Disclaimer: Someone else first mentioned this in a thread. I can’t remember, and I’m too lazy to go find it. I know, I’m a great writer.
It may now be dubbed the curse of the 3’s.
The non-important information, of course, is that Alex Meyer has been sent to the DL with something called “right shoulder inflamation.” To me, that sounds like it hurts. If you really like reading more about that, Jeff Fletcher has more HERE . Who cares that he was coming off the best start of his life? Not the baseball gods. They’re probably somewhere else, drinking away their immortality and hitting random buttons for which pitchers to injure. Of course, since they’re drunk, they don’t see which buttons they hit, and their grubby little fingers all happen to land on Angel pitching (and Met pitching, but that’s beside the point). Kaleb Cowart will probably be called up to fill Meyer’s place, and thank goodness for that. About time.
Over the winter, the Angels traded for Danny Espinosa, who wore #3. He went on to “hit” to the tune of .162/.237/.276/.513 over 254 plate appearances before being released. Somehow Mike Scioscia let this guy walk up to the plate two-hundred-and-fifty-four times this year.
Yeah, when you write it all out, it seems worse. Our good friend Jerry Dipoto signed him for the Mariners, and of course he will now rake for the Mariners, because that’s the way these things works.
To replace Danny Espinosa, the Angels commissioned Nick Franklin, who wears #13. Franklin somehow managed to lower the bar by putting up a slash line of .087/.276/.087/.363. He’s still on the roster, so he has a chance to lower those numbers.
Now, Alex Meyer wears #23, but when the baseball gods decided to strike him down, he resisted. He even put up the best start of his life on July 19, not one week ago, allowing just one hit in seven solid innings. The baseball gods didn’t like him succeeding, so they decided to injure him. Woohoo.
Who’s next? It seems all players with a 3 on their jersey are subject to some sort of inhuman fate.
Next in line numerically is Cam Bedrosian, who wears #32. He seems fine right now, but maybe keep an eye out?
David Hernandez, who wears #33, takes the brunt of the force. He has double-3s. Or maybe they cancel each other out. Who knows? Keep an eye on him too.
Nick Tropeano, who wears #35, is already on the 60-day DL. No need to take care of him. Maybe a less spiteful god was looking out for Tropeano and put him out of commission before the major gods could wreak their vengeance on the #3 on Tropeano’s back.
Yusmeiro Petit, who wears #36, has been a solid long man for the Halos. Maybe the baseball gods will be getting him soon.
Same with Andrew Bailey, who wears #37. Although he may be returning soon, so he has to watch out.
Keynan Middleton, who wears #39, has a 3 AND a 3-squared. This is just prime recipe for Buttercup. It showed. He was lights-out earlier this season, then he decided to get too cocky to Cody Bellinger, and now he’s allowed homers in like every other appearance. Big Buttercup right there.
Garrett Richards, who wears #43, is also unavailable. He was also pranked last year.
Blake Parker, who wears #53, might be lower down on the pecking order, but I’m sure the baseball gods will get to him eventually. Run!
Who even knows where Nate Smith (#73) is?
Cameron Maybin, who wears #9, thought he was safe, so he decided to take a chance at stealing a base. The baseball gods laughed and checked their times-tables. It so happens that 3 X 3 is 9. Maybin is now on the DL.
Mike Trout, who wears #27, is safe. He’s as safe as safe can be. A harmless little 2 and a harmless little 7...I think I remember math. No way you can get 27 from 3s. That’s just not possible. See, I’ll show you.
“Take 3 and multiply it by 3. You get 9, which is nowhere near 27. **nervous laugh** Multiply it by third 3, and...wait...”
Is the Curse of 3’s real?
This poll is closed