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Hey, Mike Scioscia...Dodgers let Don Mattingly go, need a new manager *HINT HINT*

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Tom Hauck/Getty Images

News broke earlier this  morning that Don Mattingly and the Dodgers have "mutually" parted ways, leaving the Dodgers with no manager and Don Mattingly free to grow out his facial hair, or whatever it is he likes to do in the offseason. Mattingly took the Dodgers to the playoffs three years in a row, a pretty nice feat in and of itself, but with a couple quick exits and one NLCS loss, the Dodgers' front office thought it was time for a conscious uncoupling .

That's a tough break for Donnie Baseball, but when you manage the team with MLB's highest payroll, and in a market like Los Angeles, you will be expected to bring home some hardware, or kick rocks. Don't feel TOO bad for Mattingly: he's still going to get paid by the Dodgers for the upcoming season. Plus, he's sure to find another baseball job out there, if he wants one.

No, let's instead focus our sympathies on the Dodgers. Right now, they are rudderless. They've lost their on-field leader. They need a shot in the arm; someone that can come in and kick their franchise into shape and invigorate dummy Dodger fans everywhere. They need a guy that's played for the Dodgers, because it shows a commitment to trAdition. They need a guy who has won a World Series before, and maybe a handful of division titles, because that shows a history and pedigree of success.

Yep, the Dodgers NEED Mike Scioscia. No two ways about it, and Mike, if you're listening...the fate of your beloved boys in blue is in jeopardy. Mike, if you have any semblance of a heart, and if you love money, please do whatever it takes to woo them into offering you the gig. Seriously, I think I speak for Angels fans everywhere when I say that we're cool with it; if you love something, you need to let it go, and if he comes back, then it was truly meant to be.

Mike Scioscia could opt out of his contract, and campaign his butt off for the Dodgers managerial job, and maybe he'd never come back to us, and we'd come to miss him terribly. I'm willing to take that risk, however, because I'm a nice guy and I think it'd be really neighborly of the Angels to let Mike walk, and don the Dodgers uniform once again.

Just sayin', Mike Scioscia. If you leave us for bluer pastures, we'll manage. It'll be rough for awhile, for sure, but we'll manage. You've got a city and franchise to save, don't mind us little ol' Halos fans. Arte Moreno will be heartbroken, but he has billions of dollar bills waiting to soak up his tears. He'll be fine, I'll be fine, we'll ALL be fine.

The opportunity is there, Mikey. The Dodgers have a vacant managerial position. JUST SAYIN'. I would TOTALLY hate to see you go, bro, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Stop reading this, Sosh. Pick up the phone, call Andre Friedman, Magic Johnson, Tommy Lasorda, Vin Scully, etc. Don't waste any time. They need a hero, and you'll finally see the truth, that a hero lies in you.

beef