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The scariest, most horrifying Angels items and their horror movie counterparts

Houston Astros v Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Photo by Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images

It’s Halloween, so no better time to look at the Angels, but in a different, dark, spooky light. Yes, I’m here to find out what is SCARY about the Angels. What makes your blood curdle and the hairs on your neck stand at attention? I’ve got a few horrifying Halos tidbits, not to mention the related horror movie watching, for all you scary movie buffs.

Albert Pujols’ contract:

Pujols is signed to a frighteningly-long contract, one that will see him making $30 million from the Halos in the year 2021. This is enough to send chills down your spine, but if you take a look at the type of numbers he’s been putting up, and add in a dose of steady, yearly decline, and you have the recipe for a world class horrorshow.

Related Halloween movie watching: When A Stranger Calls

This contract is killing us, but the call to sign him CAME FROM INSIDE THE FRONT OFFICE, AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Mike Scioscia:

He’s still riding the last of that championship year wave, almost out of goodwill among the fan base, but he’s still going strong. He adheres to rolls, he’s very stuck in his ways for better or worse, and he’s NEVER.GOING.AWAY.

Related Halloween movie watching: Halloween series (excluding pt 3)

I’m putting up two different trailers for Mike Scioscia. He is the Halloween franchise because he started out awesome, and then coasted that glory for far too long afterward. You have to be familiar with the original to understand just how bad things had gotten by the time they were cranking out Halloween 5. Mike Scioscia and Michael Myers...good luck getting rid of either one.

Injuries, injuries, injuries:

It’s arguable that nothing hurt the Angels’ chances more in 2016 than injuries. Garrett Richards, Andrew Heaney, Nick Tropeano, Andrelton Simmons, C.J. Cron, Cam Bedrosian, Huston Street, and the list goes on. The injuries were definitely frightening this season, and didn’t do any favors to an already-maligned Halos team.

Related Halloween movie watching: Reanimator

Maybe Herbert West dabbled in sports medicine, and could re-animate the Angels’ pitching staff?

Arte Moreno:

There is, perhaps, nothing more scary to Angels fans (or at least a very vocal subset of Angels fans) than owner Arte Moreno. If it’s not his idiosyncratic and foot-in-mouth way of doing business, it’s his meddling in on-field baseball affairs and insisting we sign certain players, no matter how detrimental it would be to the team. Moreno is enough to send chills down any Halos fan’s spine, that’s for sure.

Related Halloween movie watching: Something Wicked This Way Comes

Arte Moreno and his travelling evil circus will make you feel great at first, like everything and everybody is perfect...but then the facade collapses and the horrifying truth is revealed.

So, what do you have as the scariest aspect of the Angels these days, and what’s the related Halloween movie watching? I know you’re not going to let me down, and oh...HAPPY HALLOWEEN!