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Ohio .500: Angels swept, slammed, and dunked

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I appreciate the precision of their mediocrity: 65 won, 65 lost.

David Richard-USA TODAY Sports

So now we can surrender any pretense about the Angels being a "good" team. Out of 130 games, they've lost as many as they've won. That is precisely the same record as all of Major League Baseball: for every win, a loss; for every loss, a win. All their previous games might as well have been decided on a coin toss.

Incidentally, this is also the eighth loss in a row that I've written up. Since we're talking coins, let's toss some. The probability of drawing a loss in any one of 130 chances this season is a nice even ½. The probability of getting eight in a row is the same as tossing heads with eight coins in a row. That's (½)8 = 0.00390625, or about 0.4%. I've also drawn 10 losses in 12 tries, and though the probability is not as easy to calculate, it turns out to be 1.9%, which is also rather unlikely.

To commemorate this rare achievement I went ahead and let the entire masthead know that I never assume liability for my own actions:

Never tell me the odds. Also from the Context-Free Statistics Department, the Angels are an incredible 0-for-65 in games that they lose.

The summary here is similar to last night's game, just with the killing blow shifted forward by a couple of innings. Jered Weaver did not look especially sharp but only gave up a couple of tough-luck runs (appreciate the help, sun) until the fifth inning. Even that wasn't so bad until Kole Calhoun lost another ball in the sun, which put two on with one out, instead of one-on with two out, at which point Mike Scioscia again (!!!) decided to intentionally walk Lonnie Chisenhall—he of a career 101 OPS+. Grand slam, game over. The only difference was the batter: this time it was Abraham Almonte instead of Yan Gomes.  (Q. When is tactically advantageous to walk a potential run on base? A. Almost never! So you can put the splits chart away.)

Also more of the same from the lineup whose accomplishments this month include:

  1. A .217 batting average! Things have to turn around eventually.
  2. A 6.7% walk rate! Stay aggressive at the plate.
  3. A .621 OPS! You can't always swing for the fences.
  4. A double play for every 13.3 baserunners! Make contact no matter what.

Special thanks to Albert Pujols, who is looking to improve on his .224 / .269 / .439 effort in July with a .220 / .262 / .360 showing in August (with 5 GIDP). Keep at it, Albert, only one game left! Mike Trout went 4-for-4 and fell a home run short of the most inconsequential cycle in recent memory. Grant Green did hit a home run though, so that was good for him. Good for you, Grant Green.

And that makes it .500. Just fo fun, I'll mention that the Angels are now seven games behind Houston and four games behind Texas, so that dream is all but officially dead. A wild card is slightly less impossible, but there are also seven teams somewhat in contention for those two spots. Everyone else would need to experience some incredibly bad luck in order for that to happen. Then again, look at me with my 1-in-256 string of coin tosses.