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Why I’m a fan of the Angels when they lose 8-5 to the ******* Miami Marlins

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim v Miami Marlins Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

Angels 5 Marlins 8

I love the Angels, they’re my favorite baseball team. They are so rad at losing to mediocre-to-bad MLB teams; you haven’t seen REAL baseball until you’ve watched the Halos get their asses handed to them by the Miami Marlins. It’s practically a religious experience, but not of the “I was so moved by the moment and what I saw that I had a newfound understanding of my place in the world” variety. It’s more the “I saw Satan, I am his slave now and I must now chew on this glass” kind of religious experience.

Jesse Chavez gave up a couple homers. Jose Alvarez gave up on homer. They are now on pace to give up 231 HOMERS in 2017. The most allowed by any previous Halos team was 229, set by the 2000 squad. This year’s team is going to bury that record, most likely. Who knows what other dubious accolades and all-time lows they’ll rack up, hell yeah.

I could talk more about some other really, really cool things that unfolded in this game, like Bud Norris pitching in the bottom of the eighth, his team down five runs, until he was pulled from the game due to some sort of injury.

Oh, and I could also bring up the absolute shit show of a first inning, from not just the pitching, but from some incredibly weak defense. DEFENSE IS SUPPOSED TO BE THIS TEAM’S STRONG SUIT, LOL. Man, there’s just too much other stuff that we could talk about, but I won’t, because it’s Friday night of a holiday weekend and life’s too short for games like tonight’s.

Why I’m a fan of the Angels...that doesn’t sound right. Should be:


The Marlins?! Really?! /sigh

Alright, alright. I’m calming down. Gonna chill out here for a sec, maybe go do some yoga. Or I’ll kick my television, I don’t know, we’ll see how the night plays out.

Oh, props to Martin Maldonado for a sick throw in the first. There was that.

Major props to Nolan Fontana, who got his first MLB hit of his career tonight, which also happened to be a solo big fly! That was neat, to be quite honest. He pulled a Bandy.