Their season was almost done yesterday, but then David Freese pulled us all from the brink, and pointed the team towards October glory. Angels fans everywhere screamed in disbelief, "This team is going to the playoffs?!?! PLAYOFFS!!!". Facebook was lit afire with jubilant and exorbitant gloating, and one-upping of who is a True Fan. The Twitterverse was seared with hot takes galore of the Angels' playoff chances, and the Halosphere in general was restless; a tension caused by the happiest of baseball circumstances, but it was tension, nonetheless.
Yes, with the playoffs looming for the Angels, they're now the hottest ticket in town...nay, THE WORLD. Pope? Nope. Dodgers? Don't even bother. NFL? Sounds like hell. The team to see in the coming weeks is our very own Angels, and as of today, at 10 am PST, tickets for the Angels' home playoff games are officially on sale to the general public.
The team is already seeing the huge problem they have on their hands from being in such high demand. Literally seconds after the Angels let the general public buy tickets online, the Angels' website crashed, causing a panic like this country hasn't seen before. It all happened so quick, that it couldn't be stopped...the fervor and insane penchant for the Halos fans to get into one of the upcoming playoff games would trigger a near-collapse of society.
Once the Angels' website was 404'd, the NYSE took note and halted trading. This was just the beginning. People began hoarding their tickets that the were able to procure before the collapse. Some hid their tickets under their beds, and since most of these tickets are just files on their phones/tablets, they were really just putting electronic devices under their mattresses. It was an odd move, but necessary.
Others grew angry, and gathered their favorite Angels gear and headed to the Big A, in hopes to appeal to the organization to release some more tickets, or get the site back up, otherwise there would be hell to pay. The situation was dire; a powder keg, right under some big Angels hats and a Mickey Mouse statue...exactly as all the biblical prophecies foretold.
Halo Honks streamed into the Big A, like a bank run on steroids. They demanded playoff tickets, they demanded to see Mike Trout cement his MVP status, and they demanded to have a forum for their
obnoxious amazing and super-helpful thundersticks skills. THEY DEMANDED ANGELS PLAYOFF TICKETS! WHEN DID THEY WANT IT?! TODAY, HOPEFULLY!
The Angels organization wasn't prepared for this crazy desire of tickets to see the boys in red demolish the best the American and National League can offer up. They called in Arte's Boys, a secret, paramilitary force employed by the owner Arte Moreno, normally for protecting Arizona billboards from being vandalized, but the jack booted thugs were now called upon to quell a potential Halo riot. Arte wanted them to wear red polos, but they opted for tactical gear, instead.
The throng of Angels fans got to the box office, only to be reprimanded for causing such a chaotic scene, as well as reminded that the tickets were only on sale via the Angels' website. There would only be tickets on sale at the stadium on the day of the playoff games, but this news just enraged the throbbing mass of baseball fans and people who didn't have anything better to do and just happened to see a crowd forming. In the middle of it all, a lone fan threw a ragged Rally Monkey through the air and it landed at the feet of Moreno's storm troopers, and with that, the fighting began.
The world as we knew it was coming to an end, simply because the Angels are TOO awesome and are now going to make it into the playoffs, and the team didn't have enough tickets to make the entire population of the known world happy. There was a demand for these magical pieces of paper that admit them into the church of The Big A so high and outrageous, that the rest of the world basically shut down until they too could get a ticket. Somehow, someway, the congregation of rabid Halos worshipers would fight tooth and nail to get to Anaheim, and demand a ticket to see this glorious baseball team take on some other loser teams, while Mike Trout levitates over the center field wall and Mike Scioscia, and David Freese makes baseball miracles happen out of thin air.
Give the people what they want, Angels! GIVE THEM PLAYOFF TICKETS! STOP THE INSANITY AND END THE VIOLENCE NOW! GO ANGELS!!!!
(Okay. For real, though, the Angels will be selling tickets for post-season home games today at 10 am PST. Head to the Angels' site and get a ticket for their inevitable World Series run)