there is nothing to see here.