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Mailbag Mayhem: Angels vs. the city, fake trades, Trout/Pujols bromance, dank memes and MORE!

Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

Alright Halos Heaven fam, we have another installment of my Lyle Spencer Award For Brilliance In Baseball Writing-nominated series, Mailbag Mayhem. Today's questions were pretty darn good/weird/coherent, so props to all that dropped me a line or comment on Facebook. I'm going to do my best to get to all that I can, in rapid fire succession...because that's always the best way to answer complicated questions, right? Right. Let's see what y'all had for me today.

Damn. An actual baseball question that requires thinking on my part, right off the bat. Here's literally the first thing that comes to mind: go after Marcell Ozuna. Marlins want more pitching, but they're also wanting to keep in inexpensive. Well, the Angels could probably make that work. I'd try to get them interested in Hector Santiago(as much as I love him), if possible...pick up Ozuna and put him in LF. Of course, they probably want someone who's got more time left on their current deal, especially in giving up a relatively young OF, but maybe they'd be down with that? Especially considering there's been some reported in-fighting between Ozuna/Scott Boras and the Marlins. If not, Hector, then maybe they'll nibble on Nick Tropeano. Feel free to mock this idea openly in the comments.

When is pizza, in any shape or form, too much? The answer is "Never". Your wife will probably flip out, in a good way, and that pizza will end up netting you another kid, possibly 3. Go for it.

Sounds like the Angels should take a look at you for their roster. Do you mind coming out of the bullpen? As for C.J., we should root for him this year. If he's dope, it helps the team AND he becomes trade bait for whom we could maybe get a prospect or two to restock the farm with. If C.J. wins, we all win(maybe).

I'm pulling for Sherman Johnson, if we're talking total surprises. Or at least seeing him sometime this year would be rad. Other than him, Ji-Man Choi could be legit.

We're all just about done with the crying Michael Jordan meme, aren't we? That was the first to pop into my head. Just seems played out, but your mileage may vary. It was dank for awhile but i'm not sure that meme is still sporting the dankness. Meanwhile, i'm still riding high on Doge memes in my Doge Challenger:

Bear-sized duck, probably. Duck-sized bears would be too cute for me to fight.

Good question, really tough to even take a guess. I hit up a source about stadium news a month or two ago, and the city is dealing with putting out some other fires right now, apparently. So no movement on either end at this moment. If it happens in 2016, it'll be later in the year, I reckon.

Now for some Facebook action. Brace yourselves, folks:

Edna Whetstone asks: I watch every Angels game on TV and manage to get to 1 or 2 games a year. I absolutely love how the Angel dugout reacts to the game especially when something good happens. Suddenly grown men are transformed into little boys...all of them. I believe having that kind of team chemistry contributes significantly to a team's success. I am particularly intrigued by the obviously positive relationship between Albert and Mike. Can you give some insight on this special relationship? It could have been so different.

I don't have any special insight, to be honest. Alden Gonzalez had a nice article about their budding bromance last year. Definitely worth a read. Not much I can really add to what's said there. But I LOVE IT! More of this in 2016, please:

David Goodkind asks: Is there any chance the Angels resign a guy like Murphy....or sign or trade for any starting left fielder? Please don't tell me we're stuck with that god awful platoon.

Well, since you said "please", I'll just move on to the next question.

Filbert Martinez asks:  Has anyone ever asked Artie why he is punishing the Angel fans because of his obvious mistake of signing J Hamilton?

No, pretty sure that nobody has ever asked him about this. Next time I see him, though, it's on like a prawn that yawns at dawn, dude. (Don't hold me to that, though. Thanks.)

Del Ferguson asks: Do you think Mike Scioscia will make it till July 4th ?

Steven Garrison asks: Will the angels be better then what people think?

Call me crazy, but I totally think they will be. Of course, most people don't think they'll be that good. So low bar, and what not...BUT STILL!

Josh Dorgan asks:  Do you think Mike Trout could come out to the pitch the 7th inning?

No. But I think Andrelton Simmons could! Dude could probably throw so hard it'd make Jered Weaver reassess his life.

Warren Johnsen asks: whats your favorite restaurant around the Angels Stadium? Mine is Ruth's Chris Steak House.

Fritz's, probably.

Danny Mondragon asks:  Who the FUCK is Renee Zellwedger!!!!

My favorite question of the day, FYI.

Bob Kohli asks:  When is Barney Heads Grounds keeper going to get his Own Bobble Head Night ?

That'd be pretty neat. The answer, though, is NEVER. You'll continue to get your San Manuel tote bags and like it, or else.

Brandon Sperl asks: Do you think Albert pujols is hall of fame worthy?

Alright, guys, that about wraps this session of Mailbag Mayhem up. I have no more wisdom to bestow upon you(yes, i'm playing fast and loose with the term "wisdom" there), and it's about time I check out of my 9to5 office and head home to watch Tuesday's episode of The Expanse, and then Legends of Tomorrow. To quote the poet Ron Burgundy, "it's boring, but it's my life."  We've only got a couple more weeks until pitchers and catcher report to Tempe. This off-season, as hard as it may have been to endure, is just about over. Baseball will make things better, I promise. Now check out this (fairly) new song from OCs most energetic, Satan-loving pop punk band, Bellhaunts, and dance around your living room like an insane person.