The newest narcotic that’s burst on to the scene in the Halosphere has a chemical makeup name of LICFBW, or Late-Inning-Come-From-Behind-Win, but the average LICFBW user on the streets calls it Panther, for reasons unknown. This stuff is DANGEROUS, folks.
If you want to get an idea of how powerful Late-Inning-Come-From-Behind-Win is, then all you have to do is look at the Angels pitching. Oh, what’s that? The Angels are coming from behind to win a game, and your serotonin flood gates have opened up, pouring all of that brain jelly into every receptor and now you are completely unable to pay attention to the pitching?
Exactly my point.
We felt so, so good riding high on that fresh Panther pow pow, dudes, but it made us neglect the negativity that should have been heaped upon many of the pitchers in the Angels’ staff, and righteously so. Well, some of us neglected the ugly performances of late, but some of us were not allowing themselves to get intoxicated on the LICFBW. They were sober as jaybirds and they tried to tell us, without sounding too grumpy or dad-like.
Tonight, was had yet another starter (Jesse Chavez) have a bad outing (4.1 IP, 5 H, 5 ER) and not even get past six innings pitched. Tonight, the bullpen allowed the Rangers to add some more runs on the board; Mike Morin being the worst offender ( 1.0 IP, 3 H, 2 ER).
The game was actually kind of cool in the beginning sides; The Angels got down quick, 2-0, but then they came back the next frame and got two on the board from a C.J. Cron sac fly and a Danny Espinosa sac fly. Then, Mike Trout put the Angels in the drivers seat with a homer to deep center field, his third of the season. The Halos had a 3-2 lead.
Oh, how I was already fixating on my upcoming dose of LICFBW, thinking of how good its going to feel, the gifs I was going to post, the recs I’d hand out and receive, and the articles that we’d write up on Halos Heaven. Then, my connect for Late-Inning-Come-From-Behind-Win fell through, and it just got worse from there.
The game was dumb, and I didn’t have any of Panther and that fact was beginning to make me irritable. I began thinking about how stupid the pitching was, and then I thought about how the pitching has been pretty suspect for a lot of games, I just got seduced by the Panther.
To paraphrase Rick James, appearing in the Chappelle Show story by the late, great Charlie Murphy...Panther is a hell of a drug.
Look, they were going to lose some games at some point. The pitching will click at some point; Garrett Richards and Matt Shoemaker will, at least. Then things will be better. They’ll still be winning games and it’ll be rad, but it’ll be clean, and pure, and honest. We won’t have to completely ignore aspects of the team in order to insufflate that pure Panther.
That said, I’m hoping to score some LICFBW tomorrow. Just being honest.